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Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 384164 times)

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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2100 on: August 30, 2013, 03:11:52 pm »
Granted, but each individual task takes three times as long as normal.

I wish logic and rhetoric were still required courses in public schools.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Lady Evil

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2101 on: August 30, 2013, 03:26:43 pm »
Granted. However, they're only available to boys. Girls may only take classes in cooking and sewing.

I wish people would call me when they say they're gonna call.
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Offline guizonde

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2102 on: August 30, 2013, 03:50:26 pm »
Quote from: PosthumanHeresy on August 30, 2013, 02:19:00 pm
Granted. It's moldy.

I wish I had less stuff to do.

granted. your mom catches you doing nothing with your life and shames you so hard you burst into flames

i wish i could remember how to speak spanish
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Offline Flying Mint Bunny!

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2103 on: September 01, 2013, 03:14:56 pm »
Granted, but it's an obscure dialect of Spanish no one speaks.

I wish never got an eyelash in my eye ever again.
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Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2104 on: September 01, 2013, 03:18:27 pm »
Quote from: Flying Mint Bunny! on September 01, 2013, 03:14:56 pm
Granted, but it's an obscure dialect of Spanish no one speaks.

I wish never got an eyelash in my eye ever again.
Granted. You have no eyes.

I wish I had more food.
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What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Quote from: SpukiKitty on August 15, 2013, 11:53:22 pm
Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline Leafy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2105 on: September 01, 2013, 03:49:53 pm »
Granted, but it's only a crumb.

I wish I wasn't so lazy.
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Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2106 on: September 01, 2013, 03:53:48 pm »
Granted. You're so busy you kill yourself over the stress.

I wish I wasn't so busy.
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What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Quote from: SpukiKitty on August 15, 2013, 11:53:22 pm
Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline Valerius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2107 on: September 01, 2013, 04:50:59 pm »
Granted. You have absolutely nothing to do, no job, no school, no events or obligations or anything, and go insane from sheer boredom.

I wish I had some haggis.
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Offline Leafy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2108 on: September 02, 2013, 08:17:35 pm »
Granted, but you can't eat them.

I wish I hadn't eaten so much breakfast.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2109 on: September 02, 2013, 11:37:39 pm »
Granted. You have no food at all.

I wish for a pet wolf, a pet lion and a pet chimpanzee, and for them all to get along and be perfectly trained to never attack anyone I don't specifically order them do.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2110 on: September 03, 2013, 12:26:47 am »
Granted. You get annoyed with them and yell out "This was a horrible idea! FUCK ME!" and they rape you to death.

I wish for my hair to get out of my eyes.
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What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Quote from: SpukiKitty on August 15, 2013, 11:53:22 pm
Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline Lady Evil

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2111 on: September 03, 2013, 05:15:22 pm »
Granted. It's now all in your ears.

I wish ice cream didn't make me fat.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2112 on: September 03, 2013, 05:36:54 pm »
Granted. It contains tapeworm eggs, so you slowly starve to death no matter how much food you eat.

I wish for sexy girls to ask me out with no effort required on my part.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Flying Mint Bunny!

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2113 on: September 03, 2013, 05:55:25 pm »
Quote from: R. U. Sirius on September 03, 2013, 05:36:54 pm
Granted. It contains tapeworm eggs, so you slowly starve to death no matter how much food you eat.

I wish for sexy girls to ask me out with no effort required on my part.

Granted, but you end up being put on the sex offenders register, because the girls are sexy by paedophile standards.

I wish my hair wasn't frizzy.
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Offline Sigmaleph

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2114 on: September 03, 2013, 09:25:18 pm »
Granted. Your hair is snakes.

I wish the answer to the titular Last Question in Asimov's The Last Question was affirmative.
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