My school only got paranoid after I started recovering from depression. At my most depressed, I was apathetic and didn't speak my mind or do my best to be myself. As I started recovering, I actually got the will to start to look how I actually want. I began growing my hair out like I had wanted to for a decade, have been straightening it, at first just let my bangs hang down but now part it in the middle (think modern Twiggy Ramirez or Trent Reznor for length and style, even though I want it longer), started getting patches for my jacket (oddly enough, I've never gotten a real reaction to having the album art for Holy Wood on my shoulder), and finally got myself some boots. Additionally, I stopped just rolling over, and started speaking up about shit. My wrapping my headphones' wire around my neck as a makeshift collar for both look and ease-of-access to my MP3 player didn't help (I have it dangle against my chest).
But, people are unable to pay attention, so when I say something, they completely mishear it. Like when I brought up how society makes you famous if you kill someone, they thought I was supporting killing people to become famous, when I made it a point to say that society was in the wrong for that (we were discussing Adam Lanza, and I still hate the fact I know his name, because it means the media has done it again, when I was actually trying not to learn it). Additionally, my inability to say he shot up Sandy Hook because he was evil, and instead arguing that it was mental illness, made people think I was, once again, supporting him. I made it quite clear his actions were horrible, but simply was saying his motive was more complex than "Evil" and we should actually care about what it really was. About the only time where they don't misunderstand me while I spell shit out is my not saying or standing for the Pledge. Don't get me wrong, I'm actually pretty popular (fuck if I know how, I'm still a socially awkward wreck), it's just that most people at my school are too damn dumb to understand a word I say.
