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Community => The Lounge => Topic started by: Hades on July 04, 2012, 09:07:08 am

Title: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Hades on July 04, 2012, 09:07:08 am
Since all the recent posts have gone kablooey, and this subject was shaping up to need its own thread anyway, here we are. I saw some good ones last night, hopefully you guys have them saved somewhere.

Describe your favorite game and make it sound as shitty as possible:


Some kid gets summoned by a talking tree to retrieve a jewel out of its dungeony bowels. The tree vomits exposition all over the place, informing the kid that a sickly-colored ginger is trying to take over the world, because he has a huge nose and can't deal with it.

The talking tree sentences the kid to a lifetime partnership with a Screeching Firebug of Woe, then promptly dies like the old asshole he is.

The kid gets two more jewels by doing some more dungeony shit, which enables him to gain access to a legendary sword. It turns out that when you pick up the sword, you get barfed up through some kind of time vortex into a post-apocalyptic future.

The kid is now a teenager, and unfortunately the Screeching Firebug of Woe is still alive and well, almost acting as a punctuation to the horror of his new reality.

The kid then has to unlock some sages or something and does A LOT more dungeony shit.

Every creature with a vagina would claw each other to death just to get under this kids tunic, and he bangs not a single one of them.

He eventually kills the sickly-colored ginger, or so it seems. All he really managed to do was piss Mr. Schnozzola off and make him turn into a tusky hellbeast. After a rowdydow with the tusky hellbeast, everything goes back to being okay.

Check this game out, 10/10. Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: erictheblue on July 04, 2012, 09:15:03 am
Could people also post what the game is, for those of us who are clueless?


You spent your life underground. Then, for some unknown reason, you leave the only home you have known to wander around. And some crazy guy keeps announcing everywhere you go and everything you do to everyone within range. And there are a much of crazy people who want to kill you. And a bunch of robots that want to kill you. And kids who try to kill you. And men the size of mountains that want to kill you. And more crazy people who think they are knights in shining armor, but they don't want to kill you. Instead, they want you to do something suicidal, although it turns out to not be completely suicidal.


(Fallout 3)
Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Hades on July 04, 2012, 09:25:13 am
Edited my post to include the name of the game. Thanks, Eric.
Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on July 04, 2012, 09:32:27 am
Some guy with a gun has to escort a mentally challenged woman out of a silo in Russia.

Goldeneye, of course.
Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Saturn500 on July 04, 2012, 09:32:43 am
You climb some tower and kill demons.

(Ys Origin)
Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: SpaceProg on July 04, 2012, 09:44:36 am
You go through a dark hell-dimension full of fog, blood, rust,  locked doors (Especially locked/broken doors) and contrived item-fetches so you can solve weird-ass puzzles, but it seems normal because hey, you're in a dark hell-dimension.  You kill a demon god/Evil Manifestation that still hasn't figured out that the Protagonist is leet and it has been killed off several times.

Silent Hill (Any).
Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on July 04, 2012, 11:14:37 am
You forget some stuff.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Zygarde on July 04, 2012, 02:00:04 pm
Okay you're a scientist but the only science related thing you do is push a cart in a thing that thing blows up and aliens teleport in and start fucking shit up,so you spend the whole day hitting stuff with a crowbar also the military comes and does stuff and in the end you're hired by a guy in a suit to save the future from aliens again.

(Half-Life and Half-life 2)
Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Art Vandelay on July 04, 2012, 02:45:57 pm
Kid in a talking boat has to save the world from the thickest giant bird in history and some ginger asshole who just doesn't know when to give up. Along the way he meets pirates who do fuck all actual piracy and who're lead by a 10 year old girl, a species of former aquatic folk who apparently responded to the entire world flooding by evolving wings, because natural selection totally works that way and some fat aristocratic asshole who it turns out was actually the talking boat the entire time.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Osama bin Bambi on July 04, 2012, 02:58:55 pm
Okay so there's this city and a bunch of sick people and you're supposed to hit a bunch of things with your sword to find the cure, and then you go to other places too.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: DrFishcake on July 04, 2012, 03:45:07 pm
This guy is hooked up to a machine and is sent back in time by a secret society to find stuff for them, but he starts fucking that same secret society's shit up, occasionally taking a break to chat this chick up but he doesn't get any so that's pointless.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: SpaceProg on July 04, 2012, 04:12:32 pm
A spike-haired boy, a nerdy girl, and a rich little princess (literally) get involved in a crapload of temporal tomfoolery.  Accumulate friends from everywhen, then they save Earth from a giant space tick.

