Things That Annoy You

[niam2023]

I suppose you are right on this one.

On the note of college sports it irks me that regardless what I do, I feel like an outsider - that no matter how I act, it always seems I am looked at as a dorky, nerdy kid.

I have tried everything, including cutting all ties to my old nerdy friends.

All I want is the same respect college jocks get.

Let me tell you: that "respect" is fleeting.

It's really true. All of the stuff you get in school ends up rapidly disappearing after you leave unless you've got what it takes to keep it going. High school football and basketball players often fail to make it to the college level, and college players often fail to make it any higher. The only ones who survive afterward are the ones who have other marketable skills or a good personality.

Honestly niam, after all of your posts on it, it seems like you have a sort of stereotypical view of how respect and school hierarchies work.

To be honest, I cannot see myself as good or attractive unless everything lines up the way I need it to for my internal image.

Yes, I seem to possess a rather stereotypical ideal of what it means to go into college - I just want that lifestyle, because I was never given any respect growing up. Nobody ever, ever, chatted about me, or thought about me seriously as a prospect, pictured me as anything but a nerd, someone obsessed in introspective things, and who is socially awkward. I don't want to live that way any more. I hate my past self. I'd say I'd bully my past self, but I suppose that's redundant - kind of feels like I already do that plenty now.

In high school and now in college, people romantically choose people who were actually athletic, not just a shallow parody the way I am. I tell myself I look good if only to try to bring up the gall to act cockily, to try to convince myself I have chosen my new social caste. That I've left high school in the dust.

They get all the girls, they get an easy cruise through college, and while I know I'll have to work, I want to get the outside impression of such a happy, good life. I want to have friends who I can chat with about small stuff, not about philosophical debates or what inferences to take from an action. I want to give the appearance of being admired for what I am and how I look first, because I know I'm a horrible wretch personality wise, and that I won't get anywhere based on personality, and that I'm not good at anything, and I won't ever be.

I know it'll all fade away after college, but if I don't go forward with it, I won't have anything ever period. And having a momentary flash of glory is better than being a disgusting fat sack of shit my entire life.

tl;dr: I want to deny the entirety of my life before the application to college, because I hate my entire social history.

[chitoryu12]

Okay, this is gonna sound pretty harsh.

But I've seen a lot of your posts here. I've seen your sociopathic musings and your plan for how the country would be so much better being ruled by a "benevolent" dictator (just so happens to be yourself) who executes citizens in the night for moral failings, with dramatic musings on how you must sacrifice yourself and your humanity to serve the good of the people. I've seen your constant attempts at stereotyping the world and striving for a cliche, then getting angry when it doesn't happen.

And now you're saying that "you won't get anywhere based on personality."

Honestly? No fucking shit. At what point have you tried to improve on your personal failings? When you admit that the world may not be as teen movie cliche as you think it is, do you accept it? I haven't seen it if you have. What I've seen so far is dramatic hand-wringing and raging against the machine because everything doesn't fit your fanciful standards.

You're complaining about being a shallow parody, but your entire world view is a shallow parody of reality that seems filtered through bad teen movies about the jock/nerd dynamic and you seem to only have fleeting moments of clarity that disappear as soon as it becomes convenient for you to rant about how everyone has more than you and how awful of a person you are.

I don't even get this whole "I'm just a poor nerd thing." Dude, nerdiness is in. It has become cool to be a nerd. People don't view you as a "nerd." They probably view you as something a lot worse if this is how you behave off the internet.

tl;dr You're behaving like an angsty 13-year-old who never grew up.

[RavynousHunter]

Chit, you do know "tough love" is bullshit, right?  Instead of trying to help or even understand his issue, you're basically saying "you're fucked up" and leaving it at that.  Lemme tell ya from experience, folks like us know that already.  We're acutely fucking aware of it.  We don't need people telling us shit we already know.  The only difference between what you said and what comes from a mouth-breathing jock is that you aren't being outright malignant.

[chitoryu12]

I'm not giving him "tough love." I'm tired of him responding to criticism of his behavior or world view by channeling a fantasy world that embraces common fiction stereotypes and acknowledging that his personality is a problem while continuing to rant and rave and make dramatic proclamations about how things don't conform to his standards.

[RavynousHunter]

Sometimes, people need to rave and bitch.  Granted, he does sometimes fly off the handle and get a tad...ridiculous, but.  Well, you haven't been here long enough to be exposed to some of the complete fucking insanity this forum's had to deal with.  Reading the posts is one thing, but its another to have actually been there while it was going on.  Trust me, he's fucking tame when compared against the likes of Mannnnnnnn^n, Chagen, Keiro, or Mabus.

What Niam really needs is more exposure to the real world.  Unfortunately, that's one thing regular school doesn't do, its an artificial environment, a little bubble tucked away from regular society.  Kinda like prison, only you're slightly less likely to get stabbed by a skinhead for a pack of smokes.

