Vending Machine

[Random Gal]

The machine displays a "loading...please wait" screen for the next ten minutes before spontaneously crashing and printing out a Blue Screen of Death.

I insert an AR-15 with a 30-round magazine and a pistol grip, with the words "ASSAULT RIFLE!" written on it in White Out.

[R. U. Sirius]

You get a note from the NRA saying, "Guns don't assault people, poopyhead!"

I insert the NRA.

[Julian]

You get armed, geriatric, malelovent, misanthropic pus-bags on mobility scooters. Dalek Mk I's. The one's that couldn't levitate...

I insert a phone box and a David Hasselhoff gif collection.

[R. U. Sirius]

You get the Doctor going, "WTF?"

I insert the Doctor.

[Indikins]

You get a Timey Wimey Ball!

I insert Starscream the Transformer.

[R. U. Sirius]

You get a whiny bitch who somehow thinks he should be in charge. You know...George W. Bush.

I insert nothingness.

[Indikins]

You get a fundie's brain.

I insert primal fear.

[R. U. Sirius]

You get fundie fuel.

I insert Heather Dale.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjqm4r6EbuE" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjqm4r6EbuE</a>

[Indikins]

You get Two Steps From Hell.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGyAqbezgZU

I insert the soul of a fan of Justin Bieber.

[R. U. Sirius]

You get a horcrux.

I insert a horcrux.

[Indikins]

You get the Boy Who Lived.

I insert a Mary Sue.

[Saturn500]

You get a Na'Vi.

I insert a bear.

[R. U. Sirius]

You get a fat, hairy gay dude with a stalker-level crush on you.

I insert a catgirl.

[Julian]

You get some soggy infantile love letters from Bruce Wayne and some Z grade fan-fic...

I insert Tom Cruise, any FHM's hottest 100 list and a legal age of marriage by state guide.

[rookie]

You get 100 sad new Scientologists.

I insert a statue of the Roman god Zeus.