Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 363959 times)

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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1215 on: December 14, 2012, 10:10:23 am »
Granted. They're the only thing boob-related you experience for the rest of your life.

I wish for puppies.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Sigmaleph

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1216 on: December 14, 2012, 01:53:34 pm »
Granted. They are, however, shark pups, not dog pups.

I wish I had a complete intuitive understanding of vector calculus.
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Offline dpareja

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1217 on: December 14, 2012, 02:45:47 pm »
Granted. They are, however, shark pups, not dog pups.

I wish I had a complete intuitive understanding of vector calculus.

Granted. However, you struggle to understand absolutely everything else.

I wish people didn't find cats cute, adorable, endearing, or any such thing.
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Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1218 on: December 14, 2012, 04:16:15 pm »
Granted, but they take over the world.

I wish that I had powers over nature.
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Offline Sigmaleph

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1219 on: December 14, 2012, 08:13:26 pm »
Granted. You have the power to control the specific part of nature that is your body, to the same extent as any average human being.

I wish that thing that happened a while back had not happened.
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Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1220 on: December 14, 2012, 09:24:12 pm »
Granted, but the place with the stuff and the doo-dads happened instead, much to the dismay of many people.

I wish I had an awesome gaming PC.

Offline Auggziliary

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1221 on: December 14, 2012, 09:36:49 pm »
Granted, it bounces on hard ground so you can play basketball and tennis with it.
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Saturn500

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1222 on: December 14, 2012, 09:53:43 pm »
Granted, you wished for nothing, so there will never be anything ever again.

I wish I could think of something funny to do.

Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1223 on: December 14, 2012, 10:04:23 pm »
Granted, but everybody hates it.

I wish that I could jump 30 feet in the air.
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Offline Sigmaleph

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1224 on: December 14, 2012, 10:18:11 pm »
Granted, but only in rooms with low ceilings.

I wish I wasn't procrastinating.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1225 on: December 15, 2012, 01:53:05 am »
Granted. You're fired from your job for making your boss look bad with the initiative you take.

I wish I didn't have a close Friday, double Saturday, open Sunday schedule at the restaurant.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1226 on: December 15, 2012, 07:20:52 am »
Granted, but afterwards you're working at the restaurant every hour it's open for the rest of your life.

I wish that my body had woken me up so damn early for no reason.
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Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1227 on: December 15, 2012, 07:34:35 am »
I wish that my body had woken me up so damn early for no reason.
Granted... How exactly does one corrupt an already shitty wish?!

I wish my Xbox 360 controller wasn't so finicky.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1228 on: December 15, 2012, 07:48:43 am »
Granted. Now it has a speaker, artificial intelligence and constantly criticizes your life choices.

I wish I didn't have to go to work today.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Captain Jack Harkness

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1229 on: December 15, 2012, 11:01:15 am »
Wish granted.  I would say you're unemployed, but that would be too easy.  I will give you the rest of the year off with pay, in fact.  However, you get NO days off next year, and ALL of your shifts are going to be 16 hour shifts.

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