Ohh, it's too goddamn early for me to deal with this level of transtrender nonsense.
So much of the Euro-American understanding of being trans (or anything other than 100% constantly identified with your assigned gender) focuses on discomfort.
Could it be because, golly gee, being transgender is usually
uncomfortable, even outside of the social stigma? That, even if we lived on a planet where gender roles (or even
gender) were nonexistent, I would be deeply uncomfortable with my biological sex?
Some people take this idea to an extreme and claim you can’t be trans unless you hate your body and want every surgery available to you. As many other writers have said before, that’s not true. It’s perfectly possible to be trans with only mild dysphoria or none at all. It’s perfectly possible to be trans and have a mental map of your body that looks just like the one you already have.
Not really, no. No, I don't think someone has to seek out every surgery available in order to be "fully transgendered", but if you don't have at least a mild sense of "I'm uncomfortable with my sex/secondary sex characteristics", why is this even on your radar? (Oh, right: tumblr.)
But I’d like to push even harder against the idea that trans=discomfort. I’d like to offer this: sometimes the exploration of one’s gender can be motivated by pleasure rather than discomfort.
Let me give an example. Let’s say there’s a person named Cal. Most people think of Cal as a boy, and Cal’s all right with that. So far as Cal’s concerned, a boy isn’t a bad thing to be. But sometimes, Cal likes to imagine being a girl and being treated as a girl. Those fantasies are always accompanied by feelings of pleasure, satisfaction, anticipation, and warmth. Eventually, having had these thoughts for years, Cal asks people to use ‘she’ pronouns in private and to refer to her as a girl. Cal does this for another year before claiming the label “trans”.
Congratulations, Cal, you're a crossdresser. Or a fetishist of some sort. You can't sit with us.
Some people would say a person like Cal can’t be trans because there’s no dysphoria, self-hatred, distress, or even discomfort. There’s just a pleasure-based preference. But why is distress necessary? Why are trans people supposed to be defined solely by our pain and self-hatred?
Because while you're sitting there collecting identities/headmates/self-diagnosed mental disorders, people are getting murdered for being transgender. While you're playing privilege bingo, people are getting the shit kicked out of them for being transgender. While you're going through identities like the asian girl on
The Suite Life of Zach and Cody goes through clothes, people are getting excommunicated, expelled, or disowned for being transgender.
You're not cute, and you're not helping.It’s my opinion that defining trans people solely by discomfort is an aspect of transphobia. The idea behind trans=discomfort is that being anything other than 100% cis is so awful that no one would do it unless the alternative were unlivable. Think about that: defining trans people solely by their experiences of discomfort means believing that being trans is so awful that only misery could drive us to it. And to me, that sounds like the thinking of someone who really hates trans people.
How fucking dare people with a medical condition (
Gender Dysphoria) that negatively affects their lives talk about it as a medical condition that negatively affects their lives and not as a ~+*spiritual experience*+~ or ~+*pleasure-based preference*+~ in order to validate your fictivekin headmate's snarlgendered alter ego.
Sarcasm aside, if you're bothered by the fact that an overwhelming amount of trans discourse is some variety of "this sucks", maybe you could, y'know,
do something about it. Sign petitions to defeat legislation like PLETT, donate to (reputable) fundraisers that would help vulnerable trans treens escape abusive homes (instead of/in addition to reblogging it and tagging "signal boost"), call people out when they say something transphobic, befriend and support people who just came out or are questioning their gender identity,
something. Don't just play Privledgemon cards while mocking people who are genuinely miserable just because they don't fit or agree with your "I think I'm a [noun]gender [literally anything], therefore I am" ideology.
So I’ll come out and say it: sometimes transition or self-exploration of gender is not just about lessening discomfort, but is about improving and deepening the pleasure we take in our lives.
*sarcastic applause* Congratulations for being in a position that allows you to transition
for shits and giggles to "improve and deepen the pleasure" you take in your life. Meanwhile I'm just going to be over here resisting the urge to cut my chest open with a kitchen knife.
