FSTDT Forums
Rubbish => Preaching and Worship => Topic started by: Joey on January 08, 2012, 11:16:31 pm
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This is my challenge to all fundamentalist Christians, who believe the Bible is the inerrant, infallible, literal Word of God. Want to convert me to fundamentalist Christianity? All you have to do is prove the veracity of the following verse in the Bible:
Mark 16:17-18: "And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; they shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover."
According to this passage, anyone who "believes" will be able to drink any deadly poison and not be harmed. You can prove this is true by doing the following:
Upload a video on YouTube of you opening a new, un-opened bottle of Drano (or other brand of drain cleaner with a basic pH) and drinking the contents, with the bottle in view the whole time. If it appears legit then I will contact you to come perform the same feat in person, this time using a bottle provided by me. If you can do this successfully then I will convert to fundamentalist evangelical Christianity.
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Try over here (http://www.rr-bb.com/) instead.
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Try over here (http://www.rr-bb.com/) instead.
I've been banned from there... but I know they lurk here sometimes. I'm sure many fundies will see it.
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Try over here (http://www.rr-bb.com/) instead.
I've been banned from there... but I know they lurk here sometimes. I'm sure many fundies will see it.
I imagine they're still lurking the old boards for now.
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Fundies are impervious to logic and facts.
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Sounds like a good way to get arrested.
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I doubt they'd actually attempt anything like that. More than likely they'd spend four hours telling you how you've completely misinterpreted the above passage.
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Hey, unlike the whole “Thou shalt not test God†thing, this one actually calls out drinking poison as a sign to others.
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That is a good verse to challenge them on. Oh, and if they do try "don't test the Lord," well, you're just being like Doubting Thomas who, after getting verification, was still okay (though I've often heard he got a lesser position in heaven, but it was still in heaven).
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Not that I actually expect any fundie to poison themselves to prove a point to a stranger on the internet, but don't we have a rule against telling people to commit suicide?
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We do, which is why I've been pondering giving a warning for posting this thread.
[modhat==on] Please refrain from telling people to go and do something dangerous like this to test their faith. Especially when you know what harm it can do. We have strict rules about telling people to go off themselves and this is equivalent to it. Regardless of whether anyone you're addressing can see it.[modhat==off]
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Seems rather strained to me. It's clearly a rhetorical device.
Either way, the proposal can easily be rectified. Neither the Bible nor the forum rules specify anything about non-lethal poisons.
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Go with something mild, then. Have them get drunk on alcohol, without drinking water during that period, and see if they wake up with a headache. If they do it obviously didn't work, as alcohol causes dehydration, which is harming them. Come to think of it, them getting drunk is also because of the harm of alcohol, so if they can get drunk it obviously doesn't work.
Oh, and they can't say it's not deadly, either, as people can die from alcohol poisoning (and they don't need to get anywhere near that amount to have the point proven or disproven).
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And the fundies will go "Oh! You're just tempting me to sin! Well, that won't work, spawn of Satan!"
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I doubt they'd actually attempt anything like that. More than likely they'd spend four hours telling you how you've completely misinterpreted the above passage.
The passage seems pretty clear to me... plus aren't fundies the ones who take every part of the bible completely literally? Unless of course there is a verse that can be proven false, then suddenly "it's an allegory".
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Not that I actually expect any fundie to poison themselves to prove a point to a stranger on the internet, but don't we have a rule against telling people to commit suicide?
Yes but according to the verse it wouldn't be suicide :-)
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Does not matter. Please do not suggest such things again. Thank you.
/Mod
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You do know, don't you, that there are churches in the US, particularly in Appalachia, that are based on these verses and actually do drink poison and "take up serpents." Many have died from this practice, but their usual, expected response is, "Well, der, hate he's (she's) gone, but obviously he (she) didn't have enough faith."
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I was thinking poison ivy. Of course, the problem with poison ivy is that you can be immune. And allergic, but if I said calling the OP an invitation to suicide was a stretch, I'll be damned if I'm going to be held responsible when they're assassinated by a fucking leaf.
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You do know, don't you, that there are churches in the US, particularly in Appalachia, that are based on these verses and actually do drink poison and "take up serpents." Many have died from this practice, but their usual, expected response is, "Well, der, hate he's (she's) gone, but obviously he (she) didn't have enough faith."
I knew about snake handlers, though I hadn't hear of self-poisoners.
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You do know, don't you, that there are churches in the US, particularly in Appalachia, that are based on these verses and actually do drink poison and "take up serpents." Many have died from this practice, but their usual, expected response is, "Well, der, hate he's (she's) gone, but obviously he (she) didn't have enough faith."
