For an example of a positive female lead in gaming, I think I'd go with Terra from Final Fantasy 6. No, she's not a strong, tsundere badass, but that's the point. That a female character can still be decidedly feminine yet avoid being relegated to an "object" status.
Terra starts the game very meek and unsure of herself and is more or less the McGuffin of the first act. Most of the male characters rally around her to White Knight her, and all they get from it is her appreciation. And they're fine with that. The game revolves around her growing more confident in herself and finding her place in the world, rather than stunting her character development by attaching her to a man and deferring all the difficult decisions to him. She finally finds some orphaned children who giver her purpose and confidence, and through her own will becomes more powerful in order to protect them.
So, I don't think the problem is that women need to be depicted as stronger in games, they simply need to be depicted as people rather than accessories. I don't mind if they're weak, timid, and pretty as long as they have strong characterization and motives backing them up. They can love a male character so long as that love doesn't cause them to lose their self-identity.