Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 363476 times)

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Offline Indikins

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1905 on: July 29, 2013, 05:12:37 am »
Granted. You get lightbulbs covered in your significant other's blood.

I wish for wishes to be granted in the way that I want.
I once had a nightmare about chickens pecking me to death on my driveway. I told my sister to save herself.

This is the #1 nightmare.

Offline Flying Mint Bunny!

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1906 on: July 29, 2013, 05:59:58 am »
Granted. You get lightbulbs covered in your significant other's blood.

I wish for wishes to be granted in the way that I want.

They are, but you become temporarily insane and develop a very skewed idea of what you want. When you return to your normal level of sanity, you find the stuff you wished for abhorrent.

I wish McVities would bring back marmite flavoured mini cheddars.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1907 on: July 29, 2013, 11:28:34 am »
Granted. You get lightbulbs covered in your significant other's blood.

I wish for wishes to be granted in the way that I want.

They are, but you become temporarily insane and develop a very skewed idea of what you want. When you return to your normal level of sanity, you find the stuff you wished for abhorrent.

I wish McVities would bring back marmite flavoured mini cheddars.
Granted, but they cost several hundred dollars.

I wish I had a chocolate bar.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1908 on: July 29, 2013, 11:30:05 am »
Granted, but it gets pooped on by a flock of pigeons the moment you unwrap it, with no spot being spared.

I wish for the ability to raise the IQ of anyone I meet by 50 points.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1909 on: July 29, 2013, 11:34:38 am »
Granted, but it gets pooped on by a flock of pigeons the moment you unwrap it, with no spot being spared.

I wish for the ability to raise the IQ of anyone I meet by 50 points.
Granted. The IQ of a random person drops 50 points each time.

I wish for the ability to grant wishes.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline Indikins

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1910 on: July 29, 2013, 07:24:15 pm »
Granted, but you are forced to corrupt them every time.

I wish the ability to become intangible at will.
I once had a nightmare about chickens pecking me to death on my driveway. I told my sister to save herself.

This is the #1 nightmare.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1911 on: July 29, 2013, 07:49:38 pm »
Granted, but you forgot to wish for the ability to become tangible again.

I wish for the ability to become invisible at will, with the ability to become visible again at will.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Sigmaleph

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1912 on: July 29, 2013, 08:01:47 pm »
Granted. The first time you use your invisibility, you fail to consider that it also makes you blind (since light passes right through you and doesn't interact with your eyes). You are immediately run over by a car you didn't see coming.


I wish for the ability to travel through time at will, in a manner that doesn't violate the Nobikov self-consistency principle.
Σא

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1913 on: July 29, 2013, 08:07:11 pm »
Granted. The first time you use your invisibility, you fail to consider that it also makes you blind (since light passes right through you and doesn't interact with your eyes). You are immediately run over by a car you didn't see coming.


I wish for the ability to travel through time at will, in a manner that doesn't violate the Nobikov self-consistency principle.
Granted. You forget to make sure to deal with the fact that even going back or forward a century would kill you, because all the germs are extremely different to the ones your body knows how to deal with, and eat something, and die.

I wish for a pony.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1914 on: July 29, 2013, 08:52:09 pm »
Granted. It's a male that decides you smell like a female in heat.

I wish for a cat.
http://www.gofundme.com/kw5o78
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Potenatae Argyros

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1915 on: July 29, 2013, 10:04:00 pm »
Granted. You get a Tiger and it mauls you to death.

I wish for a time traveling DeLorean

I came up with this signature all by myself.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1916 on: July 30, 2013, 01:19:43 am »
Granted. You get a Tiger and it mauls you to death.

I wish for a time traveling DeLorean
Granted. You get in a crash as soon as you arrive at your destination and destroy it. You then eat the food, get the bacteria your immune system is not designed for and die.

I wish for the TARDIS.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1917 on: July 30, 2013, 02:42:40 am »
Granted. You get lost in its cavernous depths and starve to death trying to find your way out.

I wish for a genuine $100 to appear in my wallet every time I opened it, with no negative consequences.
http://www.gofundme.com/kw5o78
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http://imgur.com/user/RUSirius1/submitted
My Imgur account. Upvotes always appreciated

If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1918 on: July 30, 2013, 02:57:59 am »
Granted. You get lost in its cavernous depths and starve to death trying to find your way out.

I wish for a genuine $100 to appear in my wallet every time I opened it, with no negative consequences.
Granted. Your house catches fire soon after and you lose the wallet, tripping and dropping it into flames.

I wish for a fake $100 bill to appear in the bank (not my account, but in random bank vaults) every time I say "I".
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline Ghoti

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1919 on: July 30, 2013, 06:27:46 pm »
Granted. You get lost in its cavernous depths and starve to death trying to find your way out.

I wish for a genuine $100 to appear in my wallet every time I opened it, with no negative consequences.
Granted. Your house catches fire soon after and you lose the wallet, tripping and dropping it into flames.

I wish for a fake $100 bill to appear in the bank (not my account, but in random bank vaults) every time I say "I".
Granted. They all appear in the back vaults of people you like/admire, causing everyone you know and love to go to jail/get dragged into lengthy, stressful legal battles.

I wish for a sentient kitten.
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