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Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 392483 times)

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Offline Random Gal

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1005 on: October 06, 2012, 05:01:25 am »
Granted, but it tastes like elephant crap.

I wish I'd done better on my last couple of tests.
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Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1006 on: October 06, 2012, 05:19:35 am »
Granted, but your success attracts the jealousy of your classmates and as revenge they decide to gang rape you.

I wish the internet was faster.
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Offline tygerarmy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1007 on: October 07, 2012, 06:24:48 pm »
Granted, websites run slower.

I wish the Yankees would never make the playoffs again.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1008 on: October 08, 2012, 09:17:35 am »
Granted. They stuff your anus with baseballs when they find out it's due to your wish.

I wish to be better at fencing.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1009 on: October 08, 2012, 12:35:49 pm »
Granted, you're a little better at selling stolen goods. Not good enough to avoid getting caught, but enough to make you confident enough to try.

I wish my undies didn't have holes in them.
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Offline Veras

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1010 on: October 08, 2012, 12:46:35 pm »
Granted, your undies are magically repaired.  Unfortunately, all magic comes with consequences, so to offset the repaired holes in your underwear, new holes had to be drilled somewhere else, and your genitals were the closest thing, so... yeah.

I wish that the 98% of internet memes that aren't funny would cease to exist.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1011 on: October 08, 2012, 01:46:51 pm »
Granted. Unfortunately, it turns out that you're actually living in a webcomic based on the premise of unfunny internet memes. Welcome to nonexistence!

I wish Jim Butcher would write the Dresden Files faster, while maintaining the same awesome quality.
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Offline Meshakhad

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1012 on: October 09, 2012, 03:00:42 am »
Granted. He writes them so fast, however, that his computer catches fire and explodes, killing him and destroying all his outlines.

I wish my computer would work again.
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Offline Random Gal

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1013 on: October 10, 2012, 01:28:25 am »
Granted, but it develops a self-aware evil AI and takes over your brain.

I wish time travel was possible.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1014 on: October 10, 2012, 11:13:14 am »
Granted. You accidentally run over your own grandfather as a toddler, causing a paradox that unravels the fabric of the space-time continuum. Good job, skippy!

I wish sports weren't considered such a screaming big deal.
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Offline tygerarmy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1015 on: October 10, 2012, 10:08:36 pm »
Granted, now they're the only thing.

I wish Rupert didn't kill all the arts and science programs.
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Offline rookie

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1016 on: October 14, 2012, 05:24:26 pm »
Granted. Michelle Bachman killed them.

I wish I didn't have an ear infection.
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Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1017 on: October 15, 2012, 04:10:02 am »
Granted, you have a gonorrhoea infection instead.

I wish for some chicken nuggets.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1018 on: October 15, 2012, 10:08:58 am »
Granted, if by "nuggets" you mean "feces."

I wish I could think of a wish.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Random Gal

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1019 on: October 16, 2012, 10:22:08 am »
Granted. You wind up wishing to know what the inside of a black hole was like and get crushed out of existence.

I wish mammoths hadn't gone extinct.
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