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Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 383384 times)

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Offline guizonde

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2610 on: September 03, 2015, 01:56:26 pm »
granted, complete with accompanying orchidectomy.

i wish for a mortadella sandwich.
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Quote from: niam2023 on September 13, 2015, 07:07:00 pm
@ guizonde: I think I like the way you think.
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Even Then

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2611 on: September 03, 2015, 02:09:04 pm »
(Eh, no testicular cancer at least. And I'm not gonna have babies anyways.)

Granted. The mortadella is dry.

I wish I could change my hair colour to any colour at will.
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Offline Zygarde

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2612 on: September 03, 2015, 04:46:32 pm »
Granted but each change makes you half a centimeter shorter.


I wish I could meet Morrissey.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2613 on: September 03, 2015, 04:47:39 pm »
Granted, but you're completely paralyzed and can only communicate through Morse code eye blinks.

I wish God was one of us, just a slob like one of us, just a stranger on the bus, trying to make his way home.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2614 on: September 03, 2015, 10:00:28 pm »
Granted. He also has terrible hygiene, cracks off some of the eggiest farts you've ever inhaled, and yells at any pigeon he sees (suddenly, the bible makes a hell of a lot more sense).

I wish for a single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man's hat.
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Offline rookie

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2615 on: September 04, 2015, 11:47:41 am »
Granted. But now you're stuck at Moe's with all the regulars.

I wish my wishes were immune from corruption.
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The difference between 0 and 1 is infinite. The difference between 1 and a million is a matter of degree. - Zack Johnson

Quote from: davedan board=pg thread=6573 post=218058 time=1286247542
I'll stop eating beef lamb and pork the same day they start letting me eat vegetarians.

Offline Sigmaleph

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2616 on: September 04, 2015, 04:11:16 pm »
Granted, you can no longer make wishes.

I wish my phone worked properly.
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Offline guizonde

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2617 on: September 07, 2015, 06:40:25 am »
granted, but everything's written in japanese now.

i wish i had a job again.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2618 on: September 07, 2015, 09:33:04 am »
Granted. You work as a delivery driver for Jimmy John's (believe me, you don't want to) in the rudest, stingiest city in America.

I wish I had a job that got national holidays off, with pay.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Random Gal

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2619 on: September 07, 2015, 05:37:25 pm »
Granted. The job involves cleaning toilets with your tongue.

I wish my life didn't suck.
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Offline guizonde

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2620 on: September 07, 2015, 06:18:45 pm »
granted. it blows.

i wish for a tornado to hit bumfuckistan.
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Quote from: niam2023 on September 13, 2015, 07:07:00 pm
@ guizonde: I think I like the way you think.
Quote from: Svata on September 26, 2015, 04:38:34 am
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0_o 0_0 ¯\(º_o)/¯

Even Then

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2621 on: September 12, 2015, 04:49:25 pm »
Granted, it's now hitting wherever you live.

I wish I could get a novel published.
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Offline guizonde

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2622 on: September 12, 2015, 05:14:14 pm »
Quote from: Even Then on September 12, 2015, 04:49:25 pm
Granted, it's now hitting wherever you live.

I wish I could get a novel published.

granted. it's titled "1001 ways to enjoy kiddie porn".

i wish i hadn't said that.
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Quote from: niam2023 on September 13, 2015, 07:07:00 pm
@ guizonde: I think I like the way you think.
Quote from: Svata on September 26, 2015, 04:38:34 am
Warning: Biohazardously Awesome


0_o 0_0 ¯\(º_o)/¯

Even Then

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2623 on: September 12, 2015, 05:19:47 pm »
Granted. You still wrote it, though, so you accomplished jack and shit.

I wish to unsee that mental image.
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Offline rookie

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2624 on: September 13, 2015, 11:12:27 am »
Granted. Now you've the image of Kim Davis and Donald Trump in cool cool satin sheets.

I wish I for something very good today.
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The difference between 0 and 1 is infinite. The difference between 1 and a million is a matter of degree. - Zack Johnson

Quote from: davedan board=pg thread=6573 post=218058 time=1286247542
I'll stop eating beef lamb and pork the same day they start letting me eat vegetarians.
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