Dumb Things You Believed as a Kid

[Captain Jack Harkness]

I used to think there was some sort of audience watching my life, ala Truman Show.  I blame Garfield comics constantly breaking the 4th wall for this.

My sister once told me that gum is made from cow guts, which I somehow believed for a while.  Oh, and she told me while I was chewing gum.  The thing is, this didn't cause me to spit it out (although we were travelling in my parent's van at the time IIRC, and I didn't have easy access to a means to spit it out.

I seem to remember some bizarre memory of milk having like...trigger thingies on the handles?  Maybe it was just some sort of bizarre dream, but I'm not really sure how my mind came to that conclusion.

[Smurfette Principle]

Let's see:

• I used to believe babies just spontaneously grew when you got old enough, and just like how some people have growth spurts early and some have them late and some never get a growth spurt at all, babies were the same way. I got very upset when women in stories were kicked out or attacked because they had children out of wedlock, because (as I told my mom indignantly), "It's not her fault!"
• On a similar note, I used to think that God gave babies a daddy's DNA because (scientific brain told me) they stood next to each other long enough for something to pass between them (imagination made it either some sort of golden light or some sort of pheromone).
• I also used to think that praying made you actually talk to God and God actually talked back. I was very disappointed that no, God would not actually speak to me in a booming God Voice.

[R. U. Sirius]

I believed in Santa Claus until I was 12.

...13. 

I sometimes believed that if your car and another car going the opposite direction passed between two light poles at the same time, the poles would slam together and squash the two cars together.

[The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist]

Another couple things:

- My dad was originally born in England, so when I was a little kid, I assumed that all of his various mannerisms were just the "British way" of doing things. For instance, anytime he'd get into the car, he'd use his elbow to push down the lock (back in the days of manual locks mounted near the window) rather than using his hands, to which I'd ask, "Is that the British way of locking car doors?"

- Before either of us could read, my parents told my brother and I that there was a store called "Tools r Us" which had a near-identical logo to Toys r Us, to prevent us from whining at them to take us inside whenever we passed one of their stores. They stopped using the ploy once I was old enough to learn how to read, but for the longest time, I still believed that this Tools r Us chain existed, and wondered why we never seemed to pass by one anymore.

[shykid]

When I was a little kid, I thought that old movies, pictures, and TV Shows were in black and white because that was before color was "invented." (I have no idea how I came up with that. Nobody told me. I just assumed it because it made "perfect sense.") When I told my dad, he said that it was color cameras and film that were were invented, but I didn't think this was incompatible with my idea at all: obviously, color cameras and film were invented because color was invented, otherwise they would have been invented with color to start with. Duh.

[Hades]

When I was a little kid, I thought that old movies, pictures, and TV Shows were in black and white because that was before color was "invented." (I have no idea how I came up with that. Nobody told me. I just assumed it because it made "perfect sense.") When I told my dad, he said that it was color cameras and film that were were invented, but I didn't think this was incompatible with my idea at all: obviously, color cameras and film were invented because color was invented, otherwise they would have been invented with color to start with. Duh.

I'm glad you were born after color was invented. A grey rainbow is no kind of rainbow.

[JohnE]

When I was real little, I thought turn signals were giving the driver directions.

And like IB, I wondered if there was a stack of tiny animation slides inside a video game cartridge.

[Witchyjoshy]

When I was real little, I thought turn signals were giving the driver directions.

And like IB, I wondered if there was a stack of tiny animation slides inside a video game cartridge.

Wait, my name is Ironbite now?

[ironbite]

Was about to say....

-when I was little I thought that electricity traveled through rivers in the power lines and that if the line was snapped, all the electricity would puddle into the ground and run out.

-same with street lights and if you drove fast enough, you could beat the red light to the next light.

Ironbite-kinda weird.

[Patches]

When I was a little kid, I thought that old movies, pictures, and TV Shows were in black and white because that was before color was "invented." (I have no idea how I came up with that. Nobody told me. I just assumed it because it made "perfect sense.") When I told my dad, he said that it was color cameras and film that were were invented, but I didn't think this was incompatible with my idea at all: obviously, color cameras and film were invented because color was invented, otherwise they would have been invented with color to start with. Duh.

My sister once realized that an instrumental song means that the people died before they could write the words.

[Osama bin Bambi]

I believed that vaccines were dangerous and ineffective, that 9/11 was an inside job, and that "alternative medicine" was scientifically supported.

[SpaceProg]

I didn't believe the inside job bit about 9/11, but I did go through a homeo/naturopathic kick.  Good thing I wised up about that.  I still think there's some benefit in some things, but not enough to forsake modern science, heh.

[JohnE]

When I was real little, I thought turn signals were giving the driver directions.

And like IB, I wondered if there was a stack of tiny animation slides inside a video game cartridge.

Wait, my name is Ironbite now?

Ack! My bad. Sorry.

[RavynousHunter]

I used to think Germany was an island off the east coast.

[Hades]

I remember Bugs Bunny mention that he was going on a vacation to Miami, and I thought he was saying "My ammy". I thought an ammy was a place you go on vacation to, and everyone had one. I wondered if I had an ammy, where it was.