Wishes Will Be Corrupted

[Sigmaleph]

Granted. Everyone dies (What did you expect?).

I wish healthiness and tastiness in food were perfectly correlated.

[R. U. Sirius]

Granted. Unfortunately, the correlation is inverse.

I wish all food was exactly as healthy as it was tasty.

[Flying Mint Bunny!]

Granted. Unfortunately, the correlation is inverse.

I wish all food was exactly as healthy as it was tasty.

Granted, but it's based on someone with really bizarre tastes, so you still don't like healthy food.

I wish I liked Indian food.

[Silhouette]

Granted. But it's the only food you like.

I wish I could imitate any voice.

[PosthumanHeresy]

Granted. But it's the only food you like.

I wish I could imitate any voice.

Granted. The government brainwashes you and makes you a weapon.

I wish I could imitate any singing voice.

[Ghoti]

Granted. But it's the only food you like.

I wish I could imitate any voice.

Granted. The government brainwashes you and makes you a weapon.

I wish I could imitate any singing voice.

Granted. You're forced to imitate Justin Bieber by a mob of brainwashed teenage girls.

I wish I could sing "Far Over the Misty Mountains Cold" perfectly anytime I wanted.

[Undecided]

Granted. You're forced to imitate Justin Bieber by a mob of brainwashed teenage girls.

I wish I could sing "Far Over the Misty Mountains Cold" perfectly anytime I wanted.

You now sing "Far Over the Misty Mountains Cold" perfectly, perpetually.

I want my body to be expensive-gay-porn-worthy.

[PosthumanHeresy]

Granted. You're forced to imitate Justin Bieber by a mob of brainwashed teenage girls.

I wish I could sing "Far Over the Misty Mountains Cold" perfectly anytime I wanted.

You now sing "Far Over the Misty Mountains Cold" perfectly, perpetually.

I want my body to be expensive-gay-porn-worthy.

Granted. You are a lesbian porn starlett.

I wish I could summon people at will by name.

[Ghoti]

Granted. You're forced to imitate Justin Bieber by a mob of brainwashed teenage girls.

I wish I could sing "Far Over the Misty Mountains Cold" perfectly anytime I wanted.

You now sing "Far Over the Misty Mountains Cold" perfectly, perpetually.

I want my body to be expensive-gay-porn-worthy.

Granted. You are a lesbian porn starlett.

I wish I could summon people at will by name.

Granted. Whenever you summon someone, they land on your head.

I wish I could bitchslap Amy (of Amy's Baking Company infamy) and get away with it.

[Leafy]

Granted. You're forced to imitate Justin Bieber by a mob of brainwashed teenage girls.

I wish I could sing "Far Over the Misty Mountains Cold" perfectly anytime I wanted.

You now sing "Far Over the Misty Mountains Cold" perfectly, perpetually.

I want my body to be expensive-gay-porn-worthy.

Granted. You are a lesbian porn starlett.

I wish I could summon people at will by name.

Granted. Whenever you summon someone, they land on your head.

I wish I could bitchslap Amy (of Amy's Baking Company infamy) and get away with it.

Granted, but she follows you around for the rest of your life.

I wish I could cook like a world class chef.

[PosthumanHeresy]

Granted. You cook like a world class chef specializing in insects.

I wish I had an amazing steak.

[Random Gal]

Granted. Everyone around you is a hardcore animal-rights activist and makes you feel really guilty about eating it.

I wish I could travel to any time and place in existence at will.

[R. U. Sirius]

Granted, but every time you use this ability you age ten years.

I wish for a cybernetic exoskeleton that both gave me increased strength and speed and protected my body from any extra wear such abilities would normally give.

[Ghoti]

Granted, but every time you use this ability you age ten years.

I wish for a cybernetic exoskeleton that both gave me increased strength and speed and protected my body from any extra wear such abilities would normally give.

Granted. You bankrupt yourself building it, and when the debt collection agency shows up they blast it with an EMP so you can't run away/fight them off. After the EMP, it never works again.

I wish I was a better artist.

[PosthumanHeresy]

Granted. You're kidnapped to make perfect forgeries as a slave.

I wish I had hair that went to my knees.