My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

[Dakota Bob]

okay, does anypony REALLY want to see some of the worse shit we've gotten?

Oh, yes please.

[Cerim Treascair]

Well, there's this:  http://zacharyp99.deviantart.com/art/The-Invasion-252494362

And this:  http://www.fimfiction.net/story/34554/Momma-Fluttershy

And this:  http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7309764/1/Mangled



... want more? This is shit we all got submitted to us at one point, mind you.  To EqD.  To supposedly a 'family friendly' site.

Then there's the 'filly Pinkie raped by her father' fic that actually got the author raging at us because it's 'good writing'.  They literally bitched at us for having standards.

[Søren]

Topic moved to ponytopia.

All pony topics go here.

ALL. OF. THEM.

<warning removed>

After actually reviewing te rules, no rule regaring pony threads has been made. I was acting rashly, my apologies

[Dakota Bob]

You know, I hate these people who deliberatly try to make shit really disturbing, because it's never natural, it's just "EVERYONE GETS RAPED, THE END" Take Alien for example: One of the greatest horror flicks, the xenomorph was on screen for a total of about several minutes? You give the audience a little, and the mind fills in the blanks.

Or the original Saw. it was two men, locked in one room. Every other film in the series were obviously trying to shock by getting more and more ridiculous, which meant they immediatly failed to be scary.

I'm not exactly the best person to be going on about this, all my writing attempts (pony or not) are pretty abortive, I can never seem to get my ideas down on paper properly, but this strikes me as the most obvious critisicm of this shit.

I just really hate this "2edgy4me" shit.

Thanks for those links, had a good rage. feel free to post more, sometimes I just need to feel angry at small things.

[MadmanJohnson]

Oh, Prayer Ponies isn't the worst I have to offer. This one is written by a guy who sounds like a Care Bears Villain.Gentlemen, behold and be afraid.Say hello to My Little Unicorn:Magic Is Believing
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/9894/my-little-unicorn-magic-is-believing

[Captain Jack Harkness]

I'm still not quite done with the cringe inducing one you posted earlier, MadamJohnson.  Seriously, this thing is terribad.

[Zygarde]

I'm afraid to read it out of fear that it might break me.

[JohnE]

BTW, other people here probably already know this because they're better connected than me, but... I watched a recent Q&A session with John DeLancie yesterday where he said that he'd just done a recording session for MLP, so we'll be seeing some Discord in Season 4.

[Captain Jack Harkness]

I'm afraid to read it out of fear that it might break me.

Oh it's really special.  I could make a compilation of special quotes.  Here's one from chapter 6.

She walked up to the old man and laughed at him. "Now you can tell me 'told you so' since I have climbed that mountain. I have done something that no one thought I could. I am going to post the photo of me on the summit onto my blog. My readers are going to be very excited about that!" Fluttershy said, before leaving the old man before he could reply.

By the way, the author repeatedly ignored that Fluttershy has wings, including having her (and I shit you not) TAKE A PONY AIRLINE to get to the mountain, which has a ingenious name of "K2."

Oh yeah, I just remembered a special one from chapter 4.

"The main rules to the board game they were playing was this: firstly, everyone chooses one of Jesus' followers who then, secondly, take turns travelling around the Roman Empire converting people to Christianity. At first you can only convert Jews, but as your convert rating goes up, you can convert other people such as gentiles and pagans. Each turn, the person rolls two dices, which shows how many spaces they can move. Whenever they land onto a town, which has a small population, or a city, which has a bigger population, the player roles two dices, and if they roll a number more than the number written on the city, they convert the entire city. Each person converted is one point towards the convert rating. If they fail to convert a city or town the player can remain on the town for the next turn, but they have to roll another dice, which if they roll a six, the town will kill the player – forcing them to create a new follower, with its convert rating renewed back to zero, starting at Jerusalem. If they do get kill, they get to roll another dice, and if they roll an even number, God destroys that town or city. If the town or city is not destroyed, and a player lands on that city or town, they also have to roll a dice, and if it rolls an odd number, they die also, but they also get to roll the dice to decide if the city or town gets destroyed. The game continues until every town or city is converted or destroyed. I hope you like this game – I just came up with it right now."

There are no words.  There are no fucking words.

