The Cult of the Baby

[RavynousHunter]

Ravynous, do you really get that Baby Cult attitude from everyone who's a parent?  Because I could say that the default behavior of parents is that they have rewards from the experience they wouldn't trade, but they wouldn't think you need to be a second class citizen for not agreeing.  That's generally what I've experienced in this area. 

And while I'll say that I enjoy the rewards that come with parenting, I'd be the last person to look down my nose at you if the tougher moments and lost time are too high a price.

While I will agree that most of my arguments stem from anecdotes from my own experiences, as well as those of others like me, the Baby Cult attitude appears to be pervasive in our society.  Even if they don't want us ground into the dirt, there are far more subtle ways to ostracize and socially isolate people that do not conform to societal standards of acceptable behaviour, no matter how illogical said standards might be.  Much in the same way that I don't have to actually punch someone to be abusive.  Its less them beating me with their ideals and more the dismissive looks, the slight yet noticeable smugness in their tone, the whiff of superiority when they subtly denigrate your choice to not further burden our already strained resources.  They might not say it, but their bodies and their language betray their true feelings.

[Even Then]

I'm never gonna have children either because

1) I would be a bad dad
2) I'm, like, super asexual
3) There's autism in my family line, I don't wanna pass that on
4) I just want to have a relaxed life without having to take care of children

So, you know, you're not alone. *lays hand on shoulder in solidarity*

[RavynousHunter]

Doesn't hurt that, in the long run, I'll save a lot of money that I can put toward something far more interesting.  Like a Dodge Challenger or a walk-in closet that's really a gigantic fridge/meat locker.

[davedan]

I have kids. First was born when I was 24, so for most of my adult life I've been a parent. Very little experience of being child free. Not American either, so very little idea of the pressures to reproduce that might be in the US. Personally I have always viewed it as a choice. I wanted to have kids. If another person or couple doesn't, well good for them. I am still friends with people who don't have kids. We don't hang around as much, partly because kids take up so much time. But we still get together. What is funny is guys who have just had their first kid telling me about fatherhood.

I have had some experience on the flip side of the prejudice Ravy is talking about. That is people have trusted/accepted me more once they found out I had kids. I think its the realisation that you have conformed to societies expectations and makes people think you're safe.

[Sleepy]

I think a big part of the issue is some people feel threatened that you have chosen to follow a different path in life. They followed the traditional baby-making route and may have never considered that not having kids was an option. This forces them to question their life and whether they made the right choices along the way - something that can be extremely painful. Rather than accept this, it's easier for them to bash the child-free person as an idiot who's missing out on the child-related aspects of life, even if those aspects happen to be entirely negative.

[Zygarde]

I probably will never have any biological children of my own. (my sisters have already taken care of having children so I'm off the hook forever) But I'd probably adopt some children if I ever feel stable enough to provide for them.

[lord gibbon]

I would gladly have children one day, provided that my spouse was willing as well. However, I have absolutely no objection to people who don't want kids. We are overpopulated as a species, and let me tell you, I've seen plenty of examples at work of people who should have decided not to be parents, since they suck royally at it.

[lord gibbon]

Heh, the first thing I thought of when I saw the title was the way a lot of Asian and American cultures reacted to their introduction to Christianity (usually Catholics).

[TheL]

I've become torn on having bio-kids myself.  Turns out that as much as I love kids, pre-verbal babies and toddlers are too stressful for me.  I just want to meet their needs BUT THEY CAN'T TELL ME WHAT THEY NEED!  All they can do is scream!

At least with a kid who can talk, I can narrow things down.  "Are you hurt?  Where does it hurt?"  They can SAY yes or no to stuff.  If they get hungry between meals, they can say "Hungry."  If they wanted 5 more minutes on the swings, I can decide if we have time for them to enjoy that 5 minutes.  But an infant?  They could be hungry, tired, lonely, wet, dry, hot, cold, in pain, or could have just soiled themselves.  But whichever thing it is, they can only respond with "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"  I can't cope with "WAAAAAAAH!"

I also wouldn't want to continue my family line because I'm a flaming homosexual whose first instinct when presented with a vagina is to yell limp bizkut lyrics at it in latin in the hopes that it will shrivel and go away like any real demon.

I'm sorry, but this is the funniest LGBT-related sentence I've ever seen posted in the history of anywhere.

[Cerim Treascair]

Just for the record, I'd love to actually read Limp Bizkit lyrics in Latin.  That sounds oddly awesome.

[rookie]

Looks left then right. Ok. I'll say it. Sometimes I get jealous. You can just go somewhere. You have disposable income. You can have nice pretty breakable things. I bet the only time Spongebob Squarepants had ever been on your television somebody was on something. The amount of sleep you get is entirely up to you. YOU CAN HAVE A 1967 CAMEO ADD YOUR DAILY DRIVER! And as soon as I can find a dignified way to ask if white sofas are as pretty in real life as they are in the magazines I will ask that. I'm not saying everyone is jealous of you and your child free ways. But, well, I'm guessing everyone at done point lies awake in bed with the lights off staring at the ceiling wondering what if.

[Ironchew]

I've become torn on having bio-kids myself.  Turns out that as much as I love kids, pre-verbal babies and toddlers are too stressful for me.  I just want to meet their needs BUT THEY CAN'T TELL ME WHAT THEY NEED!  All they can do is scream!

At least with a kid who can talk, I can narrow things down.  "Are you hurt?  Where does it hurt?"  They can SAY yes or no to stuff.  If they get hungry between meals, they can say "Hungry."  If they wanted 5 more minutes on the swings, I can decide if we have time for them to enjoy that 5 minutes.  But an infant?  They could be hungry, tired, lonely, wet, dry, hot, cold, in pain, or could have just soiled themselves.  But whichever thing it is, they can only respond with "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"  I can't cope with "WAAAAAAAH!"

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwxoy9R6WdI" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwxoy9R6WdI</a>

(SFW, but it probably sounds NSFW)

Honestly, if I needed to go to the emergency room, I couldn't guarantee I wouldn't be sounding just like that. Life isn't fun for babies.

[RavynousHunter]

And as soon as I can find a dignified way to ask if white sofas are as pretty in real life as they are in the magazines I will ask that.

Nope.  Even without kids, those things attract dirt like flies to shit.  My absolute minimum whiteness for any furniture is beige.  Anything whiter than that is just asking for trouble.

[Art Vandelay]

Just for the record, I'd love to actually read Limp Bizkit lyrics in Latin.  That sounds oddly awesome.

custodi volvens volvens volubilem volubilem

[Tolpuddle Martyr]

For me it's real simple. I'm in my forties, my partner is in her forties. She doesn't want to have kids, I'm cool with whatever. She's got my back regardless.

Some people get real leery about that and actually ask "how come you don't want kids..."

Fucking hell children-are-mandatory people, not my bloody uterus -it's my partners and she don't want babbies in it, also I don't fancy being the worlds first pregnant man. I don't get all picky about what you do with your bodies, leave me and hers the fuck alone!