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I'll stop eating beef lamb and pork the same day they start letting me eat vegetarians.
There are very few problems that cannot be solved with a good taint punching.
Pardon the interruption, good sir/lady; there are aspects of your behavior that I find quite unbecoming, and I must insist most strenuously that I be permitted to assist in resolving these behaviors through the repeated high-velocity cranial introduction of particularly firm building materials.
GIVE ME KNOWLEDGE OR I WILL PUT A CAP IN YO ASS!
The logical response to getting that tingle in his dingle is turning into an asshat, of course.