Softball Coach Sends Team to Get Him Dates

[Rabbit of Caerbannog]

And we've come full circle. Again, I've read the whole thing multiple times and the only language you seem to have a problem with is the OP's "smug" thing.

Admittedly I'm probably more annoyed by the language directed at me.  It's nothing too bad, but some of it is treating me like I'm some dipshit.  I'm of course not exempt from using some choice language right back.

Well on that note maybe we can take this opportunity for everyone to calm down before things get further out of hand.

[Captain Jack Harkness]

And we've come full circle. Again, I've read the whole thing multiple times and the only language you seem to have a problem with is the OP's "smug" thing.

Admittedly I'm probably more annoyed by the language directed at me.  It's nothing too bad, but some of it is treating me like I'm some dipshit.  I'm of course not exempt from using some choice language right back.

Well on that note maybe we can take this opportunity for everyone to calm down before things get further out of hand.

That wouldn't be a bad idea.  On that note, all the vigor in talking about this was a bit invigorating.

Wait, is that second sentence redunant?

[Auggziliary]

I just reread the entire thread and seriously can't figure out what this language is that you're freaking out about. You even admitted that no one was calling him a demon or telling him to burn in hell. All we've been saying this entire time is that his actions were wrong. Can you not accept that?

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/subtext

That's where I got the "demon" thing.  It was another way of saying you're demonizing him in my opinion.  Maybe you're merely saying his actions were wrong, but that's your interpretation, and yours alone.

The problem is that you ARE saying that he didn't fuck up. You keep pulling excuses out of your ass like "He was shy", "he was only 25", or "She was 21". You keep making these wild theories to defend him, like trying to excuse him from asking a girl to go to his bedroom because "She had problems". (That's actually how a lot of sexual harassment works, they try to lure victims in by pretending to be a nice guy who wants to help their problems.) If he was actually trying to help her he could have just gone somewhere not as dangerous as his fucking hotel room.

It doesn't matter how many times you say that you "know he fucked up" if you are going to go this far to defend him and attack anyone rightfully calling him out.

You do realize that there's a distinction between calling someone wrong and flat out attacking them, right??  Defending someone does NOT mean you think their actions are okay.  The two concepts aren't mutually exclusive.  Shocking, I know.

Most of my defense was an interpretation/understanding of the story in another light/perspective.  Maybe in another life I could be a defense attorney.

Yes, I see that distinction. I think it is you who doesn't understand that. You aren't saying that he did wrong. You're saying he was just being shy, and that this was a perfectly OK way to find a date. You also kept going on about his age, the girl's age, and a fuck ton of other excuses, that were pretty much echoes of the excuses that society makes to excuse rape. ("At least she wasn't 12", "He was just being a man", "He wasn't creepy though, he had a job and had never been to jail").
Think about it. What did you defend him from? The girl who was harassed, the women who were creeped on, and everyone here who called him out for his actions. You did this by using those excuses. I don't care how many times you've said you know what he did was wrong, it you're going to attack people for saying that his actions were wrong, then yes, you are defending his actions.

Well fuck I was about to post then everyone wanted to calm down.
Honestly I'm still a bit pissed though. B-Man, this shit was seriously uncalled for.

[Captain Jack Harkness]

Well, I don't know all the details, but from what I understand, the 21-year-old was offended by the use of the word "child" in a text.  When he called her a loser - not very "suave" of him - she figured that dealing with the issue by talking to him wasn't the way to handle it and went behind his back.

You know, there's nothing about him pursuing other women in the article.  At least, as far as I can tell - may have to reread it.  I just think that maybe he made a poor choice of words, and that the person he chose to send those words too took said words extremely harshly and decided to go to his supervisor about it.  Unless there's more to it then him using the words "child" and "loser," then I refuse to believe that this woman wasn't making this a bigger problem then it needed to be.  What, you've never made stupid off-hand remarks before?

The only really "creepy" thing was that his advances were unsolicited.  That's probably at the core of the "harrassment" issue.  That's where he fucked up, I guess.  He came on too strongly and too suddenly, and tried to talk to her via a digital medium instead of in person.  They had "agreed to meet" but then the woman and her friend talked and they came to the conclusion that he was nothing but a creep and not worth the meeting.  Of course, you could argue that the decision to meet at a bar was a poor one, but what was he supposed to suggest?  Coffee shop?

Shame he had to resign.  I'm not sure what would've happened after the school reviewed his actions, but losing a job for any reason - especially in this economy - has to be a real shitter. Furthermore, he has the baggage of being someone involved with "sexual harassment."  I kind of pity the guy, to be honest.  This is gonna fuck over his life more than it should, I wager.

[Sleepy]

Well, I don't know all the details, but from what I understand, the 21-year-old was offended by the use of the word "child" in a text.  When he called her a loser - not very "suave" of him - she figured that dealing with the issue by talking to him wasn't the way to handle it and went behind his back.