(click to show/hide)

Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: tygerarmy on July 04, 2012, 05:08:35 pm
You're arrested for illegally crossing the border into a country in the midst of a civil war.  At the same time as the person who started the civil war is arrested and you're all to be executed.  Right when you're about to be executed a Dragon happens to attack and kills everyone except the important people.  You must then decide to join the people who were going to kill you or the people who'd let you die to further they're cause.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Her3tiK on July 04, 2012, 06:51:34 pm
A multitude of gladiators await the field of battle. Fighters have joined this bloodsport for a variety of reasons, from proving they are the strongest, to reveling in mayhem and slaughter, fighting for their nation, even coercion and indentured servitude in some cases. These matches are run by a small guild of incredibly powerful beings who claim to be using the tournament to prevent total war and maintain peace, yet have shown questionable judgment in whom they allow to join the tournament, and have unilaterally used their power to stop the mightiest of nations from marching to war, causing some to doubt their benevolent motives.
The battles themselves are waged between two teams of assorted gladiators as they attempt to destroy the others' fortress while defending their own. To do so, they must battle mindless drones, wild beasts, and the opposing gladiators, to the death, regardless of any personal quarrels they may have with their own teammates. This latter detail is made easier by the fact that the gladiators are controlled by a third party, as though they are marionettes for another's amusement.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: ironbite on July 04, 2012, 07:26:09 pm
That wasn't very shitty.
Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Her3tiK on July 04, 2012, 08:24:51 pm
Quote from: ironbite on July 04, 2012, 07:26:09 pm
That wasn't very shitty.
I was focusing more on the politics the game glosses over >_>

They have a CHILD in the game, for Christsake!
Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Meshakhad on July 04, 2012, 09:16:14 pm
You aid a sentient computer in scientific research.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Patches on July 04, 2012, 09:24:40 pm
You lead a group of rebels trying to save the world from an evil clown.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: SpaceProg on July 04, 2012, 09:27:57 pm
You drive a car.  You turn left mostly.  Sometimes left AND right.  You try to cross the start/finish line first.  Mark Martin rules.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Søren on July 04, 2012, 10:19:22 pm
You are a soldier and you go to a tiny island in the middle of nowhere to punt off a bunch of Russians that plan to blow up another small island in the middle of nowhere with a small population and no strategic purpose in the hopes of starting world war 3

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Zygarde on July 04, 2012, 10:24:55 pm
You're this cool genetically modified person and you go around killing aliens and stuff then you get swarmed by all the aliens and die oh and your teammates are all dead except one and even then he's probably gonna die anyway.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: largeham on July 04, 2012, 10:36:05 pm
You have to move little men around a map fighting other little men and taking over their towns and have to deal with going bankrupt, the Pope meddling in your affairs and the fact that your people don't have the internet to occupy them so they spend their time belonging to the wrong religion or starting rebellions. Also, when you fight you have to micromanage hundreds of little people who eventually get really tired and shoot each other in the back. Also many of them can't climb stairs.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: ThunderWulf on July 04, 2012, 11:38:11 pm
You play a mute idiot who runs simple tests by running through teleporters and smacking into walls.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: SpaceProg on July 05, 2012, 12:02:55 am
You play a farmboy who gets turned into a wolf, then back again, then wolf again, then back, ETC.  Then he finally gets to choose when to transform, and in the end saves the world from a sword-swinging pig-beast man guy.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Art Vandelay on July 05, 2012, 12:15:39 am
In a society where fuelless steam engines are the norm, are used only to drive trains and the idea of maybe some sort of organised schedule for the world's rail network has never occurred to a anyone, one kid must drive what appears to be a barrel on rails from a small seaside village to a castle without fucking it up and become a train engineer. Once there, shit hits the fan, the evil cunt of a chancellor destroys almost all the tracks and plans to do bad, bad things to the former princess's corpse and the newly inaugurated engineer has to get himself a magical train and fix everything that asshole fucked up.

