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Author Topic: Make a Typical Gingrich Bad Idea  (Read 8752 times)

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Offline niam2023

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Make a Typical Gingrich Bad Idea
« on: February 02, 2012, 03:46:25 am »
Newt was basically described by Jon Stewart as a Life Support System of Bad Ideas, so lets dive into the forlorn abyss of a Newt-type Mind, and pull out some well and truly bad ideas!

I will start:

Gingrich: I intend, by the end of my first term, to create a floating fortress which I intend to use to maintain United States superiority in the politics of the world!
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Art Vandelay

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Re: Make a Typical Gingrich Bad Idea
« Reply #1 on: February 02, 2012, 06:42:13 am »
"A mission to colonise Mars will be launched within my first week of taking office, which will then establish a rich and economically self-sufficient colony later that afternoon. Sometime within the next fortnight, depending on the weather, I'll then solve world hunger by setting up a rice farming colony on Mercury".
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Offline StallChaser

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Re: Make a Typical Gingrich Bad Idea
« Reply #2 on: February 02, 2012, 07:21:21 am »
It's my mission to rid the world of the color green, because green is associated with environmentalism and marijuana.  It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I've invested heavily in companies that make spray paint.  None at all.
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Offline niam2023

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Re: Make a Typical Gingrich Bad Idea
« Reply #3 on: February 02, 2012, 03:46:32 pm »
In the first week of my second term, I will eliminate Islamic Fundamentalism by sending our aircraft across the Middle East and air dropping Bibles across the East!
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QueenofHearts

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Re: Make a Typical Gingrich Bad Idea
« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2012, 04:50:04 pm »
Newt: By the end of my first term my administration will implement a policy which will effectively end American casualties in war. My plan will consist of training bears to identify and kill terrorists in the field of battle. These bear soldiers will have the most sophisticated weaponry and be trained in armed combat as well as hand to hand combat; including, but not limited to, mauy thai, brazilian jiu-jitsu, and Krav Maga.
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Offline rtvc2012

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Re: Make a Typical Gingrich Bad Idea
« Reply #5 on: February 02, 2012, 05:41:27 pm »
My solution to eliminate unemployment: kill all poor people and harvest their organs for cash.  Use the middle class as slave labor to serve wealthy fat cats such as myself.
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Offline zupper

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Re: Make a Typical Gingrich Bad Idea
« Reply #6 on: February 03, 2012, 03:14:57 am »
Get rid of overweight people by changing the definiton of overweight to having BMI of over 50

EDIT: I just realized that even by that definition there would be still plenty of overweight people in America. Sorry
« Last Edit: February 03, 2012, 03:16:59 am by zupper »
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Offline StallChaser

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Re: Make a Typical Gingrich Bad Idea
« Reply #7 on: February 03, 2012, 04:37:33 am »
We need to end the welfare culture in America, and we need to pay off the national debt.  To solve this, I propose eliminating the current income tax and replacing it with a one-time flat fee of $50,000 for every man, woman, and child.  Everyone pays their fair share.  Those who are unable are lazy and worthless.  They will be arrested and forced to work at $1/hour until it's paid off.  Because I'm a compassionate man, those individuals who are born less than one year before the fee is enacted will have it prorated to the fraction of year they've been alive.
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Offline Captain Jack Harkness

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Re: Make a Typical Gingrich Bad Idea
« Reply #8 on: February 03, 2012, 02:03:06 pm »
In Newt's first week in office, he will create a dimensional door to Equestria!

Now, you may wonder why this is a bad idea?  Humans would ruin the land, that's why! D:<
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Offline Cataclysm

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Re: Make a Typical Gingrich Bad Idea
« Reply #9 on: February 04, 2012, 11:18:55 pm »
Newt will stop sending foreign aid to countries that legalize abortion!

Oh wait he actually said that...

Newt will nuke every Planned Parenthood in America!


I don't think he said that yet, right?
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Quote from: Vene on February 03, 2012, 04:05:39 pm
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Offline StallChaser

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Re: Make a Typical Gingrich Bad Idea
« Reply #10 on: February 05, 2012, 05:24:09 am »
Quote from: Lexikon on February 04, 2012, 11:18:55 pm
Newt will stop sending foreign aid to countries that legalize abortion!

Oh wait he actually said that...

Newt will nuke every Planned Parenthood in America!


I don't think he said that yet, right?

Naw, he'll just execute anyone who tries to get an abortion.


Because he's pro-life.
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