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Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 443008 times)

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Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #30 on: January 05, 2012, 10:21:07 pm »
Granted, turns out you're not just a sleep-walker, but a sleep-telepath. During a particularly scary dream, you telekinetically rip your own balls off.

I wish the Harry Potter setting was real, I was a wizard and I go on to modernise the wizarding world's financial sector, integrate it economically with the muggles and make a massive fortune in the process.
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Offline Osama bin Bambi

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #31 on: January 05, 2012, 10:24:01 pm »
Quote from: N. De Plume on January 05, 2012, 10:18:37 pm
Granted. But in this world wishes are fishes.

I wish for the power of telekinesis.

Granted. But you can't turn it off, forcing you to hear every single thought that runs through every single person around you.

I wish I could speak Arabic.

ED: Dammit, Art. You ninja'd me.
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Offline N. De Plume

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #32 on: January 05, 2012, 10:32:54 pm »
(Telekinesis: Moving objects with mind. Telepathy: Reading and communicating with minds)

Granted. You are promptly accused of terrorism and held indefinitely under the provisions of the NDAA.

I wish to visit Mars.
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Offline Osama bin Bambi

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #33 on: January 05, 2012, 10:44:13 pm »
Quote from: N. De Plume on January 05, 2012, 10:32:54 pm
(Telekinesis: Moving objects with mind. Telepathy: Reading and communicating with minds)

Granted. You are promptly accused of terrorism and held indefinitely under the provisions of the NDAA.

I wish to visit Mars.

Granted. No oxygen. You suffocate.

I wish I could speak Basque.
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Formerly known as Eva-Beatrice and Wykked Wytch.

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There are very few problems that cannot be solved with a good taint punching.

Offline Meshakhad

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #34 on: January 06, 2012, 12:43:03 am »
Quote from: Wykked Wytch on January 05, 2012, 10:44:13 pm
Quote from: N. De Plume on January 05, 2012, 10:32:54 pm
(Telekinesis: Moving objects with mind. Telepathy: Reading and communicating with minds)

Granted. You are promptly accused of terrorism and held indefinitely under the provisions of the NDAA.

I wish to visit Mars.

Granted. No oxygen. You suffocate.

I wish I could speak Basque.

Granted. You lose the ability to speak other languages. Resigned, you move to Spain. While in Madrid, you are accused of terrorism and held under their local laws, resulting in you being forced into a bullfighting arena. In place of the bull.

I wish I had a Gay Note - that by writing in it, a given person is revealed as a homosexual.
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Offline jumpingjackflash

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #35 on: January 06, 2012, 01:41:38 am »
Granted. However, while you were away, someone sneaks up on your gay note, writes your closest friends which happen to have the same gender as you, as well as several random same-gendered people. You are then promptly chased by droves of homosexual people who fell in love with you, Benny Hill style.

I wish I have a time-travel machine which allows me to meet now-deceased famous figures (John Lennon, Martin Luther King, etc.)
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Quote from: Art Vandelay on May 19, 2012, 11:18:14 pm
Ok seriously, is nobody even going to try and avenge my man-burrito?

Offline Her3tiK

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #36 on: January 06, 2012, 01:54:20 am »
Quote from: jumpingjackflash on January 06, 2012, 01:41:38 am
Granted. However, while you were away, someone sneaks up on your gay note, writes your closest friends which happen to have the same gender as you, as well as several random same-gendered people. You are then promptly chased by droves of homosexual people who fell in love with you, Benny Hill style.

I wish I have a time-travel machine which allows me to meet now-deceased famous figures (John Lennon, Martin Luther King, etc.)
Granted, you meet Alexander the Great as one of the soldiers he killed in his conquests.

I wish I didn't have to do something about this cyst on my wrist tomorrow.
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Offline N. De Plume

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #37 on: January 06, 2012, 08:45:19 am »
Granted. The cyst is now on your ass.

I wish I had the power of flight.
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Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #38 on: January 06, 2012, 03:06:21 pm »
Granted, but you get shot down for zipping around in no-fly zones.

I wish that our new building would be finished already so we could get moving my work over with.
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Offline Sigmaleph

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #39 on: January 06, 2012, 03:10:56 pm »
Granted, but the building is made of cardboard.

I wish for the ability to cure any kind of cancer, including on my person.
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Offline jumpingjackflash

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #40 on: January 06, 2012, 05:46:39 pm »
Granted, but anyone cured by you suddenly contracts diarrhea instead.

I wish I can master mathematics and physics, the two subjects I hate so much back in high school.
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Quote from: Art Vandelay on May 19, 2012, 11:18:14 pm
Ok seriously, is nobody even going to try and avenge my man-burrito?

Offline N. De Plume

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #41 on: January 06, 2012, 08:32:00 pm »
Granted. But you lose all ability with your favorite subjects.

I wish I had a brand new tilt-shift lens for my Rebel T2i.
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Offline Jack Bauer

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #42 on: January 06, 2012, 09:10:55 pm »
Granted, but the world now appears to you only on a dollshouse scale.

I wish they would make a live action Captain Scarlet movie.
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Offline Undecided

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #43 on: January 06, 2012, 10:14:33 pm »
Granted. We are all transported to an alternate universe where we are all marionette dolls controlled by alien overlords, thus redefining "live action" to mean the original context.

I wish for a flower garden.
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Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #44 on: January 06, 2012, 11:07:23 pm »
Granted, but it's planted in such a way that when viewed from above, it spells "Rick Santorum for President".

I wish I was omnipotent.
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