I knew about snake handlers, though I hadn't hear of self-poisoners.
Oh, yeah. There's been documentaries about them. The poison takers are almost always snake handlers as well, although not all snake handlers take poison, IIRC.
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I second the idea of getting them smashed on some cheap, dime-store rotgut. Failing that, we could always see if their god saves them from having a massive trip courtesy of some fine psilocybin mushrooms...
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Also can't tell people to do anything illegal.
A rule which I blatantly broke on the old board by posting, & I quote, "Do something illegal."
I plan to up the ante on this board.
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I don’t think I ever heard of the snake handler types until I got the Whistle Down the Wind soundtrack.
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I used to be friends with a man who was a Snake Handling, poison drinking Christian/ Mulderite. For those of you who don't know what a "Mulderite" is... if you've ever watched The X Files, they believe that Fox Mulder really exists in another dimension and they follow his teachings. The hardcore Mulderites even believe it was no coincidence that David Duchovony was the one chosen by Chris Carter for the role.
Yeah, I'm open minded, but not THAT open minded...
Oh! More fun facts about this guy! He was also a member of the modern-day version of the Heaven's Gate Cult. He made a fake facebook profile and used it to stalk me for almost a full year after I had cut off ties with him. It wasn't until we started talking again in rl that he admitted what he had done. Then there was the time he pretty much faked his death to see how my family would react to the news...
That guy was a piece of work and I'm just happy he no longer has a way of contacting me.
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Also can't tell people to do anything illegal.
There are still a few bastions of freedom where psilocybin mushrooms aren't illegal. In the spirit of not telling anyone to break the law, those are the *only* places they should eat em.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legal_status_of_psilocybin_mushrooms
Brazil
In Brazil, where at least Psilocybe cubensis and Panaeolus cyanescens psychedelic mushrooms grow naturally, only psilocybin is listed, but not the fungal species themselves. The Federal Constitution says that an act must be previously stated as illegal by a law. So, psilocybian mushrooms cannot be considered illegal themselves. There are also no legal jurisprudences available on the topic. Ayahuasca religious usage is authorized, so sacramental mushroom use is expected to fall under the same protection.
I'll become a fundamentalist if someone takes me to Brazil and eats 5g dried cubensis* without tripping (as indicated by dilated pupils, can't fake that). Also, 5g for me, to *ahem*... test... whether they're real or not. All perfectly legal, of course, because it does fall under the category of religious practice :) The price of anyone's salvation SHOULD be worth any earthly price, like, oh I don't know, the price of a plane ticket to Brazil.
*perfectly safe, LD50 is something ridiculous like 500g.
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Never underestimate religion's power to hoax your pants off.
You might be able to fake dilated pupils with some sort of contact lens.
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Never underestimate religion's power to hoax your pants off.
You might be able to fake dilated pupils with some sort of contact lens.
Yeah, but if you're watching them so they can prove it to you, you'd notice them putting in contact lenses.
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You could always restrain them...claiming some kinda kinky BDSM hallucinogen-play.
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You could always restrain them...claiming some kinda kinky BDSM hallucinogen-play.
But that's of t3h d3bbi1!
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Never underestimate religion's power to hoax your pants off.
You might be able to fake dilated pupils with some sort of contact lens.
Yeah, but if you're watching them so they can prove it to you, you'd notice them putting in contact lenses.
Slight of hand!
Listen, I never said -I- was a good hoaxer, I just make it a point not to underestimate what others can come up with.
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Go with something mild, then. Have them get drunk on alcohol, without drinking water during that period, and see if they wake up with a headache. If they do it obviously didn't work, as alcohol causes dehydration, which is harming them.
Nice idea, but some people have very high tolerances. The first time I ever drank (my 21st birthday), I woke up fine the next morning. Even went to work on time with no negative effects.
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No fundie will accept this challenge because, you're not suppose to test God's laws.
Been there. Heard that.
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Welcome to FSTDT Forums. :)
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It's been awhile since I've read anything in the Bible, but didn't Gideon test God, three times? Contradiction and bullshit. But I wonder how many literally think they're eating Jesus' body and drinking his blood in communion? I know some do, like the Catholics and Orthodox, but they're also the one's to quickly point out that they believe alot of the OT is allegory. Fundies like to say they believe every word literally, and yet none of them believe that.
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It's really quite simple, one-shot. The things they agree with are meant to be taken literally, and the things they don't agree with are clearly an allegory that we just don't understand yet!