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Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 443007 times)

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Offline Sigmaleph

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #15 on: January 05, 2012, 04:38:50 pm »
Granted, but the cemetery only exists in an alternate Everett branch.

I wish for the ability to popularise into common usage any new word or redefinition I want.
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Offline GLaDOS

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #16 on: January 05, 2012, 04:41:19 pm »
Quote from: Sigmaleph on January 05, 2012, 04:38:50 pm
Granted, but the cemetery only exists in an alternate Everett branch.

I wish for the ability to popularise into common usage any new word or redefinition I want.
Granted, but the only word you can say is "Refudiate."
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Space? SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
How are you holding up? Because I'm a POTATO.
Silence will fall.
For fuck's sake, please keep my fucks given levels balanced.

Offline Zygarde

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #17 on: January 05, 2012, 05:35:57 pm »
Granted but now they come back and constantly nag you about getting killed


I wish that my boss would shut up about how many woman he had sex with in a week.
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Offline GLaDOS

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #18 on: January 05, 2012, 05:54:02 pm »
Quote from: Captian.Robinson on January 05, 2012, 05:35:57 pm
Granted but now they come back and constantly nag you about getting killed


I wish that my boss would shut up about how many woman he had sex with in a week.
Granted, you now have no sex life, so there is nothing for you to complain about.

I wish I could get rid of these warehouses full of Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cubes by any means necessary.
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Space? SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
How are you holding up? Because I'm a POTATO.
Silence will fall.
For fuck's sake, please keep my fucks given levels balanced.

Offline jumpingjackflash

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #19 on: January 05, 2012, 06:32:59 pm »
Granted, an antimatter bomb is detonated which vaporizes the entire warehouse, including your most essential spare parts which just happened to be stored there.

I wish I had a personal holodeck.
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Offline GLaDOS

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #20 on: January 05, 2012, 06:46:23 pm »
Quote from: jumpingjackflash on January 05, 2012, 06:32:59 pm
Granted, an antimatter bomb is detonated which vaporizes the entire warehouse, including your most essential spare parts which just happened to be stored there.

I wish I had a personal holodeck.
Granted, but it causes gravity to reverse at random moments

I wish I would never run out of cake.
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Space? SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
How are you holding up? Because I'm a POTATO.
Silence will fall.
For fuck's sake, please keep my fucks given levels balanced.

Offline ironbite

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #21 on: January 05, 2012, 07:50:27 pm »
Granted but you run out of milk to go with cake.  Then Chell replaces you with Adventure Core.

Ironbite-I wish, once more, for the world to live in perfect harmony.
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Offline GLaDOS

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #22 on: January 05, 2012, 08:05:14 pm »
Quote from: ironbite on January 05, 2012, 07:50:27 pm
Granted but you run out of milk to go with cake.  Then Chell replaces you with Adventure Core.

Ironbite-I wish, once more, for the world to live in perfect harmony.
Granted, but the harmony is Rebecca Black's "Friday"

I wish the adventure core would blow himself up, and I would regain control unharmed.
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Space? SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
How are you holding up? Because I'm a POTATO.
Silence will fall.
For fuck's sake, please keep my fucks given levels balanced.

Offline Scotsgit

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #23 on: January 05, 2012, 09:11:02 pm »
Granted:  In the aim to leave you unharmed, you are marooned on a desert planet with no culture or intelligent life form (Or Birmingham as I call it)

I wish I had an off-road motorbike
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Offline N. De Plume

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #24 on: January 05, 2012, 09:14:21 pm »
Granted. But the motorbike is irreparably destroyed if it comes within 50 yards of a road.

I wish that I had my own pet dragon.
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Offline Iczerfour

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #25 on: January 05, 2012, 09:23:49 pm »
Granted but its Spike the kleptomaniac

I wish i had 45 pounds of Rhodium
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Offline Meshakhad

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #26 on: January 05, 2012, 10:05:56 pm »
Granted. 45 pounds of Rhodium falls on your head. You die.

I wish that tomorrow I meet a cute, nerdy Jewish girl, we fall in love, get married, raise kids, and live happily after after.
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Offline Osama bin Bambi

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #27 on: January 05, 2012, 10:09:19 pm »
Quote from: Meshakhad on January 05, 2012, 10:05:56 pm
Granted. 45 pounds of Rhodium falls on your head. You die.

I wish that tomorrow I meet a cute, nerdy Jewish girl, we fall in love, get married, raise kids, and live happily after after.

Granted. Now you have to deal with her mother. And all your kids will marry gentiles.

I wish I was good at math.
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Offline Her3tiK

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #28 on: January 05, 2012, 10:12:56 pm »
Quote from: Wykked Wytch on January 05, 2012, 10:09:19 pm
Quote from: Meshakhad on January 05, 2012, 10:05:56 pm
Granted. 45 pounds of Rhodium falls on your head. You die.

I wish that tomorrow I meet a cute, nerdy Jewish girl, we fall in love, get married, raise kids, and live happily after after.

Granted. Now you have to deal with her mother. And all your kids will marry gentiles.

I wish I was good at math.
Granted, but you can no longer communicate in any language known to man.

I wish for more wishes.
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Offline N. De Plume

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #29 on: January 05, 2012, 10:18:37 pm »
Granted. But in this world wishes are fishes.

I wish for the power of telekinesis.
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