Wishes Will Be Corrupted

[Art Vandelay]

You managed to set a coin on fire? I must say, that's impressive.

Anyway, granted, but you're denied any and all access to it because reasons.

I wish people were less sensitive.

[Zygarde]

Granted but you are now the most sensitive person known to mankind.


I wish my blood pressure meds didn't wreak havoc on my stomach.

[Art Vandelay]

Granted, but they do all of jack shit about your blood pressure.

I wish for world war.

[Random Gal]

Granted. The nuclear holocaust destroys most of humanity. Everyone who doesn't die of radiation poisoning afterward beats each other up over the remaining resources and everything goes to shit. Are you happy now?

I wish for a large pepperoni pizza with extra cheese.

[TheL]

Granted.  It has extra anchovies.

I wish for some Weird Al music.

[Zygarde]

Granted, but all of it's from a horrible Weird Al cover band.

I wish for some cake.

[R. U. Sirius]

Granted. It's a urinal cake. Not a cake shaped like a urinal, the cleaning/sanitizing chemical thing.

I wish that all animals could speak English.

[rookie]

Granted. But it's all in Cockney slang and you still can't understand it.

I wish my hair was long and luxurious and not thinning.

[Damen]

Granted. But its your nose hair.

I wish for people to stop thumping the bass in their car stereo systems.

[TheL]

Granted.  Instead, they blare the new bagpipe-rap.

I wish I could breathe underwater.

[ironbite]

Granted. You can also talk to fish.  They're very anti-semitic and misogynistic.

Ironbite-I wish for the world to learn to dance.

[Art Vandelay]

Granted. They can only dance the macarena and do so non-stop.

I wish the plumbing wasn't so loud.

[rookie]

Granted. You're now free to hear the demons that haunt your abode.

I wish David Bowie ' version of Man Who Sold the World was better than it is.

[Even Then]

Granted. Every other song by David Bowie is now piss.

I wish I could have a better singing vocal range.

[guizonde]

Granted. Every other song by David Bowie is now piss.

I wish I could have a better singing vocal range.

granted, you can now only sing in infra and ultrasound.

i wish i had some junk food.