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Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 387023 times)

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Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1245 on: December 17, 2012, 02:46:07 pm »
Granted, but you can't understand a bit of it.

I wish that we had gotten just snow last night, and not the layer of freezing rain on top of it.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1246 on: December 17, 2012, 07:02:16 pm »
Granted. Your house was buried. By the time the snow melts enough for anyone to find out, you've been driven to cutting off and eating your own limbs.

I wish for a tame bat as a pet.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1247 on: December 17, 2012, 09:05:57 pm »
Granted, but he shits everywhere.  And I mean EVERYWHERE.

I wish that my tea was still hot.
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"it's kind of like my right left hand on a sunday every night. How so? It beats the fuck out of me!" ~ Saturn500
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Offline dpareja

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1248 on: December 17, 2012, 09:09:15 pm »
Granted. It's so hot that it burns your hands when you pick up the cup and sears all ability to taste anything out of your tongue.

I wish my watch's leather watchstrap hadn't broken.
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Being required by someone else’s religious beliefs to behave contrary to one’s sexual identity is degrading and disrespectful.

Offline Julian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1249 on: December 18, 2012, 04:02:18 am »
Granted, but the watch itself - it's toast!

I wish for some retard repellant.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1250 on: December 18, 2012, 09:23:42 am »
Granted. Its standards are set so high that you spend the rest of your life alone and friendless.

I wish to be done with the legal system for good.
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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1251 on: December 18, 2012, 09:41:18 am »
Granted. Enjoy your new life in beautiful Somalia.

I wish things would happen and stuff.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1252 on: December 18, 2012, 10:12:44 am »
Granted. Everything that happens to you is the stuff of the combined nightmares of H.P. Lovecraft and the world's worst hentacle artists.

I wish for mad combat skills, since I'm stuck in Somalia now.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline rookie

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1253 on: December 18, 2012, 11:11:28 am »
Granted. They're not quite as good as your enemies, but impressive nonetheless.

I wish I weren't allergic to cats.
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Offline dpareja

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1254 on: December 18, 2012, 11:23:22 am »
Granted. You're now allergic to everything else.

I wish students wouldn't try to cheat on exams--and, when caught, wouldn't get belligerent about it.
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Quote from: Jordan Duram
It doesn't concern you, Sister, that kind of absolutist view of the universe? Right and wrong determined solely by a single all-knowing, all powerful being whose judgment cannot be questioned and in whose name the most horrendous acts can be sanctioned without appeal?

Quote from: Supreme Court of Canada
Being required by someone else’s religious beliefs to behave contrary to one’s sexual identity is degrading and disrespectful.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1255 on: December 18, 2012, 11:39:31 am »
Granted. You get fired as the pass rate for your class drops like a rock.

I wish for a pet bat that didn't shit everywhere and was perfectly healthy and well-behaved.
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Offline Sigmaleph

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1256 on: December 18, 2012, 05:50:36 pm »
Granted. It is eaten and impersonated by a different bat, which promptly proceeds to shit everywhere.

I wish my dog stopped biting me.
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Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1257 on: December 18, 2012, 06:25:07 pm »
Granted, but now he's peeing on you instead.

I wish that I knew what I wanted for dinner.
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"it's kind of like my right left hand on a sunday every night. How so? It beats the fuck out of me!" ~ Saturn500
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1258 on: December 18, 2012, 06:51:10 pm »
Granted. You want dog crap.

I wish steampunk would make more inroads into movies and TV.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1259 on: December 18, 2012, 09:56:43 pm »
Granted but they're all directed by a tag team of Micheal Bay and M. Night Shyamalan.

I wish that I hadn't run out of wrapping paper.
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a.k.a. TGRwulf
"hehehehe. you said member." ~ Shepard/Booker
"it's kind of like my right left hand on a sunday every night. How so? It beats the fuck out of me!" ~ Saturn500
"Drinking, fighting, fucking...they basically outlawed 99% of the lifestyle of your typical Irishman.  Much less your typical Viking." ~ RavynousHunter
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