Worst of Social Justice

[Ghoti]

uh, wow. much rage, such whaarbargl.

i guess some people are too attached to labels?

also, arophobic? like hates aromantic people? more like "who gives a flying whisky dick".

Oh no, someone's making fun of people who (*gasp*) are different and special because they don't date! Well, some of them date, but they call it something else! This is clearly the biggest and most important issue facing the lgbt+ community right now!

[mellenORL]

I just want to avoid drama without saying or implying the pissant was right. Normally I'd relish the chance to stir shit up, but I don't think this is worth the time. I'm probably just going to delete the post and issue a fauxpology to the offended party.

Update:

Seriously don't tell them who you are, so they can gang up on you with their widdle friends. This 'Trina (can't be arsed to spell it out fully) is as fond and doting of the label they made up as a hawk of her just-laid egg. Hence all the hissing and flapping.

[Damen]

Okay, seriously, I just don't get this anymore. Maybe I'm showing my age or maybe its the fact that I'm not on tumblr, but I just don't understand what the hell is going through these kids' minds. What is this revulsion that borders on phobia of being fine with "normal", "average", "cis" or what-have-you? Why must everything be given some fuckstupid label just to be anything but what is considered the norm, even if what they're trying to make sound unique is completely fucking normal?

Just want to go hang out with someone, maybe catch a movie and have a late lunch to chat? Nope, that's not being friends; that's now "queerplatonic." Don't have an overwhelming urge to fuck someone the second you meet them and it might take a while before you want to bump uglies? Nope, you're not being an adult; you're now "demisexual." Think I-loved-you-since-the-first-time-I-saw-you is fucking retarded and you might want to get to know someone and see if a friendship develops before you try anything more serious? Nope, you're not wanting to go slow and avoid jumping into a relationship before either of you are ready; you're now "demiromantic." Feel fine enough being alone that you don't have a screaming need for an intimate relationship? Nope, you're not an adult who's just fine being alone; you're "aromantic." You're not just a walking hormone that wants to fuck anything upright but still like to have an orgasm or two every once in a while and hope those orgasms are with another person if possible? Nope, you're not an adult who isn't defined by how often they fuck, you're "asexual."

If it were up to tumblr, I would be a "Demisexual, demiromantic asexual who's in a queerplatonic relationship." But because I get to pick a label, I'm a "grown-ass man who enjoys the company of friends."

[Ironchew]

You don't win a gold medal in the Oppression Olympics if you don't have a special snowflake label.

Tumblrinas have a deep-seated fear of being unremarkable.

[Ghoti]

Update: I "look[ed] the fuck up what queerplatonic means" and it's literally just "super duper strong friendship" which already has a name (Platonic Life Partners) and guess what? This term doesn't have the word "queer" in it! And it's straightforward as hell, so no one has to suffer the embarrassment of saying "queerplatonic" out loud! Ugh, what is it with these people and "queer"?

[Sigmaleph]

Okay, seriously, I just don't get this anymore. Maybe I'm showing my age or maybe its the fact that I'm not on tumblr, but I just don't understand what the hell is going through these kids' minds. What is this revulsion that borders on phobia of being fine with "normal", "average", "cis" or what-have-you? Why must everything be given some fuckstupid label just to be anything but what is considered the norm, even if what they're trying to make sound unique is completely fucking normal?

Just want to go hang out with someone, maybe catch a movie and have a late lunch to chat? Nope, that's not being friends; that's now "queerplatonic." Don't have an overwhelming urge to fuck someone the second you meet them and it might take a while before you want to bump uglies? Nope, you're not being an adult; you're now "demisexual." Think I-loved-you-since-the-first-time-I-saw-you is fucking retarded and you might want to get to know someone and see if a friendship develops before you try anything more serious? Nope, you're not wanting to go slow and avoid jumping into a relationship before either of you are ready; you're now "demiromantic." Feel fine enough being alone that you don't have a screaming need for an intimate relationship? Nope, you're not an adult who's just fine being alone; you're "aromantic." You're not just a walking hormone that wants to fuck anything upright but still like to have an orgasm or two every once in a while and hope those orgasms are with another person if possible? Nope, you're not an adult who isn't defined by how often they fuck, you're "asexual."

If it were up to tumblr, I would be a "Demisexual, demiromantic asexual who's in a queerplatonic relationship." But because I get to pick a label, I'm a "grown-ass man who enjoys the company of friends."

So here's the thing I don't get.

Who cares if the people who are calling themselves demisexual or whatever would call themselves something else, or nothing at all, outside their subculture?

Why is having more words for things wrong? Is it the implied 'specialness' that you object to?

(not touching the friendship vs. platonic relationship thing because that's the specific claim that they are two different things)

[Damen]

Its bothersome for me to see people so dissatisfied with their lives that they have to make things up for manufactured uniqueness by hijacking LGBT+ terms and then become so violently attached to this label that they will lash out at those who would challenge it; and then isolate themselves from dissenting opinion when confronted with someone who would dare to tell them that what they think is unique really isn't.

It goes without saying that this mindset is not a healthy one to have.

[Sigmaleph]

You're making something of a package bundle there. It's one thing to come up with a word for yourself, another why you do it, another how you react when people disagree with you about it, another whether you claim it's unique or not.

And I don't think this bundle is justified. Most of these people are not more dissatisfied with their lives than the average teenager (being that they often are, in fact, the average teenager) and they find a way to understand themselves through a community that likes to go into fine-grained-distinctions over gender sexuality. Some grow out of it, some simply adopt it as a useful descriptor, some become attached to it. Some do it to feel unique, others just think it's one more thing about them. Some do think it's a civil-rights struggle like LGBT stuff, most don't. Some react angrily to outsiders challenging them, which is a shame and one of the things I most dislike about SJ/non-SJ interactions, others don't.

