Wishes Will Be Corrupted

[ironbite]

Granted they start blaming you.

Ironbite-I wish for 1 fish, 2 fish, red fish, blue fish.

[Ghoti]

Granted. They appear in your lungs. You die quickly and painfully.

I wish I could have unlimited vibrators.

[Random Gal]

Granted, the huge number of vibrating objects causes an earthquake that destroys your house.

I wish Ironbite would stop wishing for fish.

[Flying Mint Bunny!]

Granted. I start wishing for fishes instead.

I wish for a tin of salmon.

[Art Vandelay]

Granted, it's more rancid than an average can of surstromming.

I wish for some corn chips.

[R. U. Sirius]

Granted. They're stale and moldy.

I wish to perfect a teleporter that functions over any distance and doesn't cause a negative interaction between the arriving matter and the matter already present at the exit point.

[Indikins]

Granted. However, luddites break into your lab, destroy all your notes, designs, backups, etc., and smash your teleporter apart in front of you. They then kill you in an attempt to suppress your knowledge forever.

I wish to become a giant robot with laser beam cannons.

[Art Vandelay]

Granted, you run on a single AAA battery, and as such can barely maintain even a vague level of awareness, much less move about and power all those fun toys. That and when the battery does run out, nobody is the least bit interested in changing it for you.

I wish the dog wasn't such a fussy eater.

[R. U. Sirius]

Granted. He eats everything in your house, including you, and even the house itself.

I wish "Star Trek" was real.

[Indikins]

Granted. However, the current time does not change, and first contact with aliens does not occur until the year 2063.

I wish to become the best fiction writer in the world.

[I am lizard]

Granted. However, the current time does not change, and first contact with aliens does not occur until the year 2063.

I wish to become the best fiction writer in the world.

Granted, you are now are unable to breathhave schizophrenia.

I wish that this wish will not be corrupted.

[Sigmaleph]

Granted. For unrelated reasons, a dog pisses on your leg.

I wish I could capture one of the lizards in my garden and raise it to be my best friend.

[R. U. Sirius]

Granted. It falls in love with you and tries to mate.

I wish for a functional Portal gun.

[Ghoti]

Granted. You break both legs after falling from a great high without the long-fall boots.

I wish I had a penis.

[I am lizard]

You now have a penis in your throat, you soon die of asphyxiation.

I wish this wish will be badly corrupted.