Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly

[Her3tiK]

That wasn't very shitty.

I was focusing more on the politics the game glosses over >_>

They have a CHILD in the game, for Christsake!

[Meshakhad]

You aid a sentient computer in scientific research.

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Portal

[Patches]

You lead a group of rebels trying to save the world from an evil clown.

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Final Fantasy VI

[SpaceProg]

You drive a car.  You turn left mostly.  Sometimes left AND right.  You try to cross the start/finish line first.  Mark Martin rules.

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NASCAR 20XX

[Søren]

You are a soldier and you go to a tiny island in the middle of nowhere to punt off a bunch of Russians that plan to blow up another small island in the middle of nowhere with a small population and no strategic purpose in the hopes of starting world war 3

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Operation Flashpoint: cold war crisis

[Zygarde]

You're this cool genetically modified person and you go around killing aliens and stuff then you get swarmed by all the aliens and die oh and your teammates are all dead except one and even then he's probably gonna die anyway.

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Halo Reach

[largeham]

You have to move little men around a map fighting other little men and taking over their towns and have to deal with going bankrupt, the Pope meddling in your affairs and the fact that your people don't have the internet to occupy them so they spend their time belonging to the wrong religion or starting rebellions. Also, when you fight you have to micromanage hundreds of little people who eventually get really tired and shoot each other in the back. Also many of them can't climb stairs.

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Medieval 2: TW

[ThunderWulf]

You play a mute idiot who runs simple tests by running through teleporters and smacking into walls.

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Portal

[SpaceProg]

You play a farmboy who gets turned into a wolf, then back again, then wolf again, then back, ETC.  Then he finally gets to choose when to transform, and in the end saves the world from a sword-swinging pig-beast man guy.

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Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

[Art Vandelay]

In a society where fuelless steam engines are the norm, are used only to drive trains and the idea of maybe some sort of organised schedule for the world's rail network has never occurred to a anyone, one kid must drive what appears to be a barrel on rails from a small seaside village to a castle without fucking it up and become a train engineer. Once there, shit hits the fan, the evil cunt of a chancellor destroys almost all the tracks and plans to do bad, bad things to the former princess's corpse and the newly inaugurated engineer has to get himself a magical train and fix everything that asshole fucked up.

That said, the music kicks ass.

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Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks

[Zygarde]

Okay your this cool commander named Shepard and you do commander things like killing robots with flashlight heads and cruising around in a spaceship with a guy who sounds like Oz from Buffy. Then you get killed, but a company named after a three-headed dog brings you back to life and then you kill a bunch of insect people and blow up their base. Finally you kill a bunch of starships that are sentient,also a guy keeps trying to get a refund for a toaster oven.

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Mass Effect 1-3

[jumpingjackflash]

High school students led by some random male/female transfer student shoot themselves in the heads to fight black masked literal blobs in a friggin' HUGE tower.

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Persona 3 (Portable)

[Zygarde]

You sneak through the jungle and eat a lot of animals and also you look at this lady's fake boobs also there are these guys who carry an emotion into battle and your medic talks about old 50's and 60's B movies and stuff.

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Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater.

[Witchyjoshy]

There's this game that takes place in this fantasy land that totally rips off WoW because it has elves and humans and dwarves and gnomes (called hobbits in this game) on the side of good and orcs and trolls and zombies and goblins (who are apparently also related to orcs, lol wut) on the side of evil.  No matter what you play, you're a wimpy character because these black robed people always make you cower like a pussy during cutscenes.  You run around, saving pies and doing so many escort missions.  The classes are basically paladin, mage, warrior, rogue, priest, hunter (it's even named the same, lol, they were too lazy to change the name but they didn't even give the class a proper pet.  wtf.), warlock, and then there's guardian (basically warrior without the dps, lol) and warden (wtf, it uses a stupid skill system)

Oh yeah, you also use wasd to move around, and the number keys to use skills.  I mean seriously.  Could they have ripped off World of Warcraft any more?  Oh, yeah, they did.  The main villain is totally a rip off of the Lich King, just with fire instead of ice.  Seriously, man.  SERIOUSLY.  And his servant is even called the WITCH KING.  I mean, SERIOUSLY!  Ugh.  I give it a 1/10.

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Lord of the Rings Online, from the perspective of a WoW fanboy

[StallChaser]

You're a little girl.  People think you're a monster, so you help them.  You can also turn a random ass object like a fish or cactus into an uber powerful +10000 weapon of death that can own anything and everything in one hit.  Just when you get just a bit too cocky, a mushroom steals your weapon, throws it off a cliff, and now *you're* the one getting owned.

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Phantom Brave