So, the top of your list is diversity training. Newsflash, fuckface, people are different. You may not like it, and I appreciate your candor in the matter, but your myopic world view is no excuse for being a dick. Deal with it. If you'd had some decent diversity training, maybe you'd realize that gay marriage will have no effect on you whatsoever. I know, it's hard to believe! But there ARE gay people in the world, and apart from your bullshit religion inspired self righteousness, it hasn't really affected you. So get over it. You're going to lose this one. Please, by all means, cry about it. Abortion on demand appears to be next. Just say abortion, you cock vomit. I will tell you that no liberal is pro-abortion. We just happen to realize that sometimes it's the best solution for all involved parties, and it's practically never an easy choice. Though for the record, I wish you had been aborted, because you're a hateful assgoblin. Next is gun control... oh, what the fuck ever, you tin foil hat wearing sister rapist. Liberal politicians have done fuck all about your guns, so shut the fuck up about it. Environmental wackos... Nothing I have to say on this will register in your empty fucking skull, because you don't get that WE'RE WRECKING THE ONLY HOME WE HAVE! You may be suicidal on a global level, but we aren't. Do the world a favor and hurl yourself off a cliff. You'll be more productive in death as fertilizer than you ever were in life, you fucking stain.
The next few are a different category of stupid. You think anti-war protestors are the bad guys? Tell you what, fucko, the next time there's a war that absolutely 100% NEEDS to be fought, I'll be behind it. But Iraq was bullshit, and I was fucking proud to march against it. And we need to get the fuck out of Afghanistan. There's no point to us being there anymore. Deal with it. The next two will be bunched together because they're equally nonsensical. The UN and France are the result of liberals? Really? Do I even need to explain how blatantly fucking stupid of a statement that is? For fuck's sake... You do realize that without France, we'd still be British, right? I mean, do you understand history at all? Jesus knocked up Christ. Seriously, are you brain damaged? That's not meant to be an insult, I'm seriously curious. Oh, and then illegal aliens... It's not like the existence of liberals is some sort of catalyst that causes people to spontaneously want to come here. Then again, when faced with the idea of coming to a country populated completely by racist sheep rapists, they might think twice. So you may have a point there. The liberals counter the racist sheep rapists a bit, and make the country a more attractive place.
And now we jump to the NEA. Seriously? Get the fuck over it. It's 140 million dollars a year. It's what the DoD spends in two hours, except it's more pleasant. Culture is good. You should try to expose yourself to some. Read some Shakespeare, go to an art gallery, watch a foreign movie, which leads us into multiculturalism. THERE ARE OTHER CULTURES! Fucking get over it or remove yourself from the mortal coil, you racist fuck.
The next few are so ridiculous they aren't even worth my time... Suffice it to say that what has been dubbed as "New Age" is a combination of ideas and beliefs that pre-date Christianity by several thousand years. So, tax increases... because no conservative has ever increased taxes. Ever. Right. History ignoring shit licker. Just like no conservative has ever had a body piercing. Or enjoyed the work of a Hollywood celebrity. Holy fuck, you're dumber than a crumpled up piece of paper. You then go on to list specific Hollywood celebrities... I'm just going to say that I'll take Michael Moore over Dinesh D'Souza, Rosie over Rush, and Barbara Streisand over Kid Rock 11 times out of 10.
Back to the environment? You're running out of bullshit to vomit up aren't you? Greenpeace and the Sierra Club are somehow worse than the people polluting the water you drink and the air you breathe? I'm not even joking when I ask you to find the sharpest object you can, and stab it through your eye and into your brain. Best case scenario, it kills you. Worst case scenario, some bacteria on whatever it is you stab into your skull makes you more intelligent. There's no middle ground really, because even single celled organisms are smarter than you.
You're really going to villainize the AARP? Ok, whatever... You're fucking deranged. And Amnesty International, a charity set up to help people, is somehow a bad guy? Because why the fuck not, right? The ACLU was created to fight for equal rights for everyone, you shitwitted cum guzzler. Fuck, I fucking hate you. Anyone who knows me well will tell you that I'm generally a caring, loving, individual. I've even been called sweet lately. But you don't deserve the slightest modicum of concern. You're worthy of nothing but my loathing and contempt, even though despising someone as vile as you causes me no small measure of pain.
San Fransisco is awesome. Fuck you.
Hybrid automobiles are good. They balance out your need to drive your Chevy Brachiosaurus the fifty feet from McDonalds to 7-11. I'm going to ignore your next few because they're inane and meaningless coming from someone like you, and we're going to skip right to Planned Parenthood. 3% of the services they provide are abortions. 97% aren't. Fuck you. Rock the Vote is a non partisan organization trying to increase the number of young voices. It's not their fault that the human brain is evolving and today's young voters are realizing that caring about their fellow human beings is a very liberal thing to do. Next is... what the fuck? MTV? Are you fucking serious? What is this, 1985? Does anyone even watch MTV anymore? You're so out of touch it's hilarious. And Ted Kennedy is dead, may he rest in peace. Has been for a while now, and the world is a darker place for it. He fucked up a fair amount early in life, but he was a stand up guy. And you should be ashamed of yourself for speaking ill of the dead. Your punishment is me telling you that St. Reagan committed the cardinal liberal sin of raising taxes. Repeatedly. True story. Fuck you.
In closing, let me paint you a picture of a world without conservatives. It's a world without hate. Without bigotry. Where everyone cares about the well being of everyone else, no matter where they're from, what they believe, or who they love. It's that simple. No need for lists. No need for bullshit. That's all there is to it. And because of how simple it would be, I feel sorry for you. You're so willing to cut off your nose to spite your face that you don't realize the effect it has on you. Your hatred scares me. So I'm going to go. I'm going to tell the people I love how much they mean to me. Because the people that you try to marginalize, I will forever champion. I will fight for everyone you fight against. And the best part? You've already lost. You just don't know it yet. And for that, I pity you.