Also, I just finished chapter 8.  I'm pretty fucking sure that the author felt the need to run the thing through a thesaurus.  Maybe they thought it made them sound smarter.  All I thought is "This just makes this story MORE ridiculous, and I didn't think that was possible!"  I'm not kidding, either.  Among several really awkward phrases/words was "ring the constabulatory."  Of course, the author means "call the police."  Now, ignoring for the fact that Equestria having phones is completely out of left field (but that's not surprising, considered the caliber of the writing), I must ask a single question: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU NEED TO SAY THAT IN SUCH AN UNUSUAL WAY?!

[Cerim Treascair]

@ Hof:  No harm, no foul.  We're all friends here.


@ B:  Ah, so Lavender Unicorn Syndrome a-plenty, eh? Are we talking "so purple we can taste Twilight's fuzzy plot" kinda bad?

[Dakota Bob]

Oh, Prayer Ponies isn't the worst I have to offer. This one is written by a guy who sounds like a Care Bears Villain.Gentlemen, behold and be afraid.Say hello to My Little Unicorn:Magic Is Believing
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/9894/my-little-unicorn-magic-is-believing

Ok, "Winged unicorns, not alicorns"? Isn't an alicorn pretty much a "winged unicorn"?

Also, I like how this thread turned into a MST3K for bad fanfics.

[MadmanJohnson]

Excuse me while I laugh evilly.

[Sigmaleph]

Oh yeah, I just remembered a special one from chapter 4.

~snipped~

That is a terrible game. No strategy elements whatsoever, or actually any player choice beyond choosing the disciple.

On the other hand, it seems exactly the sort of thing someone wanting to market "Christian entertainment" but with no idea of game design would create. Maybe that's what they were going for.

[nickiknack]

BTW, other people here probably already know this because they're better connected than me, but... I watched a recent Q&A session with John DeLancie yesterday where he said that he'd just done a recording session for MLP, so we'll be seeing some Discord in Season 4.

YES!!. Discord is coming back.

Also I wanted to tell you guys there is a very good chance that I'll be going to the NY Comic Con in October, and I'm leaning towards cosplaying as Pinkie Pie.

[Captain Jack Harkness]

@ Hof:  No harm, no foul.  We're all friends here.


@ B:  Ah, so Lavender Unicorn Syndrome a-plenty, eh? Are we talking "so purple we can taste Twilight's fuzzy plot" kinda bad?

It's pretty bad.  It doesn't start until chapter 8, though.  Let me give you a few more examples.

"Be unobtrusive!" snapped Fluttershy precipitously; staring at Spike like a parent would do toward their child when such juvenile is behaving impishly.

"Be unobtusive?"  Seriously?

The edict implementation organization got there within a minute or so, since Ponyville was not a surely immense municipality.

Ugh.

Fluttershy was on tenterhooks that he would stop, but he kept moving agitatedly, which each movement creating more the guard more to cognizance. "Let us keep our contour squat, until Twilight Sparkle emanates."

What the fuck?

"I had to get the coinage. I plagiarized from the Church's endowment. We are sure to make it back on donations though, so do not apprehension about that," she said. "Have you heard?"

This is a really egregious error demonstrating stupidity.  They probably used a thesarus for worry, but took the noun.  You can not "apprehension."  You can "be apprehensive," though.  It's still totally unnecessary and shows that the writer doesn't know what the fuck they're doing.  Oh yeah, there's also the "plagiarized" money part.  That's pretty goddamn funny.

Actually, there's something I'm wondering.  If Christianity is as shunned in Ponyville as this author likes to pretend, how the fuck is there a church with enough money to free Fluttershy?  I mean, this fanfic has tons of problems to begin with, but this is...fucking ridiculous. 

It was going to be a large sum to pay...

Then again, I don't know what I should be expecting out of a fanfic that has Twilight converting to Christianity with literally ZERO effort given.

Here's the end of chapter 8.

"How dare you say such a…" before she could finish, Rainbow Dash shrieked and squealed, and then fell over. He had just had a heart spasm, sent from God himself to instil everyone their blunders of their conducts. "NEVER AGAIN," the pony lastly unremitting, "YOU WILL NOT GET AWAY WITH THIS CRAWL ACTION"

Yep.  Rainbow Dash is apparently a guy in this person's imagination, and god gives "him" a heart attack because why not?