Wishes Will Be Corrupted

[Second Coming of Madman]

You are now the chief maker of chainmail lingerie.

I wish for a badass sword covered with runes capable of killing jackass genies who fuck up wishes.

[R. U. Sirius]

I am okay with this.

Also, you have the sword, but it's a prosthetic where your penis used to be.

I wish for a klingon mek'leth that's properly built for combat.

[ironbite]

Granted.  It's a prosthetic where your anus was.

Ironbite-I wish for fish!

[Svata]

Granted. You get crushed by the giant mackerel that falls from the sky as a result of you wish.

I wish for eveything that I lost or had stolen from me to reappear in my bedroom right now, in the condition it was in hen it got lost/stolen.

[R. U. Sirius]

Granted. You can no longer get into your bedroom due to the amount of stuff.

I wish for a personal soundtrack to play wherever I go.

[Sigmaleph]

Granted. It's the Spongebob Squarepants theme song.

I wish I had an Animorphs-style morphing cube.

[Random Gal]

Granted. After briefly setting it on the ground, a bunch of ants crawl over it. They and the rest of their colony morph into giant ant-men and overrun humanity.

I wish to become a god.

[Second Coming of Madman]

You are now the god of Antmen who are doomed to extinction.

I wish to be the lizard-queen of Eriador, land of the rainbow fishes and lizards who can't have kings.

[Sigmaleph]

I'm pretty sure Eriador was a region of Middle Earth. More Hobbits than lizards there.

Anyway, granted. You are now a lizard-queen. Since lizards don't have the brainpower to understand abstract concepts like "monarchy", nobody cares.

I wish to know the True Name of all things.

[Zygarde]

Granted but the knowledge is too powerful and you drive yourself mad.


I wish I could get some more sleep.

[I am lizard]

Anyway, granted. You are now a lizard-queen. Since lizards don't have the brainpower to understand abstract concepts like "monarchy", nobody cares.

Fuck you.

[R. U. Sirius]

Granted but the knowledge is too powerful and you drive yourself mad.


I wish I could get some more sleep.

Granted. You're in a coma.

I wish for the ability to teleport, adjusting automatically for my target area's movement through space and with a mechanism that pushed aside any matter already in said area to prevent the whole problem of two masses occupying the same space.

[I am lizard]

That's to complicated to corrupt so how about i just make your eyeballs rupture and we'll count it even.

[Random Gal]

Granted. You get NOTHING! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY, SIR!

I wish Lizard had made a wish.

[R. U. Sirius]

Granted. He wished to take your anal virginity and it was granted without corruption.

I wish my building allowed pets and I could afford one.