It's not about going behind his back. It's about her realizing that what this man was doing seemed extremely wrong and creepy, and because he worked at a high school, she wanted to ensure that he wasn't doing similar things with students.

You know, there's nothing about him pursuing other women in the article.  At least, as far as I can tell - may have to reread it.  I just think that maybe he made a poor choice of words, and that the person he chose to send those words too took said words extremely harshly and decided to go to his supervisor about it.  Unless there's more to it then him using the words "child" and "loser," then I refuse to believe that this woman wasn't making this a bigger problem then it needed to be.  What, you've never made stupid off-hand remarks before?

Even if he didn't pursue any other women, what he asked his team to do was extremely inappropriate and he rightfully had to resign because of it.

[Captain Jack Harkness]

Well, I don't know all the details, but from what I understand, the 21-year-old was offended by the use of the word "child" in a text.  When he called her a loser - not very "suave" of him - she figured that dealing with the issue by talking to him wasn't the way to handle it and went behind his back.

It's not about going behind his back. It's about her realizing that what this man was doing seemed extremely wrong and creepy, and because he worked at a high school, she wanted to ensure that he wasn't doing similar things with students.

Slippery slope fallacy much?  I think you'd have to be reaching to say he's fucking/hitting on his students without evidence, regardless of his history.

You know, there's nothing about him pursuing other women in the article.  At least, as far as I can tell - may have to reread it.  I just think that maybe he made a poor choice of words, and that the person he chose to send those words too took said words extremely harshly and decided to go to his supervisor about it.  Unless there's more to it then him using the words "child" and "loser," then I refuse to believe that this woman wasn't making this a bigger problem then it needed to be.  What, you've never made stupid off-hand remarks before?

Even if he didn't pursue any other women, what he asked his team to do was extremely inappropriate and he rightfully had to resign because of it.

I know you didn't catch it because I was editing, but I addressed what I think is the core of the problem in the very next paragraph.

[Nightangel8212]

You know, there's nothing about him pursuing other women in the article.

From the original article:

Instead of fielding flies, the players were farmed out to snag him a date, according to a string of text messages he sent to one of the young women targeted in the hunt.

The bold is the part that concerns me. Not to mention that he told the students to find him photos and numbers of cute GIRLS with an "S". I doubt the teens brought him back just one phone number. The woman in the article was probably just the only one to complain. If he called other women, they could have just blocked him and forgot about him, couldn't they? Or the others might have been in a relationship, so he simply moved on. I realize it's conjecture, but the plural seems to indicate that more than one woman was involved in this, at least to me.

[Captain Jack Harkness]

You know, there's nothing about him pursuing other women in the article.

From the original article:

Instead of fielding flies, the players were farmed out to snag him a date, according to a string of text messages he sent to one of the young women targeted in the hunt.

The bold is the part that concerns me. Not to mention that he told the students to find him photos and numbers of cute GIRLS with an "S". I doubt the teens brought him back just one phone number. The woman in the article was probably just the only one to complain. If he called other women, they could have just blocked him and forgot about him, couldn't they? Or the others might have been in a relationship, so he simply moved on. I realize it's conjecture, but the plural seems to indicate that more than one woman was involved in this, at least to me.

Fair enough.  As far as we know, this was the only one he pursued seriously (or got anywhere with).

[Sleepy]

Well, I don't know all the details, but from what I understand, the 21-year-old was offended by the use of the word "child" in a text.  When he called her a loser - not very "suave" of him - she figured that dealing with the issue by talking to him wasn't the way to handle it and went behind his back.

It's not about going behind his back. It's about her realizing that what this man was doing seemed extremely wrong and creepy, and because he worked at a high school, she wanted to ensure that he wasn't doing similar things with students.

Slippery slope fallacy much?  I think you'd have to be reaching to say he's fucking/hitting on his students without evidence, regardless of his history.

So the students go up to her and explain their mission. She gives her number and is later texted by the guy. After several texts and a talk with her friend, she starts to realize the creepiness of the situation. She tells the principal of the school about it. And that's somehow wrong? If a group of students came up to me and said that they were collecting pics and phone numbers for their coach, I think I'd fucking report it, too. How is that okay, in any way? How is it okay for the guy to send students to do that? Why should it NOT be reported?

I know you didn't catch it because I was editing, but I addressed what I think is the core of the problem in the very next paragraph.

You're saying that the ONLY creepy thing is that his texts were unsolicited? REALLY? So it's perfectly fine that the guy sent a bunch of students to collect women's numbers and pictures for him? Wow, I don't even know how to respond to that.

[Captain Jack Harkness]

Well, I don't know all the details, but from what I understand, the 21-year-old was offended by the use of the word "child" in a text.  When he called her a loser - not very "suave" of him - she figured that dealing with the issue by talking to him wasn't the way to handle it and went behind his back.

