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Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 386623 times)

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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1410 on: January 23, 2013, 08:47:26 am »
Granted. They think humans are so cute that they decide to keep us as pets. Their idea of "gentle play" is to hit you over the head with a 2-by-4.

I wish for mad archery skills.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1411 on: January 23, 2013, 05:27:42 pm »
Granted, but you immediately face down a dude with an UZI.  Good luck with that.

I wish I could teleport.
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a.k.a. TGRwulf
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"it's kind of like my right left hand on a sunday every night. How so? It beats the fuck out of me!" ~ Saturn500
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1412 on: January 23, 2013, 05:47:22 pm »
Granted. Unfortunately, there are already air molecules where you try to teleport, if nothing else. The explosion levels a large city.

I wish for humanity to make contact with a sexy alien race soon.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Indikins

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1413 on: January 24, 2013, 12:05:31 am »
Granted. However, these aliens are biochemically incompatible with us - producing mind-blowing but invariably lethal sex.

I wish to be able to shape-shift into any appearance I wish.
« Last Edit: January 24, 2013, 12:07:25 am by Indikins »
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Quote from: chitoryu12 on October 15, 2013, 12:50:43 am
Quote from: Indikins on October 15, 2013, 12:19:14 am
I once had a nightmare about chickens pecking me to death on my driveway. I told my sister to save herself.

This is the #1 nightmare.

Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1414 on: January 24, 2013, 12:41:17 am »
Granted, but your voice doesn't change and people won't go anywhere near you know.

I wish that I had someone to cuddle with right now.
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a.k.a. TGRwulf
"hehehehe. you said member." ~ Shepard/Booker
"it's kind of like my right left hand on a sunday every night. How so? It beats the fuck out of me!" ~ Saturn500
"Drinking, fighting, fucking...they basically outlawed 99% of the lifestyle of your typical Irishman.  Much less your typical Viking." ~ RavynousHunter

Offline Indikins

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1415 on: January 24, 2013, 01:11:43 am »
Granted, but this person is a prison inmate with a history of extreme violence and a skin condition.

I wish that real life and its events had soundtracks.

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Quote from: chitoryu12 on October 15, 2013, 12:50:43 am
Quote from: Indikins on October 15, 2013, 12:19:14 am
I once had a nightmare about chickens pecking me to death on my driveway. I told my sister to save herself.

This is the #1 nightmare.

Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1416 on: January 24, 2013, 09:35:55 am »
Granted. Said soundtrack is entirely produced and performed by Skrillex.

I wish for Skrillex to be shot into the sun.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1417 on: January 24, 2013, 10:11:26 am »
Granted, but you go with them.

I wish for a Bender robot for a best friend.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Julian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1418 on: January 24, 2013, 10:19:08 am »
Granted, but you break your teeth on his shiny metal ass and he steals all your beer...

(kinder than turning you into Phillip J. right?)

I wish for more Futurama references.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1419 on: January 24, 2013, 10:20:14 am »
Granted, but they're all about Zoidberg.

I wish to own a casino.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Julian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1420 on: January 24, 2013, 10:27:13 am »
Granted, but the house always loses.

I wish for a disco where the only dance is the Zoidberg, and if you like someone you have to throw your drink in their face.
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Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1421 on: January 24, 2013, 10:35:58 am »
Granted. The drink of the evening is hippo diarrhoea and everyone positively adores you.

I wish the fan was stronger.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1422 on: January 24, 2013, 10:38:52 am »
Granted. Your biggest fan kidnaps you, drags you back to his house, and proceeds to violate you in every way imaginable.

I wish for a living teddy bear best friend, a la "Ted"
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1423 on: January 24, 2013, 10:45:18 am »
Granted, but he constantly gets you fired from every job you ever get.

I wish that I was in a band right now.
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a.k.a. TGRwulf
"hehehehe. you said member." ~ Shepard/Booker
"it's kind of like my right left hand on a sunday every night. How so? It beats the fuck out of me!" ~ Saturn500
"Drinking, fighting, fucking...they basically outlawed 99% of the lifestyle of your typical Irishman.  Much less your typical Viking." ~ RavynousHunter

Offline Julian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1424 on: January 24, 2013, 10:55:30 am »
Granted, but you play Christian rock and Justin Beiber tributes at a metal gig so that every conceivable missile in the arena has been thrown (including turds) before the main act comes out...

I wish the hippo had been fed raspberries, ginger, rum and cointreau...
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