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Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 383714 times)

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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1170 on: December 06, 2012, 10:07:28 pm »
Granted. It's up to a billion changes a day.

I wish I wasn't feeling so depressed.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Meshakhad

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1171 on: December 07, 2012, 12:42:49 am »
Granted. You are kicked in the balls. Now you feel pain.

I wish I could overload people's brains at will.
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Offline Julian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1172 on: December 07, 2012, 03:45:21 am »
Granted, but their immediate reaction is to kick you in the genitals as hard as they can.

I wish for peace on Earth and joy to mankind.
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Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1173 on: December 07, 2012, 04:56:43 am »
Granted, but in order to balance it out, it results in misery to all canine-kind. As revenge, every dog bites you in the balls whenever they get the chance.

I wish I had steady, well paying employment.
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Offline RinellaWasHere

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1174 on: December 07, 2012, 05:02:12 am »
Granted. Your new job as Mr. Hefner's personal foreskin polisher begins next Tuesday.

I wish my new possible relationship will go well.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1175 on: December 07, 2012, 07:42:40 am »
Granted, if by "well" you mean becoming the sub in the relationship, with no safeword.

I wish to win one hundred million dollars in the lottery and invest it wisely enough to secure my financial well-being for life.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline rookie

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1176 on: December 07, 2012, 09:41:30 am »
Granted. All of your financial well being is now directly tied to Newscorp.

I wish Fox News would just go away, to hell with Sirius's finances.
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Offline Veras

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1177 on: December 07, 2012, 09:47:43 am »
Granted.  No, really.  Newscorp is splitting into two companies.  The print business will remain with Newscorp, while Fox News and other television holdings will be part of the Fox Group.  Fox News went away (from Newscorp).  Of course, Murdoch will still be in charge, it will still be on TV, and its content will remain unchanged.

I wish I was already in a PhD program.  Preferably Political Science at the University of Oregon.
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Offline Julian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1178 on: December 07, 2012, 10:16:42 am »
Granted. Your first preference comes with a caveat. You can tell them to go jump and study Political "Science" at Oral Roberts, or you can get your first preference at UoO, but the catch for that is you also have to assist in another PhD program as a subject for completely unethical medical experiments they could only get past the review board if the subjects 'volunteered'. Either way, your brain's going to get pumped full of noxious shit - do you volunteer?

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Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1179 on: December 08, 2012, 12:30:01 pm »
Granted, but his crazy views gain more traction because of the attention.

I wish that it wasn't raining so I could take a walk.
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Offline Auggziliary

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1180 on: December 08, 2012, 12:35:36 pm »
Granted. It never rains again. You ruined the planet you selfish fuck.

I wish children weren't so annoying.
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Offline Sleepy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1181 on: December 08, 2012, 03:47:20 pm »
Granted, now children are mature and adults are the annoying ones.

I wish for free, unlimited milk.
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Guys, this is getting creepy. Can we talk about cannibalism instead?

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Offline ironbite

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1182 on: December 08, 2012, 04:43:53 pm »
Granted.  Its out of Art's nipples.

Ironbite-once more I wish...FOR FISH!
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Offline Random Gal

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1183 on: December 09, 2012, 05:43:37 pm »
Granted. A giant shark eats you.

I wish to get a perfect score on all my exams, without cheating.
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Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1184 on: December 09, 2012, 05:57:27 pm »
Granted, but everyone cheats off of you and you get caught up in a huge scandal.

I wish that I had some beer right now.
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a.k.a. TGRwulf
"hehehehe. you said member." ~ Shepard/Booker
"it's kind of like my right left hand on a sunday every night. How so? It beats the fuck out of me!" ~ Saturn500
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