Wishes Will Be Corrupted

[I am lizard]

Granted without corruption. I like dogs.

I wish I was more like wint@dril.

[Second Coming of Madman]

Granted, it's a dead cuddly Rottweiler.

I wish for MC Hammer to be spry as he used to be.

[R. U. Sirius]

Granted. Said faithfulness means they're now all rated R.

I wish the movie industry would abandon the ratings system and just list things that are in the movie, i.e. "This movie contains scenes of graphic violence and sexuality."

[Feral Dog]

Granted, the easiest cause of migraines is now your favorite beverage.

I wish I had an indestructible, immortal, friendly alpaca.

[Zygarde]

Granted he's not friendly to you though.


I wish  I could get a job.

[R. U. Sirius]

Granted. You're a veterinarian specializing in elephant proctology.

I wish for the ability to use the Jedi Mind Trick on people.

[Ghoti]

Granted. Every time you do, you fall deeper and deeper into the dark side without any of the POWAH, UNLIMITED POWAH that usually entails.

I wish I had the ability to shapeshift into any form I wanted without losing control or getting locked into any one form.

[Nemo]

Granted. Every time you do, you fall deeper and deeper into the dark side without any of the POWAH, UNLIMITED POWAH that usually entails.

I wish I had the ability to shapeshift into any form I wanted without losing control or getting locked into any one form.

Granted, but you only ever desire to be a flat worm.

I wish I fully understood the drama on The Internet. All of the drama.

[R. U. Sirius]

Granted. You go made from the revelation.

I wish for the willpower to make some actual positive changes in my life this year.

[Ghoti]

Granted. Life fucks you over anyway.

I wish I could control where/how quickly I grow hair.

[Feral Dog]

Granted. Life fucks you over anyway.

I wish I could control where/how quickly I grow hair.

Granted, you can't do both at the same time.

I wish I had enough money to move out.

[rookie]

Col. You now have the cash for the U-haul, boxes, enough for pizza and beer for your buddies, everything you'll need for the actual moving. But that's all the money you have.

I wish it was 70 degrees outside.

[Svata]

It is now 70°C outside.


I wish it was exactly 1/3 that temperature outside.

[Art Vandelay]

Granted, it's now -159 degrees Celsius outside. I don't think I even need to corrupt this one.

I wish for an air rifle and unlimited ammo.

[R. U. Sirius]

Granted, but you're stuck in a perfect vacuum.

I wish I didn't have to work a double tomorrow.