I have a few thoughts I'd like to share with the group. Most of this is just my personal beliefs, so feel free to disagree.
First of all, I have always felt Daddy isn't just a title I got at the hospital when Mrs. Rookie gave birth to a child. It's a very demanding 24/7 job that I will be doing until eventually I keel over (or even beyond if I do it right). You have to work at being a good parent every day, just sharing (or providing) a roof isn't enough. And the job starts a few months before birth. You can't be distant and then years later decide you want to be Daddy and respected and all.
I don't spank. I was spanked as a child a few times, but I don't spank mine for a few reasons. First and foremost, I believe my hands should be about love and not anger. Second, I think I am doing a pretty good job without spanking because my kids (all five of them when you adjust for ages) are pretty well behaved. When they do good, I praise them. Actually, I praise them in front of other siblings and grown-ups. Things they do wrong, I'll pull them aside and explain what it was and why. I don't spank but I do punish. The offending child might have to sit in a chair and watch the other siblings play. I've donated toys that weren't cleaned up. Things like that. It comes from taking the time to get to know the kids individually, learning what motivates them and what they respond to.
Something I realized quickly was not every hill is worth dying for. My kids, all, five of them, are different. They are different from me, Mrs. Rookie, and from each other. Each has their own unique tastes, likes, dislikes, well you know. I learned that sometimes you just have to let them be them. They have that freedom. And I've found that because they have age appropriate control over a decent portion of their day, they are a lot more willing to follow the rules. My three year old wants to go around the house in a swimsuit, leggings, tutu, and fairy wings. Whatever. But she knows she's changing before we go anywhere.
People brought up a smack on a bum or slap on a wrist to stop harmful behavior (running into the street, going after a hot pan on the stove). I think you really can't compare that to spanking. Spanking is a punishment for past behavior. The swat or slap is almost a gut reaction to prevent future behavior. The times I have slapped my kids' hands away from electrical outlets or hot stoves, I did it before I realized I did it. It was about moving the hand away from danger as quickly as possible rather than punishing.
But anyways, I do these things and more in the hopes that if I did (am doing) my job right, I won't be in this position later in life. That my kids will know what is acceptable behavior and where the line is. And, just as importantly, why the line is there inthe first place.