My mom's trying to cleanse my spirit of being trans by putting passive-aggresive notes under my pillow. Here's one (spoilered because it's so long, my comments/corrections are in
I [Mother] take authority by the Holy Spirit of God dwelling within me over every work of the enemy and I bind it and command it to leave. THE POWAH OF CHRIST- never mind, not going there.
I declare Will holy and righteous and perfect by the same Spirit, sealed for the day of redemption. If the Spirit is sealed for the day of redemption, how's it supposed to do anything in the meantime?
He shall know the Truth and the Truth SHALL set him free.
O Lord, You have searched Will and known him. You know him sitting down and him rising up. You understand his thoughts afar off.
If God can read my mind, I hope he likes cunnilingus 'cause that's what I'm thinking about.
You comprehend his path and his resting place, and are acquainted with all of his ways.
There is not a word on his tongue, but behold, You know it altogether.
You have hedged him behind and before, and laid Your hand upon him.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me. You're probably right. My mind is a scary place in aaalll the right ways.
It is high; I cannot attain it. In order to attain such "high" knowledge, I recommend a nice indica and a pound of potato chips.
Where can he go from Your Spirit? Where can he flee from Your presence?
Well, I could take a midnight train goin' aaannnyywhherrrre!
If he ascends to heaven, You are there along with all the "true believers" who just so happened to be terrible people; if he makes his bed in hell, behold, You are there watching people burn in eternal agony and busting Your holy nuts about it, apparently. If he takes the wings of the morning and dwells in the uttermost parts of the sea no mom, Rapture is under the sea, Columbia is in the sky, even then Your hand shall lead him, and Your right hand shall hold him.
If he says "Surely the darkness will cover me," even the night will be light around him. Luna wat r u doin. Indeed, the darkness shall not hide him from you, but the night shines as the day Luna plz stahp; the darkness and the light are both alike to you. So... God is blind? And also Stevie Wonder?
For You formed his inward parts and formed them inward when they should've been formed outward, so thanks for that; You made him in my womb. I will praise You, for I am brainwashed and afraid he is fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works yeah, top-notch job on malaria, that's really something special, and that our souls know very well. His frame was not hidden from You, when he was made in secret I was made in secret? Like, sneaking-around-because-you're-cheating secret? That... actually makes me feel a little bit better, and skillfully wrought it the lowest parts of the earth. Oh, have I mentioned that I'm the one with self-esteem issues? Your eyes saw his substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they were all written, the days fashioned for him, when as yet there were none of them.
How precious also are Your thoughts toward him, O God! "You're going to burn in hell forever because you don't blindly accept me as the only thing that matters in your life" is "precious"? How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand. I want a restraining order. When he awakes, he is still with you. I swore I went to bed with someone hotter than that.
Search him, O God, and know his heart; try him, and know his anxieties. Lead him into the knowledge of Your very particular brand of enforced ignorance Truth and Your love, and keep him in the way everlasting.
TL;DR version: My mother is fundie. I snark about it.
