That article is such bullshit. There is no fucking way Romney is a unicorn.
Those of us in the know about these things believe Romney is a Sasquatch. Why do you think he spends so much time getting his hair to look so perfect? Because he is hiding the truth from his supporters.
Likewise, he speaks in a halting, unsure manner, because human speech is not natural to him. He is accustomed to the series of grunts and moans which constitute communication among the Sasquatch elders. Speaking English is rather difficult for him because of this, and he has trouble remember what things are called in human languages.
The people running this "Mitt Romney is a unicorn" campaign are simply controlled opposition meant to make Sasquatch-theorists look ridiculous, and throw voters off the trail of the truth.