[chitoryu12]

I viewed niam mostly as a "little weird" up until his spiel about an ideal government that had him in the role of a "benevolent" dictator who arranged Mafia-style "accidents" for moral failings or crimes that the court system failed to address (performed by badass Dishonored-style assassins with hoods and leather and dual-wielding a pistol and sword and EAGLE CLAW LOGO IT'S SO COOL) and used drone strikes and overwhelming military force to deal with countries that fucked with his nation while using subterfuge and funding revolutions to ensure that every other nation was compliant with his will.

I mean.....seriously, dude.

[RavynousHunter]

His views aren't that different from mine when I was in high school.  I saw the world as inherently corrupt and people on the whole as inherently evil.  The only way peace could be achieved would be by force, coercion, and subterfuge.

Yes, some kids in high school actually harbour somewhat violent fantasies.  I WONDER WHY.

[I am lizard]

You know, I think my favorite part of this web-sight is the drama.

[Witchyjoshy]

I think the sad part is that we're comparatively well-adjusted compared to several other forums.

[RavynousHunter]

Be thankful.  We could be overrun with hipsters.

[Random Gal]

I was on this forum before it was popular. It's too mainstream for me now.

[niam2023]

Okay, this is gonna sound pretty harsh.

But I've seen a lot of your posts here. I've seen your sociopathic musings and your plan for how the country would be so much better being ruled by a "benevolent" dictator (just so happens to be yourself) who executes citizens in the night for moral failings, with dramatic musings on how you must sacrifice yourself and your humanity to serve the good of the people. I've seen your constant attempts at stereotyping the world and striving for a cliche, then getting angry when it doesn't happen.

And now you're saying that "you won't get anywhere based on personality."

Honestly? No fucking shit. At what point have you tried to improve on your personal failings? When you admit that the world may not be as teen movie cliche as you think it is, do you accept it? I haven't seen it if you have. What I've seen so far is dramatic hand-wringing and raging against the machine because everything doesn't fit your fanciful standards.

You're complaining about being a shallow parody, but your entire world view is a shallow parody of reality that seems filtered through bad teen movies about the jock/nerd dynamic and you seem to only have fleeting moments of clarity that disappear as soon as it becomes convenient for you to rant about how everyone has more than you and how awful of a person you are.

I don't even get this whole "I'm just a poor nerd thing." Dude, nerdiness is in. It has become cool to be a nerd. People don't view you as a "nerd." They probably view you as something a lot worse if this is how you behave off the internet.

tl;dr You're behaving like an angsty 13-year-old who never grew up.

Thank you. I appreciate honesty, and I honestly cannot stand people who sugarcoat their opinions to preserve my "feelings".

I know that I channel strange and outdated views of the way things are, and I'm vying for an old, no longer quite valid ideal. I just do not know of any other possible view to take, and its the only one readily available to me about how high school and college life works. Is there a different way college works now?

Is there any way I can affect change of my personality? Like, real change, not just changing how I act?

[Art Vandelay]

Is there a different way college works now?

The jock/nerd dichotomy is most certainly bullshit. Really, the only way you'll have a hard time fitting in is if you don't much care for spending every last cent getting shit faced and partying until 5 in the morning every other night.

Why yes, I do think the university/college experience is extremely overrated.

[chitoryu12]

I don't think the jock/nerd dichotomy has ever really been a thing. People tend to hang out with like-minded individuals, but the barriers between "cliques" are a lot more fluid than fiction portrays and I don't think there's such a thing as a "clique", where everyone hangs out with the same people and ignore/battle the others.

Sports teams get a lot of attention from schools, sure, but cases like Steubenville make it seem like "da jocks" can get away with anything. Those kids got covered not because the jocks are somehow at the top of any hierarchy, but because the school didn't want to admit that two popular members of a profitable team committed a felony. Likewise, being a nerd is now one of the coolest things you can do; comic book movies are the big money maker, it's typical for people to walk around with "nerd" apparel and wear their fandoms on their sleeves, and conventions are some of the biggest events around.

But changing how you act is the first step to actually changing yourself as a person. You can't improve unless you improve your behavior. Dramatic rants that sound like they came off Livejournal? Not a good thing; they make you seem egotistical and "holier than thou". And just plain don't be an asshole in person. Even if talking to people and making friends is hard, don't be mean.

And for god's sake don't talk about how you think the country should be run.

[Sleepy]

Yeah, you don't need to act like a stereotypical jock to make friends and earn respect. You want to hang out with people who you have something in common with (usually hobbies) and generally not be an asshole. Also, I really doubt that you're not good at a single thing. Look at each college's majors and see what interests you, while keeping in mind that not all majors lead to the greatest careers.