One of your first followers murders you over a dispute of the relative merits of cheddar vs. American cheese before taking up leadership of your (now his) religion. Over the centuries, it becomes the dominant religion on the planet Earth which controls a vast imperialist and genocidal theocracy, holding an ultra-orthodox view of all secular cheese made after 2012 being a heretical imitation of the true, divinely-inspired recipes (which, naturally, only the priestly elite know). Any layperson caught making cheese, eating cheese (outside of special and legally-mandatory rituals), or even owning a cow is tortured to death. As time goes by, a schism forms within this church, leading to a civil war that quickly spreads to the international community, involving mass WMD use. The end result: six billion people dead, two-thirds of Earth's land area uninhabitable, and the rest of humanity is forced into a meager hunter-gatherer existence for the rest of the species' miserable existence. Good job there.
I wish for a modern-day epic poem