Author Topic: Ask Sandman  (Read 46463 times)

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Offline Witchyjoshy

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Re: Ask Sandman
« Reply #60 on: June 26, 2012, 02:29:18 pm »
What do you think of non-Scots wearing kilts?
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Offline sandman

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Re: Ask Sandman
« Reply #61 on: June 26, 2012, 02:40:25 pm »
Scottishness is either a nationality of a state of mind. Either one will qualify you for the kilt.
"In case you're interested, there's still some positions available for that bonus opportunity I mentioned earlier. Again: all you gotta do is let
us disassemble you. We're not banging rocks together here. We know how to put a man back together. So that's a complete reassembly. New vitals. Spit-shine on the old ones. Plus we're scooping out tumors. Frankly, you oughtta be paying us." -Cave Johnson

Offline Old Viking

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Re: Ask Sandman
« Reply #62 on: June 26, 2012, 03:17:27 pm »
Did you know that being a sex symbol is a curse?  A curse, I tell you!
I am an old man, and I've seen many problems, most of which never happened.

Offline sandman

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Re: Ask Sandman
« Reply #63 on: June 26, 2012, 03:28:00 pm »
Yes.
"In case you're interested, there's still some positions available for that bonus opportunity I mentioned earlier. Again: all you gotta do is let
us disassemble you. We're not banging rocks together here. We know how to put a man back together. So that's a complete reassembly. New vitals. Spit-shine on the old ones. Plus we're scooping out tumors. Frankly, you oughtta be paying us." -Cave Johnson

Offline Sleepy

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Re: Ask Sandman
« Reply #64 on: June 26, 2012, 03:30:37 pm »
Does everybody really love Raymond?
Guys, this is getting creepy. Can we talk about cannibalism instead?

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Offline sandman

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Re: Ask Sandman
« Reply #65 on: June 26, 2012, 04:25:17 pm »
No. But they do tolerate Phillip.
"In case you're interested, there's still some positions available for that bonus opportunity I mentioned earlier. Again: all you gotta do is let
us disassemble you. We're not banging rocks together here. We know how to put a man back together. So that's a complete reassembly. New vitals. Spit-shine on the old ones. Plus we're scooping out tumors. Frankly, you oughtta be paying us." -Cave Johnson

Offline ironbite

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Re: Ask Sandman
« Reply #66 on: June 26, 2012, 04:50:47 pm »
Can you feel it calling in the air?

Offline sandman

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Re: Ask Sandman
« Reply #67 on: June 26, 2012, 05:48:24 pm »
No, but I can feel it vibrating in my pocket as it texts me.
"In case you're interested, there's still some positions available for that bonus opportunity I mentioned earlier. Again: all you gotta do is let
us disassemble you. We're not banging rocks together here. We know how to put a man back together. So that's a complete reassembly. New vitals. Spit-shine on the old ones. Plus we're scooping out tumors. Frankly, you oughtta be paying us." -Cave Johnson

Offline N. De Plume

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Re: Ask Sandman
« Reply #68 on: June 26, 2012, 07:46:08 pm »
What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
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Offline Her3tiK

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Re: Ask Sandman
« Reply #69 on: June 26, 2012, 08:15:51 pm »
What's the worst joke you've ever heard?
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Offline sandman

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Re: Ask Sandman
« Reply #70 on: June 26, 2012, 09:12:50 pm »
I think a more appropriate question would be "What have you DONE for a Klondike Bar?"

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is
there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have
a look at him". So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he
checks his teeth. Finally, the vet says, "I'm going to have to put
him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy".
"In case you're interested, there's still some positions available for that bonus opportunity I mentioned earlier. Again: all you gotta do is let
us disassemble you. We're not banging rocks together here. We know how to put a man back together. So that's a complete reassembly. New vitals. Spit-shine on the old ones. Plus we're scooping out tumors. Frankly, you oughtta be paying us." -Cave Johnson

Offline gyeonghwa

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Re: Ask Sandman
« Reply #71 on: June 26, 2012, 09:31:48 pm »
Do these jeans make my butt look thin?
That may be the single gayest thing I have ever read on this board. Or the old one. ;)

Offline Sleepy

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Re: Ask Sandman
« Reply #72 on: June 26, 2012, 09:38:29 pm »
What food tops bacon?
Guys, this is getting creepy. Can we talk about cannibalism instead?

If a clown eats salmon on Tuesday, how much does a triangle weigh on Jupiter? Ask Mr. Wiggins for 10% off of your next dry cleaning bill. -Hades

Offline sandman

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Re: Ask Sandman
« Reply #73 on: June 26, 2012, 10:38:28 pm »
No, but they do make you pancreas look stonewashed.

The finest food in existence is the cannelloni all'Assisiana at La Fortezza in Assissi, Italy. When God gets hungry, that's where he eats.
"In case you're interested, there's still some positions available for that bonus opportunity I mentioned earlier. Again: all you gotta do is let
us disassemble you. We're not banging rocks together here. We know how to put a man back together. So that's a complete reassembly. New vitals. Spit-shine on the old ones. Plus we're scooping out tumors. Frankly, you oughtta be paying us." -Cave Johnson

Offline Fpqxz

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Re: Ask Sandman
« Reply #74 on: June 26, 2012, 11:22:55 pm »
OK, never mind the cannabis thing.  Let me ask you a more serious question:

Do you have a will and advance medical directive made out yet?

I hate to be so dark, but it is a practical question.  You would be surprised how many people I have seen die over the years without having their estates in order.  It makes things that much harder for those left behind.

I'm actually preparing a will for a relative right now.  I told her:  think of it as your way of staring the Grim Reaper in the face and not blinking.

The advance medical directive is even more important.  My mom made hers out when she got sick a few years ago.  She also told me that if I kept her on life support after the doctor told me there was no hope, she would come back as a zombie and terrorize me.  Thankfully, she survived, but knowing her, she would have actually followed through on the zombie threat.  (She's pretty intense.)
Read some real news:  Allgov.com, JURIST

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