It's not about going behind his back. It's about her realizing that what this man was doing seemed extremely wrong and creepy, and because he worked at a high school, she wanted to ensure that he wasn't doing similar things with students.

Slippery slope fallacy much?  I think you'd have to be reaching to say he's fucking/hitting on his students without evidence, regardless of his history.

So the students go up to her and explain their mission. She gives her number and is later texted by the guy. After several texts and a talk with her friend, she starts to realize the creepiness of the situation. She tells the principal of the school about it. And that's somehow wrong? If a group of students came up to me and said that they were collected pics and phone numbers for their coach, I think I'd fucking report it, too. How is that okay, in any way? How is it okay for the guy to send students to do that? Why should it NOT be reported?

I'm not saying it shouldn't be reported.  I'm saying there's a difference between asking your students to get numbers and photos for you and hitting on said students.  Wasn't that your original beef, or are you shifting the goalposts now?

I know you didn't catch it because I was editing, but I addressed what I think is the core of the problem in the very next paragraph.

You're saying that the ONLY creepy thing is that his texts were unsolicited? REALLY? So it's perfectly fine that the guy sent a bunch of students to collect women's numbers and pictures for him? Wow, I don't even know how to respond to that.

Well, his methods of using his students was a bit questionable, sure.  I was just addressing the core of what was considered harassment.  I apologize for not addressing his methods.

[Sleepy]

I'm not saying it shouldn't be reported.  I'm saying there's a difference between asking your students to get numbers and photos for you and hitting on said students.  Wasn't that your original beef, or are you shifting the goalposts now?

Um, I'm not shifting goalposts in any way. You're the one who said it was wrong of her to "go behind his back" and do such a thing, and I'm trying to figure out why you said that. You said that was wrong, and now you say that it should've been reported. Which is it?

Well, his methods of using his students was a bit questionable, sure.  I was just addressing the core of what was considered harassment.  I apologize for not addressing his methods.

Beyond questionable. But yes, the unsolicited messages are another part of that.

[Captain Jack Harkness]

I'm not saying it shouldn't be reported.  I'm saying there's a difference between asking your students to get numbers and photos for you and hitting on said students.  Wasn't that your original beef, or are you shifting the goalposts now?

Um, I'm not shifting goalposts in any way. You're the one who said it was wrong of her to "go behind his back" and do such a thing, and I'm trying to figure out why you said that. You said that was wrong, and now you say that it should've been reported. Which is it?

What about talking to him directly?  Is that not how to handle it?  I realize that such a prospect may not have been comfortable for her, which is why she did what she did.  Having said that, she coped with the situation by going to an external source rather than trying to discuss it with the coach.  I'm not sure I entirely agree with that approach, although it may have been the best given the circumstances.

Well, his methods of using his students was a bit questionable, sure.  I was just addressing the core of what was considered harassment.  I apologize for not addressing his methods.

Beyond questionable. But yes, the unsolicited messages are another part of that.

Yeah, his actions probably made her uncomfortable with confronting him directly, is what I'm thinking.

[ironbite]

*fires into the air*

And the peacemaker has arrived.

B-Man: The fuck are you doing man?  Seriously?  Never in my life have I seen you act this way yet I've seen you act like a little bitch about shit that in the long run, matters not.  And both times it was against Cait.  Hmmmm...me thinks there's a pattern here.

In this thread, I saw you immediately go on the offensive, pointing out everything wrong this moron did and then saying it was ok.  It's not ok to use kids you've only known for 6 whole days to go out and pick up chicks for you.  Shy or not, and I think this guy was not fucking shy at all, it's the creepiest thing I've seen in awhile.  Or something that I haven't participated in.  Seriously dude, the fuck is going on in your life you have to see a fight where there is none?

Ironbite-everything ok on your end man?

[Captain Jack Harkness]

Everything's peachy, bitey.  It's called debate.  Get used to it.  What?  I can't be passionate about an issue in an attempt to reach a rational conversation about this issue?

If you notice, I've been defending my position this entire time, but I've cooled down and better explained what I think on this matter.  I'm not some loveshy goon.

[Sleepy]

What about talking to him directly?  Is that not how to handle it?  I realize that such a prospect may not have been comfortable for her, which is why she did what she did.  Having said that, she coped with the situation by going to an external source rather than trying to discuss it with the coach.  I'm not sure I entirely agree with that approach, although it may have been the best given the circumstances.

I'd agree if this were a mere argument between two people, but it's not. It's a case where a man working at a high school was using said high school's students to find women for him. It's not her responsibility to educate him on why such a thing is wrong and why it should cease immediately. That's his own responsibility. He chose to act in such a way, and now he has to pay for it. She didn't go to the principal to say, "Ew, this creepy guy has been texting me." She did it because the coach was inappropriately using the students.