Kim Jong-un is suffering from health problems

[dpareja]

[Ghoti]

He has heir.  That goofy bowl cut.

That was the single most wretched pun I've ever heard.

Viking! You're paying for my painkillers!

[dpareja]

Honestly, at this point it wouldn't surprise me if he tried to name as his heir his hair.

[KZN02]

On the Chinese side of things, I've heard there's a military coup or something. China is hoping this will turn in their favor since they're tired of having to support the dang country with a leadership that is more trouble than it's worth.

[Thejebusfire]

They also have an entire city that exists for the sole purpose of showing off. No one actually lives there. They just have a bunch of people walk around during the day and bus them out at night.

[Igor]

He has heir.  That goofy bowl cut.

Doubleplusunfunny.

[chitoryu12]

apparently partly due to a weakness for cheese

This is my favorite part of the article.

[Askold]

apparently partly due to a weakness for cheese

This is my favorite part of the article.

He is the dictator. The only person in North Korea who has the complete freedom to do anything he wants. While most of the country lives in poverty his every wish and whim will be fullfilled by his slaves/citizens who literally worship him.

If he wanted to he could have a harem of 1000 women (and/or men), all of them clothed in pure gold and diamonds, in giant mansion filled with marshmallows and champagne. (He does not quite have the resources to have the mansion be a space station circling Earth.) Or ANYTHING equally crazy.

Instead he says: "Bring me the cheese. ...All of it."

That is a man who holds power in a nation with nuclear weapons.

[niam2023]

Yeah, this is a man with nukes at his finger tips, and what does he want?

Does he want gold? Diamonds? Women / Men? An elaborate Bond Villain scheme?

No. He just likes cheese. And he wants a lot of cheese.

Now, if I was a dictator, I would order that:

1) beards on men must be 1 inch or shorter, and women must wear make up on only one half of their face.
2) families must turn over 4 spiders and 4 snakes per year, or face tickle torture for three hours straight.
3) Cookies must be home made. There can be no mass production of cookies in the People's Republic of Union City.
4) Wherever I go, there will be two dancing women present twirling flags of my state.
5) Proper etiquette must be observed in PMs related to online games, on pain of death.
6) you must only eat ten Cheese-Its during one hour, or be arrested and charged with public indecency and put into a reeduction camp for six months.
7) All men who look like Steve Doocy must get plastic surgery to resemble Aldous Huxley.
8] All Vegan food must be labeled on the front - "PETA FINDS NO PURCHASE HERE!"
9) Used car salesmen, lawyers, and people who talk on Fox News are taxed exorbitantly, and if unable to pay, are sent to special prisons only for Used Car Salesmen, Lawyers, and People Who Talk On Fox News.
10) There will be two newspapers - one owned by me, and one operated by my cat, Caligula.

[Ghoti]

Niam for President!

[niam2023]

11) Ghoti confirmed as my Secretary of Busting People I Don't Like.

[Ghoti]

11) Ghoti confirmed as my Secretary of Busting People I Don't Like.

Would that make me the Ghotsapo?

[Barbarella]

Yeah, this is a man with nukes at his finger tips, and what does he want?

Does he want gold? Diamonds? Women / Men? An elaborate Bond Villain scheme?

No. He just likes cheese. And he wants a lot of cheese.

Now, if I was a dictator, I would order that:

1) beards on men must be 1 inch or shorter, and women must wear make up on only one half of their face.
2) families must turn over 4 spiders and 4 snakes per year, or face tickle torture for three hours straight.
3) Cookies must be home made. There can be no mass production of cookies in the People's Republic of Union City.
4) Wherever I go, there will be two dancing women present twirling flags of my state.
5) Proper etiquette must be observed in PMs related to online games, on pain of death.
6) you must only eat ten Cheese-Its during one hour, or be arrested and charged with public indecency and put into a reeduction camp for six months.
7) All men who look like Steve Doocy must get plastic surgery to resemble Aldous Huxley.
8] All Vegan food must be labeled on the front - "PETA FINDS NO PURCHASE HERE!"
9) Used car salesmen, lawyers, and people who talk on Fox News are taxed exorbitantly, and if unable to pay, are sent to special prisons only for Used Car Salesmen, Lawyers, and People Who Talk On Fox News.
10) There will be two newspapers - one owned by me, and one operated by my cat, Caligula.

.....*muahahahaaa*...As for me, in my dark dictatorship of doom, I would mandate "Pinkie Pie Day"! Anyone caught not wearing a Pinkie Pie costume/themed outfit or being Pinkie enough gets thrown into the re-education camps to slave away making Pinkie Pie coffee mugs!

IT'LL BE THE SNUGGLIEST, PINKIEST DICTATORIAL REGIME, EVER! BE PINK OR DIIIIIIEEEEE!

[Thejebusfire]

I would declare the first of every month to be backwards day. Everyone will have to wear their clothes and walk backwards. Then I will have my male servants parade me down the streets so I can laugh at how stupid everyone looks.

[Dakota Bob]

If I ran the country all I'd want is tits in my face all the time. I'm a man of simple needs.