Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 374819 times)

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Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1140 on: December 03, 2012, 09:45:23 am »
Granted, you're allergic to humans instead.

I wish my full stop key wasn't being finicky.

Offline Askold

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1141 on: December 03, 2012, 10:39:47 am »
I wish my full stop key wasn't being finicky.

Granted, now it is just pure evil all the time.

I wish I had a better job.
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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1142 on: December 03, 2012, 12:08:41 pm »
Granted. The lobotomy makes you fall in love with your job, so you never want to leave. EVER.

I wish for a pit bull puppy.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Zygarde

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1143 on: December 03, 2012, 05:37:27 pm »
Granted but when it grows up your neighbors out of fear of it kill it by mistake


I wish I  had a key that when you stick it in people it unlocks their deaths.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1144 on: December 03, 2012, 06:56:47 pm »
Granted. It's called a knife.

I wish to have all the powers of Dr. Manhattan.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1145 on: December 03, 2012, 06:59:33 pm »
Granted but your body disintegrates before you could use them.

I wish I could finish the first chapter of my book.

Offline rookie

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1146 on: December 04, 2012, 09:37:00 am »
Granted. Best of luck with the second chapter though. ;-).

I wish I could've gone fishing over the summer.
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I'll stop eating beef lamb and pork the same day they start letting me eat vegetarians.

Offline Veras

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1147 on: December 04, 2012, 12:25:54 pm »
Granted, but you didn't catch any fish, only Aquaman.  And now he won't leave you alone.

I wish for a hot, juicy, full pound cheddar bacon barbecue cheeseburger.

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1148 on: December 04, 2012, 03:35:02 pm »
Wish granted.  It gives you food poisoning, followed by a heart attack, brain aneurysm, and stroke simultaneously.

I wish I had no more debt.
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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1149 on: December 04, 2012, 05:12:25 pm »
Granted, but you had to sell both your kidneys, and spend your last week on Earth working in a donkey-show in Tijuana.

I wish that FOX news would admit they're just trolling for stupid.

Offline Veras

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1150 on: December 04, 2012, 05:15:55 pm »
Granted, but all of their viewers think that means they are acting monsterous toward Obama, which is an acceptable thing to do.  They win even more respect from their audience.

The Tea Party literally draws and quarters Boehner for suggesting that the Republicans allow the Bush tax cuts to expire for the top 2%.

EDIT:  I wish I had not confused this thread with the Fox News Headline Game, and wished for something instead of posting a situation for FOX to cover.
« Last Edit: December 04, 2012, 05:23:31 pm by Veras »
RIP Tony Benn (1925 - 2014)

"There is no moral difference between a stealth bomber and a suicide bomber. Both kill innocent people for political reasons."

“If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people.”

"I'm not frightened about death. I don't know why, but I just feel that at a certain moment your switch is switched off, and that's it. And you can't do anything about it."

Offline rookie

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1151 on: December 04, 2012, 08:08:34 pm »
Granted. You came up with the perfect thing for Julian's nonavatar to say.

I wish for something cool (as in interesting or awesome or neat).
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Quote from: davedan board=pg thread=6573 post=218058 time=1286247542
I'll stop eating beef lamb and pork the same day they start letting me eat vegetarians.

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1152 on: December 04, 2012, 08:14:48 pm »
Granted. You're being romantically pursued by Bigfoot.

I wish for Congress to let the tax cuts for the top 2% to expire.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline dpareja

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1153 on: December 04, 2012, 08:27:39 pm »
Granted. They let all the others expire, too.

I wish FOX hadn't screwed Firefly over.
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Saturn500

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1154 on: December 04, 2012, 10:41:15 pm »
Granted, but it's just clip show after clip show starting in Season 2.

I wish I could lose a few pounds.