How to think like a fundy

[one-shot]

Wasn't sure where to post this, but I found it pretty funny.

http://web.archive.org/web/20080708064742/http://www.abarnett.demon.co.uk/atheism/fundy.html

Ssshhh...we're on to them...

[Neith]

Grammar and spelling

- Are not important, as long as the Spirit guides you. If you are criticised for being unable to form a sentence in English, or using words like "athiset", "Noahs arc", "evolotin" and "revilatian" - worry not. It is not the trivia of punctuation and spelling which is important, but getting the message of God across.

Consider this excellent example. To the untrained eye, the writer may appear to be an illiterate, ignorant dolt, but just feel the love in his words:
"i was wonder if you yourself knew that darwin disowned his theroy in his last days knowing that fossils show species suddenly appering not sight mutations made over long periods of time. the fact is eveolution is total improvible."
Only the coldest of hearts could not be moved by such testimony. This is the sort of level of incoherent drooling you should be aiming for.

[one-shot]

It's awesome. 

[TheL]

EDIT: OK, there it goes.  Man, the Wayback is slow.

"By definition, those who disagree with you are wrong, deluded and possibly perverts, so it is a bad idea to pollute your mind with their religious beliefs. All the evidence in the world is no match for a single grain of the True Faith.

If they say "But evolution doesn't work like that! You are completely clueless!" remind them that evolution doesn't actually work at all. Has a cow ever given birth to a dog? Do we see hydrogen turning into people around us? If we "evolved" from chimps, why are there still chimps? Why do we not see amoebae sprouting legs and talking? These harsh insights will cut through their dogma like a hot knife through butter."

[StallChaser]

Take that, sanity!

I'd also add that it's best to appeal to emotion about how shitty the world would be without god.  Then claim that atheists deny the Truth because that's how they desperately want the world to be.

Example:  You must be so sad for living such a bleak existence without god, and you only do it because you think you can avoid being tortured in hell for all eternity, for daring to be a human being.

Bonus points if you can imply that atheism is an excuse to do lots of drugs and have gay sex.