Wow, this is some intense Oppression Olympics.
Such big words and huge rants, and enough straw to start a forest fire.
If you think that's about oppression olympics, you are missing the point.
"We're just like you, except with this one tiny difference, so give us rights" is a commonly used pro-gay-rights argument, and it's rather understandable too. Normalising LGBTQ people is a step towards acceptance.
Buuuuut there's also the complaint from the people who
aren't just identical to the societal idea of monogamous marriage and acceptable political views and respectable jobs and so on and so forth that this throws them under the bus. "We deserve rights because we are a nuclear family" has at least some subtext that being a nuclear family is important. Standard narratives optimised to be nice and non-threatening and baseball and apple pie don't help and possibly hurt the people who don't fit those narratives.
Which is why you get the weird dynamics like people going "same-sex marriage is a victory for cis white gay men, fuck those guys". I don't agree with it, but it comes from a place where it looks like all these campaigns are not helping you, they are helping the LGBTQ people that can be sufficiently sanitised to appeal to mainstream society, and there's a fear that once they've got theirs they won't use their newfound social capital to help you, just to keep the new status quo.
And some people do that, sometimes! Bisexual erasure from gay people is a thing. Lesbian TERFs are a thing. Trans men and women shitting on non-binary people is a thing.*
It's unfair to treat all 'normalised' LGBTQ people as though they'd fuck over the rest, or as if they're deliberately pushing a narrative where they are "the good ones". But it's also dumb to lean too much on the normalised narratives to push for LGBT rights. At some point, we want people to realise that your rights should not depend on you fitting nice narratives and just on, y'know, being a fucking human being. I think there are legitimate reasons to think normalising particular kinds of LGBT people can be a double-edged sword in that regard.
*Um, bias note, I'm bisexual and gender-weird, so maybe I'm personally sensitive to this stuff.