And at the bottom of it, the label is not the problem. The thing you object to is the attitude some people take towards the label.  Which, y'know, yes, it's very much worth objecting to, but it's not the same thing. And I kind of grow tired when that criticism is reduced to "haha they called themselves demi", because it's criticising the wrong thing.


Ungoddammit, I'm ranting again aren't I. Sorry, I'll try to keep off this thread for a while.

[Even Then]

so for anyone who doesn't feel like slogging through Ghoti, Art Vandelay, guizonde, mellenORL, Damen and Ironchew's self-righteous circle wank right now, allow me to summarize:

- "it's okay to mock and delegitimize sexual identities and such as long as they're outlandish enough for our limited sensibilities! but fuck homophobia and transphobia though! mom, what's hypocrisy?"
- "why do shades of blue need to be named when the word 'blue' already exists? 'turquoise'? 'maroon'? 'light blue'? 'dark blue'? what is this special snowflake bullshit"
- "these people making new terms for themselves to express their identities, feelings and experiences means that they're trying to force me to apply those terms to my identity, feelings and experiences! rabble rabble dey took our jerbs!"
- "what do you mean every human being experiences sexuality, romance and gender differently because every brain and every life is unique, you're just being sheltered tumblrinas who won't accept me telling them they're wrong and delusional and faking it"
- "those darn asexuals and aromantics are appropriating queerness by existing and making terms for themselves! what do you mean 'queer' has been used by heteros to pretty much refer to everything that's non-hetero because heteronormativity and asexual people have suffered corrective sexual assault specifically for being asexual to "fix" them and make them not "frigid", they're just being whiny brats and attention whores"
- "every identity that's not on my Approved List Of Identities is just people lying and being dissatisfied with themselves and their life, if I can't understand something then no human being can ever really experience it"
- "in a society that plays up sex and romance as the be-all and end-all and considered to be a given thing for humans to experience, people who aren't interested in sex or romance are definitely not dehumanized at all, no siree bob, nope, never"
- there's probably some other bullshit buried here that I missed, but fuck it I'm tired

I trusted you people. I liked you. I respected you. I felt like I could really be honest with all of you here, and connect with you on a real and earnest level even if I happened to disagree with your stances. I felt like I was respected. (None of this applies to you, Ironchew, by the way. You went straight to my 'ignore' list after that bullshit you pulled at me, you know what I mean.) But if this is what you get to when I least expect it, tossing around my experiences and my soul as just another lolcow tumblrina sjw special snowflake joke, then I just can't trust or respect any of you anymore. I refuse to.

Fuck all of you. Sitting on your high horses, claiming that you're better and more enlightened than the fundies and the conservatives, but then turning around and doing this shit. I'm done with you all.

[Ironchew]

Yeah, we have this thread called "Worst of Social Justice". I'm surprised it took you this long to notice it.

[Ghoti]

so for anyone who doesn't feel like slogging through Ghoti, Art Vandelay, guizonde, mellenORL, Damen and Ironchew's self-righteous circle wank right now, allow me to summarize:

- "it's okay to mock and delegitimize sexual identities and such as long as they're outlandish enough for our limited sensibilities! but fuck homophobia and transphobia though! mom, what's hypocrisy?"
- "why do shades of blue need to be named when the word 'blue' already exists? 'turquoise'? 'maroon'? 'light blue'? 'dark blue'? what is this special snowflake bullshit"
- "these people making new terms for themselves to express their identities, feelings and experiences means that they're trying to force me to apply those terms to my identity, feelings and experiences! rabble rabble dey took our jerbs!"
- "what do you mean every human being experiences sexuality, romance and gender differently because every brain and every life is unique, you're just being sheltered tumblrinas who won't accept me telling them they're wrong and delusional and faking it"
- "those darn asexuals and aromantics are appropriating queerness by existing and making terms for themselves! what do you mean 'queer' has been used by heteros to pretty much refer to everything that's non-hetero because heteronormativity and asexual people have suffered corrective sexual assault specifically for being asexual to "fix" them and make them not "frigid", they're just being whiny brats and attention whores"
- "every identity that's not on my Approved List Of Identities is just people lying and being dissatisfied with themselves and their life, if I can't understand something then no human being can ever really experience it"
- "in a society that plays up sex and romance as the be-all and end-all and considered to be a given thing for humans to experience, people who aren't interested in sex or romance are definitely not dehumanized at all, no siree bob, nope, never"
- there's probably some other bullshit buried here that I missed, but fuck it I'm tired

I trusted you people. I liked you. I respected you. I felt like I could really be honest with all of you here, and connect with you on a real and earnest level even if I happened to disagree with your stances. I felt like I was respected. (None of this applies to you, Ironchew, by the way. You went straight to my 'ignore' list after that bullshit you pulled at me, you know what I mean.) But if this is what you get to when I least expect it, tossing around my experiences and my soul as just another lolcow tumblrina sjw special snowflake joke, then I just can't trust or respect any of you anymore. I refuse to.

Fuck all of you. Sitting on your high horses, claiming that you're better and more enlightened than the fundies and the conservatives, but then turning around and doing this shit. I'm done with you all.

[ironbite]

[Sleepy]

Um. It's gonna be okay?

[Ironchew]

My brain is wired for macrogrammodissocioamory, which means I get off to reading lengthy written statements of intent to leave a forum.

I'm glad to see someone else understands my plight.

[Ghoti]

My brain is wired for macrogrammodissocioamory, which means I get off to reading lengthy written statements of intent to leave a forum.

I'm glad to see someone else understands my plight.

Man, he's only been here a month and already he's stomping off. They don't make white knights like they used to.