That said, the music kicks ass.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Zygarde on July 05, 2012, 12:36:30 am
Okay your this cool commander named Shepard and you do commander things like killing robots with flashlight heads and cruising around in a spaceship with a guy who sounds like Oz from Buffy. Then you get killed, but a company named after a three-headed dog brings you back to life and then you kill a bunch of insect people and blow up their base. Finally you kill a bunch of starships that are sentient,also a guy keeps trying to get a refund for a toaster oven.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: jumpingjackflash on July 05, 2012, 05:03:47 am
High school students led by some random male/female transfer student shoot themselves in the heads to fight black masked literal blobs in a friggin' HUGE tower.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Zygarde on July 05, 2012, 06:07:45 am
You sneak through the jungle and eat a lot of animals and also you look at this lady's fake boobs also there are these guys who carry an emotion into battle and your medic talks about old 50's and 60's B movies and stuff.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Witchyjoshy on July 05, 2012, 06:25:06 am
There's this game that takes place in this fantasy land that totally rips off WoW because it has elves and humans and dwarves and gnomes (called hobbits in this game) on the side of good and orcs and trolls and zombies and goblins (who are apparently also related to orcs, lol wut) on the side of evil.  No matter what you play, you're a wimpy character because these black robed people always make you cower like a pussy during cutscenes.  You run around, saving pies and doing so many escort missions.  The classes are basically paladin, mage, warrior, rogue, priest, hunter (it's even named the same, lol, they were too lazy to change the name but they didn't even give the class a proper pet.  wtf.), warlock, and then there's guardian (basically warrior without the dps, lol) and warden (wtf, it uses a stupid skill system)

Oh yeah, you also use wasd to move around, and the number keys to use skills.  I mean seriously.  Could they have ripped off World of Warcraft any more?  Oh, yeah, they did.  The main villain is totally a rip off of the Lich King, just with fire instead of ice.  Seriously, man.  SERIOUSLY.  And his servant is even called the WITCH KING.  I mean, SERIOUSLY!  Ugh.  I give it a 1/10.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: StallChaser on July 05, 2012, 06:35:23 am
You're a little girl.  People think you're a monster, so you help them.  You can also turn a random ass object like a fish or cactus into an uber powerful +10000 weapon of death that can own anything and everything in one hit.  Just when you get just a bit too cocky, a mushroom steals your weapon, throws it off a cliff, and now *you're* the one getting owned.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Patches on July 05, 2012, 08:41:23 am
Wake up on island.  Punch trees.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: SpaceProg on July 05, 2012, 09:52:19 am
Hang out with a bunch of animals.  Do stuff. 
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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Sleepy on July 05, 2012, 12:52:54 pm
You begin on an island with the desire to become a pirate, but in order to do so, you must complete tasks like find a buried t-shirt and steal this ugly idol thing from a mansion that's guarded by weird dogs. It takes you about two minutes to fall in love with the governor who lives in that mansion, and you're completely heartbroken when she is kidnapped by a creepy ghost pirate guy who wants to have her to himself. You have to go find your new love and defeat the ghost pirate guy with root beer.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Meshakhad on July 05, 2012, 02:45:57 pm
You play a country boy/girl who is forced to move to a major city with your family. You make friends and have adventures as you try to make your way in the big city.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Vypernight on July 05, 2012, 03:42:51 pm
A former soldier is upset that his former commanding office didn't hug him enough trust him and encourage him.  Because of that, he becomes a terrorist. 

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: largeham on July 05, 2012, 09:06:43 pm
You're stuck on an island with a suit of powered armour that runs out of power really quickly and most of the time doesn't act like armour anyway. You have to fight North Koreans, super-powered North Koreans and aliens which are extremely difficult to kill.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Alehksunos on July 05, 2012, 10:09:22 pm
You play as a red and yellow guy with unattached limbs trying to get his flag back.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: StallChaser on July 06, 2012, 03:54:08 pm
You have chicks that sing to kill enemies.  You have to protect them so their song isn't disrupted.  You can power up the girls by sticking crystals into their private areas and giving them bath salts.  The adventure starts when a strange cyber wolf tells one of the girls she is the maiden of disaster, and drama ensues.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: tygerarmy on July 06, 2012, 05:34:22 pm
You live in a world were all the worlds nations got started at the same time and you must lead your nation to glory.  You found cites while you spread your culture and religion around the globe.  You attack the loser of the American-Mongolian war, then Gandhi whose's been nothing but an ass the last 5000+ plus years nukes the shit out of you and starts world war 5 which lasted until 1817 when your allies and fellow Buddhists the Aztecs and Germans wiped the Indians of the peninsula leaving their lands to the neighboring Iroquois.  Then is 1950 Aristotle is born which leads to a golden age that allows to win on points via culture in the year 2050.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: clockworkgirl21 on July 08, 2012, 12:55:57 pm
You make people get dressed and eat meals every day.

Sims.
Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: ironbite on July 08, 2012, 02:44:30 pm
You awaken being informed that you were just shot in the head.  Against all advice...you go find the person who shot you in the head.

