I'll try my hand at "Where's Rabbi Waxman?"
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0014/0014_01.aspThis needs a theme song, so...
Jack Chick draws like shit. The tracts with decent art are not drawn by him, but by other artists. After suffering a stroke, he started drawing people's faces a little more wonky, so he probably doesn't draw most of his own tracts anymore. (He probably does all the batshit crazy writing, though.)
The man on the cover is a Hasidic Jew. Hasidic Jews are... quite fundie. They like to obey a shitload of ancient laws in the most literal way possible. A fundie trying to characterize another fundie? This should be interesting. Of course, this also means I'll have to explain things from an Orthodox Jewish theological perspective.
First of all, what the hell is with all the strange font changes? Are they supposed to represent emphasis on the word, like in a MAD Magazine comic? Then why are they so inconsistent? Reading this aloud sounds like the disembodied voice of a certain computer who is fond of science. Which is just plain weird. Who talks like this? Chick, if you can't get the tones of their voices right, you should probably just omit it altogether.
Judaism does have in its belief system the eventual coming of a Messiah. There are a number of reasons why Jesus does not fulfill the Jewish requirement of "Messiah", but naturally Jack Chick will not list any of them here. This is not meant as an attack on Christianity, simply an explanation on why Jews do not accept him as the Messiah.
1) The Messiah must be a direct descendant of King David on his father's side. Because Jesus was born of a Virgin birth, he cannot be the Messiah as he literally has no human father, let alone a father descended from King David.
2) The Messiah will cause all war to cease to exist, and usher in an age of peace instead. Jesus, on the other hand, outright admits that he has come to bring "not peace, but a sword" (Matthew 10:45). Furthermore, even though Jesus as already come, there is still war. (There are some Jewish groups that are
more fundie than the Hasidic Jews who believe that because the re-establishment of Israel has brought war to the region, it is not a legitimate state.)
3) If the prospective Messiah dies without completing their mission, they are not the Messiah. 'Nuff said.
Furthermore, Jews do not believe in a concept of "salvation" because in Judaism there is no concept of "original sin" that tainted people with sinful natures. Skip the quotes if you want to avoid the infodump.
In Judaism, a person's soul is a mixture of holy and animal desires. A person's animal soul is not a bad thing, it is simply a fact of life, and when it is properly channeled it can bring about good things. For example, sexual desire is not inherently good or evil. In its good form, it motivates people to start families and have children. In its evil form, it motivates people to commit rape. It is a person's evil inclination that tries to tempt a person into letting their animal inclinations do forbidden things. G-d tempts people on purpose to test them - in fact, Satan is an angel of his that was created especially for this purpose.
The concept of Jews being the "Chosen People" is one of the most frequently misunderstood. Some antisemites take it to mean that the Jews secretly think they're better than
those dumb heathen goyim everyone else. The Jews were chosen by G-d so that he could reveal the truth of monotheism to them, but in exchange they and all their descendants have to follow more religious laws and are held to a higher standard in general.
Of course, to fundie Christians, being Chosen means that you're G-d's personal plot device.
Furthermore, in Judaism, all righteous people have a place in Heaven. G-d rewards people for their actions, not their beliefs.
http://www.jewfaq.org/gentiles.htmJudaism maintains that the righteous of all nations have a place in the world to come. This has been the majority rule since the days of the Talmud. Judaism generally recognizes that Christians and Moslems worship the same G-d that we do and those who follow the tenets of their religions can be considered righteous in the eyes of G-d.
You see, in the world of Jack Chick, if you're not a Christian, then you're either 1) an asshole, 2) somehow completely ignorant of Christianity (often despite all common sense), or 3) a hypocrite who
knows that Christianity is true, but refuses to follow it, usually for reasons related to category #1.
A Jew is a Jew is a Jew. A Jew who converts to Christianity does not cease to be a Jew. However, Orthodox communities are extremely insular and do not tolerate dissent very well, so that could be what he is referring to. But it's not like the Jews deny Jesus' Messiah-status out of spite. They do have sound theological reasons for not believing. There are many reasons why Jesus is not the Jewish Messiah, only a few of which I have listed above.
Also, how do you gasp - oh, I'm sorry,
GASP - in your thoughts?
Oh, of course. Chicken soup. The Jewish Penicillin. (That's what my mom calls it.)
Why didn't she call the hospital before? It's not like Jews are forbidden from seeking medical treatment.
Also, this panel illustrates why Jack Chick should be banned from drawing human faces forever. Not as bad as Chris-chan, but very close.
She really could've called 911 from the start if he's been so sick. Seeing as fluid on the lungs is a sign of congestive heart failure and all.
Apparently, Code Blue is hospitalese for "cardiac arrest."
Also I like the fact that everyone in this tract has the face of a half-melted Barbie doll.
I'm not a medical professional, but isn't this the kind of situation that calls for a defibrillator?
The Kaddish is not a "prayer for the dead." It doesn't even mention death, but instead praises G-d. It is also said in services, though the melody can change. (The Mourners' Kaddish, however, is never sung.)
Don't get me wrong, the G-d of the Torah is an enormous prick. But even he never sends people to eternal hell for not believing in the right faith. And that "Bible quote" he cites as justification... it doesn't really support his ideas at all.
Also, I kind of wonder how this "Book of Life" thing works. If it's anything like "Death Note", then do they just have their full name written in there before the book takes effect? If that's the case, what happens if two people share the same name? At least in the case of the Death Note you have to know their face. There's probably lots of Samuel Waxmans in the world. Why does God need to ask his angel if his name appears there anyway if he's all-knowing?
Wait. Jesus Christ is God
and God's son now? I thought God impregnated Mary so that he could incarnate into a suitable demi-god body or something like that.
I... just...
...
... sigh.
http://www.simpletoremember.com/articles/a/jewsandjesus/This stuff has already been debunked.
Moar of Jack Chick's god's dickiness. You have to be a really fucked-up individual to take a deity that was
already an asshole, like the one in the OT, and somehow turn him
eviller.
About the "over
9000 five hundred witnesses" thing - there's no independent proof that his death was witnessed, let alone his resurrection. That comes directly from Christian sources, which basically say, "Dude, I totally saw that Jesus guy nailed to a cross and then he rose from the dead! You gotta believe me, 500 other people were there!" That's like if I said, "Of course I have laser vision. Last week I set a national monument on fire, because I'm a jerk like that. Over 800 people saw me do it, so you know I'm right." It's called
hearsay, and there's a reason it's not allowed in a court of law.
So basically, even though this tract was directed to convert Jews, it does a better job at mangling basic Jewish theology, ideas, and scripture. As is the case with all Chick Tracts, it's more likely to turn people
away from G-d than it is to make them want to convert. If Jack Chick had done a little more research, I might actually be able to take him a little more seriously. However, you cannot argue the point that Jesus fulfills the requirements of the Jewish Messiah, because that flies in the face of years of scholarship and scriptural evidence. By all means feel free to argue that Jesus is the Messiah - but don't try to rely on Jewish scripture to do it. You'll fail horribly. Christianity and Judaism are very different religions. Judaism is not "Christianity lite", mmkay?
THAT IS ALL.
(Might tackle a Halloween tract next, but no promises.)