Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 363325 times)

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Offline Meshakhad

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #375 on: February 14, 2012, 08:40:25 pm »
Granted. You start sucking so bad that before you know it, you're $200,000 in debt to the Russian mafia.
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Offline Captain Jack Harkness

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #376 on: February 14, 2012, 10:23:55 pm »
You made no wish.  Therefore to properly corrupt shit for you, I'm just going to send you to a personal hell where you have to face your own fear.  So you can't eventually overcome it, I'm going to remove your ability to overcome fears.

I wish that I didn't just sound like the Biblical God in this post.
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Offline e13

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #377 on: February 15, 2012, 12:56:15 am »
You made no wish.  Therefore to properly corrupt shit for you, I'm just going to send you to a personal hell where you have to face your own fear.  So you can't eventually overcome it, I'm going to remove your ability to overcome fears.

I wish that I didn't just sound like the Biblical God in this post.
Granted. You now sound like Carrot Top.

I wish, I wish, with all my heart, to fly with dragons, in a land apart.  :-\

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Offline Her3tiK

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #378 on: February 15, 2012, 01:44:57 am »
You made no wish.  Therefore to properly corrupt shit for you, I'm just going to send you to a personal hell where you have to face your own fear.  So you can't eventually overcome it, I'm going to remove your ability to overcome fears.

I wish that I didn't just sound like the Biblical God in this post.
Granted. You now sound like Carrot Top.

I wish, I wish, with all my heart, to fly with dragons, in a land apart.  :-\
Granted, the dragons eat you because you're a mere human, then die because the germs naturally found in your body are a horrendous neurotoxin to theirs.

I wish I could afford to buy all the amazing music I've ever heard.
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Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #379 on: February 15, 2012, 02:32:04 am »
Granted, but you go deaf as soon as you collect it all.

I wish that Mass Effect 3 was out already!
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Offline Jack Bauer

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #380 on: February 15, 2012, 03:07:40 am »
Granted, but Commander Shepard has been replaced by a protocol droid with a stutter whose only talent appears to be interior design.

I wish it was springtime.

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Offline ironbite

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #381 on: February 15, 2012, 04:48:30 am »
Granted.  It's Springtime...FOR HITLER!

Ironbite-I wish for the world to have that song stuck in their head.

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #382 on: February 15, 2012, 04:59:36 am »
Granted, everyone but you now has that song stuck in their head. Why everyone but you, you may ask? Why, because the bird bird bird, the bird is the word, about the bird bird bird, the bird is the world about the bird bird bird, the bird is the world, about the bird, bird, the bird's the world. Don't you know about the bird? Everybody's heard that the bird is the word.

I wish everybody had heard that the bird is the word.

Offline Meshakhad

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #383 on: February 15, 2012, 02:05:21 pm »
Granted. Unfortunately, the sentence was "what should we have for dinner?" Within one week, birds are extinct.

I wish for this wish to be corrupted.
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Pardon the interruption, good sir/lady; there are aspects of your behavior that I find quite unbecoming, and I must insist most strenuously that I be permitted to assist in resolving these behaviors through the repeated high-velocity cranial introduction of particularly firm building materials.

Quote from: Meshakhad
GIVE ME KNOWLEDGE OR I WILL PUT A CAP IN YO ASS!

Offline Captain Jack Harkness

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #384 on: February 15, 2012, 02:53:02 pm »
Wish granted.  Of course, by "this wish" I assume you mean the wish that you're thinking about in your head that was really awesome but you were too lazy to actually type.  So whatever awesome thing you wished for, it's now terribly corrupted.  It's so bad that you have nightmares and commit suicide.

I wish I could read Meshakhad's mind so I could learn what horrible fate I just subjected him to.
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Offline niam2023

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #385 on: February 15, 2012, 03:45:23 pm »
Granted. You go mad from the revelation.

I wish I had a one hundred zillions of dollars.
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Offline Scotsgit

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #386 on: February 15, 2012, 04:32:59 pm »
Granted:  Everyone else in the world no longer uses money and now barters instead.  Your money is worthless.

I wish I wasn't prone to migraines.
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Offline Captain Jack Harkness

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #387 on: February 15, 2012, 05:29:06 pm »
Wish granted.  You're now have extremely severe narcolepsy.

I wish I could understand every language on the planet.
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Offline Meshakhad

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #388 on: February 15, 2012, 06:30:27 pm »
Granted. This includes the language of the Old Ones. You start hearing things in it that you never noticed before. Soon, you are driven to slaughter everyone you ever knew.

I wish I could force all gay marriage opponents to either provide reasoned arguments for banning gay marriage, or accept that it should be legal.
G-d's Kingdom Is A Hate-Free Zone

Quote from: Reploid Productions
Pardon the interruption, good sir/lady; there are aspects of your behavior that I find quite unbecoming, and I must insist most strenuously that I be permitted to assist in resolving these behaviors through the repeated high-velocity cranial introduction of particularly firm building materials.

Quote from: Meshakhad
GIVE ME KNOWLEDGE OR I WILL PUT A CAP IN YO ASS!

Offline Scotsgit

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #389 on: February 15, 2012, 06:35:15 pm »
Granted. This includes the language of the Old Ones. You start hearing things in it that you never noticed before. Soon, you are driven to slaughter everyone you ever knew.

I wish I could force all gay marriage opponents to either provide reasoned arguments for banning gay marriage, or accept that it should be legal.

Granted:  Fred Phelps goes full circle and now wants nothing more than than your man meat.  He stalks you day and night, waiting outside your house wearing nothing but a lycra thong.

I wish I could now get the above image of Phelps out of my head.
I am serious, and stop calling me Shirley!