Ironbite-Fallout New Vegas.
Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Zygarde on July 08, 2012, 03:03:33 pm
Your a member of a small tribe decendint from some dude who came from an under ground place and you go on an epic adventure to save them oh and you kill the POTUS who's evil

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Alehksunos on July 09, 2012, 10:23:04 pm
You are a young Arabian girl who listened to the agonized voices of others, which had convinced you to go on an adventure. You even get a flying bird-kitty who later becomes a fat ball of fur (who can't fly) as your pet not even half way through the game. Also, the music is great, but it's the same tune as the theme.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Vypernight on July 10, 2012, 06:08:04 am
Quote from: tygerarmy on July 06, 2012, 05:34:22 pm
You live in a world were all the worlds nations got started at the same time and you must lead your nation to glory.  You found cites while you spread your culture and religion around the globe.  You attack the loser of the American-Mongolian war, then Gandhi whose's been nothing but an ass the last 5000+ plus years nukes the shit out of you and starts world war 5 which lasted until 1817 when your allies and fellow Buddhists the Aztecs and Germans wiped the Indians of the peninsula leaving their lands to the neighboring Iroquois.  Then is 1950 Aristotle is born which leads to a golden age that allows to win on points via culture in the year 2050.

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I figured this one out as soon as I read, "Gandhi whose's been nothing but an ass."


You can drop a piano on a person's head, cause another to get eaten by a shark, and mutilate an entire neighborhood with headclippers while dressed as a clown.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Art Vandelay on July 10, 2012, 06:15:09 am
Quote from: Vypernight on July 10, 2012, 06:08:04 am
You can drop a piano on a person's head, cause another to get eaten by a shark, and mutilate an entire neighborhood with headclippers while dressed as a clown.

(click to show/hide)

You're supposed to make it sound shitty, not awesome.
Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Zygarde on July 10, 2012, 06:27:19 am
You play as nine guys who try to shoot at each other also Australia has something to do with everything also....hats that is all

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: e13 on July 10, 2012, 09:11:02 am
You're building a wall, and some asshole keeps knocking it down. Sometimes you only have to put up with it for, like, five minutes tops. Other times, you have to wait until your wall exceeds safety limits in height and the government makes you take it down. It's really a lesson in bureaucracy and destruction of property.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: SpaceProg on July 10, 2012, 09:33:55 am
Meh, that's Russia for you.
Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Saturn500 on July 10, 2012, 09:38:35 am
You're pretty much a tiny maid for a middle-class family with severe issues. Also, there are talking toys.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Mrs Scratchitt on July 24, 2012, 03:19:23 am
You're a sort of human Barbie take-off who scavenges (sometimes very expensive) weapons and ammunition that have inexplicably been left lying about by other people, sometimes in places where presumably no human being has been for centuries.

You get to shoot plenty of rare animals from the top of a variety of food chains, plus quite a lot of dinosaurs, but you never get to put one in your tiny, tiny rucksack that incidentally, appears to be bottomless if the number of medical packs you put in it are anything to go by. Because showing a fresh dinosaur carcass to the scientific community just wouldn't be right, would it?

Instead of wowing the scientific community there's magic things for you to discover, because ancient artefacts on their own wouldn't be awesome enough - they have to be infused with crazy voodoo by the game-designers to make them awesome. This particular element of the game could be described as an allegory for religious fundies (ooh, it would suck for there not to be a god, etc.) Fairies at the bottom of the garden and all that.

You can also push and pull solid stone blocks many times your own weight and with no handles, outrun T-rexes and other shit.

And why are there so many medical packs lying around? And apparently all with the contents within their use by date?

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: StallChaser on July 24, 2012, 07:57:21 am
Your parents and all your friends are getting turned into demons, but you're somehow the only unaffected human.  You go after the boss demon that's doing it and end up kidnapping his daughter.  You fall in love with her, beat up the boss demon (her dad), and nothing happens.  Because she's the actual boss demon, and you're also a demon. 

Throughout the game, a character's strength seems to be inversely proportional to their muscle size.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: SpaceProg on July 24, 2012, 12:29:26 pm
You go around the world engaging in a cutesy and non-lethal form of dog-fighting.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Vypernight on July 28, 2012, 03:31:24 pm
You are a barrel of water, catching bombs that some idiot keeps dropping.

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You are driving a VERY SLOW car, in a straight line, for miles and miles.  If you hit a rock, you die.  If you hit a pothole, you die.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: largeham on July 29, 2012, 03:57:00 am
You are on a planet with few friends, everything trying to kill you and way too many guns. One of your only friends looks like a fatter version of Stalin. In the end you fight Cthulu.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on July 30, 2012, 10:52:22 pm
You wake up in the bathroom without no memory but many ways to commit suicide.  Also, you might just run into muggers that wanna totally fuck up your day and smelly-ass bums.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Witchyjoshy on July 30, 2012, 11:13:22 pm
Because my mood is shifted, I get to contribute again.

