Wishes Will Be Corrupted

[Søren]

Basically someone says they wish for something and someone responds that it's granted but something bad happens.

Example: I wish I had a new book

Example response: Granted, but its old and wrecked


To start off. I wish that the bins in the kitchen wouldnt have to be emptied twice a day because of all the crap we go through

[ironbite]

Granted.  They gain sentience and come after you.

Ironbite-I wish for three pounds of fish.

[GLaDOS]

Granted, you may masturbate three times with any fish.

I wish Chell would stop trying to kill me.

[Scotsgit]

Granted:  They suceed.

I wish 40K Titans were real and I owned one.

[GLaDOS]

Granted:  They suceed.

I wish 40K Titans were real and I owned one.

Granted, but they are unstable, and cause all the uranium on earth to reach critical mass after 5 minutes

Also, Chell already has suceeded, twice, in fact, so you didn't grant my wish...

I wish Wheatley would shut up.

[Zygarde]

Granted but he is replaced by the space core.

I wish people tipped more at the restaurant i work at

[Scotsgit]

Granted:  The tip is to stop working at that restaurant.

I wish I own Games Workshop

[Osama bin Bambi]

Granted: All the workers go on strike. You had no idea there was a video game industry union.

I wish I could learn from books by osmosis.

[Smurfette Principle]

All the books in the world are homeopathic conspiracy theorist books and books by Jenny McCarthy.

I wish I had a vibrator without my parents knowing about it.

[Osama bin Bambi]

All the books in the world are homeopathic conspiracy theorist books and books by Jenny McCarthy.

I wish I had a vibrator without my parents knowing about it.

Granted: It's irreparably broken.

I wish I was more original.

[Undecided]

Granted. You are transported 100,000ish years back in time and are now Mitochondrial Eve.

I wish for a gigantic paradise.

[Jack Bauer]

Granted... The paradise is so enormously huge that is expands the limits of the known universe which immediately implodes into a singularity which then disappears up Michele Bachmann's posterior orifice.

I wish I could make fundtard nutjobs understand that the Big Bang was not a fucking explosion!

[Art Vandelay]

Granted, but you now can't convince them that it was not a wad of Vegemite being snorted out of a giant space hippo's left nostril.

I wish I had AU$3000.

[Her3tiK]

Granted. You now live in Somalia.

I wish that we could elect rage comic memes into public office.

[GLaDOS]

granted, but the only rage comic meme left in existence is scumbag congress.

I was conducting the Schroedinger's Cat experiment yesterday. The bad news is reality doesn't exist, and the good news is, I'll be needing a new cat cemetery. So I wish for that before they start stinking up the place.