You play as a bunch of woodland furry creatures in a Star Wars rip off fighting against a giant floating head with hands.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: StallChaser on July 31, 2012, 09:48:30 am
You're a robot that shoots a bunch of things on a floating island.  You repeatedly beat the crap out of a robotic suitcase for great lulz, kill a doctor, and a possible uber boss with a name that suggests he's a giant ball, which he actually turns out to be.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Smurfette Principle on July 31, 2012, 10:19:28 am
You are a conductor on an Underground Railroad of sorts. You suck at it and most of your charges die. The few who survive do so largely because of the sacrifices of others, not because of your skill. Also, social commentary.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on August 01, 2012, 01:15:34 pm
You run away from home only to eventually wind up in an insane asylum.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Vypernight on August 01, 2012, 03:24:01 pm
You nearly break your neck trying to save some lost balloons for some little #^#@^^## brast!

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: e13 on August 01, 2012, 08:46:10 pm
You fix some paintings, play around inside them, and some kid isn't in prison afterwards.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: ironbite on August 01, 2012, 08:49:50 pm
You're born, you go through your infancy, you take a test to determine your destiny, then when you're an adult, escape from the only place you know into a harsh, radioactive wasteland, and then, after solving everyone's problems, you sacrifice yourself needlessly even though you have a buddy who can safely do a task that will kill you.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on August 02, 2012, 12:11:33 am
You fly through rings and take pictures of random shit, among other things.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Quasirodent on August 02, 2012, 10:17:37 am
You are the rather limited God in charge of a bunch of mentally handicapped people who will piss themselves, set themselves on fire, and starve to death unless you tell them to do simple daily tasks.
Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: VirtualStranger on August 02, 2012, 12:20:54 pm
Expose a government conspiracy with the power of photography.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: TheL on August 02, 2012, 06:13:20 pm
Quote from: Vypernight on August 01, 2012, 03:24:01 pm
You nearly break your neck trying to save some lost balloons for some little #^#@^^## brast!

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That's actually a very good description fo that game.  Every 5 minutes, "MY BALLOON!!!"
Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Vypernight on August 02, 2012, 06:27:23 pm
My friend thought it was funny to put that in his Marvel RPG.  Of course things turned out a little differently;

Vyper:  "I am Not Spiderman!"  (Shoots force bolts at balloon, destroying it and causing kid to sob uncontrollably)

(Vyper flies off without looking back)  "Just buy another one you cheap little brat.  My life is not worth it."
Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: StallChaser on August 06, 2012, 12:14:38 am
A vampire and his BFF werewolf overthrow the government, make the world's biggest idiot president, and stop the moon from falling with the "POWER OF LOOOVE!!!"  And a giant robot.  And sardines.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on August 06, 2012, 12:20:11 am
Fly around in a bunch of antique plains and occasionally unlock stories of said plains.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Art Vandelay on August 06, 2012, 12:32:38 am
Quote from: B-Man on August 06, 2012, 12:20:11 am
Fly around in a bunch of antique plains and occasionally unlock stories of said plains.
The idea of flying around in a geographical feature that on average takes up thousands of square kilometres sounds pretty snazzy.
Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Her3tiK on August 07, 2012, 01:45:18 pm
Wage war against over radioactive, terraforming rock that funds your armies while it kills them.
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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Alehksunos on August 07, 2012, 04:41:44 pm
You're a ship who transforms into a woman (and back) who travels a giant eye. Inside the eye you fight blobs, Roombas, robots and other weirdos, and the environment is diverse (for instance, there's an ocean floor!). You can also trick out your weaponry by either finding them, winning them against creatures and buying them with chips.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Atheissimo on August 07, 2012, 05:26:53 pm
An American bartender possesses the body of a disturbed Italian in order to discover where the Pope keeps his apples

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: Yla on August 08, 2012, 06:54:23 am
You do all the work and shit you'd do in real life, but it's supposed to be a game.

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Title: Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
Post by: StallChaser on August 08, 2012, 09:14:19 am
After getting yourself into a really bad situation, someone promises to bail you out if you work for them.  Given no other choice, you take the offer, but you're forced into a job that was fun at first, but you grow tired of it.  When you find out you'll never see your family again as a direct result of the job, the shit hits the fan.  You open one can of whup-ass, one large box, kill a bunch of copies of yourself, your employer, and take over his job.  This also sets up things for the sequel, because not everyone is happy with you (you're kind of a dick about it).

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