Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 363335 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline R. U. Sirius

  • He Who Must Be Smooched By Cute FSTDT Forumgirls
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2896
  • Gender: Male
  • Just look at me. Who could distrust this face?
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1890 on: July 22, 2013, 03:30:30 am »
Granted. It gives you terrible constipation.

I wish the zombie apocalypse would happen already.
http://www.gofundme.com/kw5o78
My GoFundMe campaign. Donations are greatly appreciated.

http://imgur.com/user/RUSirius1/submitted
My Imgur account. Upvotes always appreciated

If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

  • Directing Scenes for Celebritarian Needs
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2626
  • Gender: Male
  • Whatever doesn't kill you is gonna leave a scar
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1891 on: July 22, 2013, 04:19:02 am »
Granted. It gives you terrible constipation.

I wish the zombie apocalypse would happen already.
Granted. It starts in Texas and ends five minutes later with one dead zombie and twenty people killed in the crossfire.

I wish I had a faster computer.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline Valerius

  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 444
  • Gender: Male
  • Gentlemen.
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1892 on: July 22, 2013, 11:09:33 am »
Granted. Your computer is strapped to a rocket flying at supersonic speeds. it's very fast now.

I wish the current Canadian prime minister, Stephen Harper, had never got elected.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

  • Directing Scenes for Celebritarian Needs
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2626
  • Gender: Male
  • Whatever doesn't kill you is gonna leave a scar
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1893 on: July 22, 2013, 11:58:42 am »
Granted. Your computer is strapped to a rocket flying at supersonic speeds. it's very fast now.

I wish the current Canadian prime minister, Stephen Harper, had never got elected.
Granted. The Nazis won WW2 and rule the world. There's no Canada.

I wish I had a Death Note.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline R. U. Sirius

  • He Who Must Be Smooched By Cute FSTDT Forumgirls
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2896
  • Gender: Male
  • Just look at me. Who could distrust this face?
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1894 on: July 22, 2013, 04:22:41 pm »
Granted. The first thing you do is sign your name so no one else can steal it.

I wish for a perfect cyborg arm with artificial nerves I can feel through and enhanced strength.
http://www.gofundme.com/kw5o78
My GoFundMe campaign. Donations are greatly appreciated.

http://imgur.com/user/RUSirius1/submitted
My Imgur account. Upvotes always appreciated

If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

  • Directing Scenes for Celebritarian Needs
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2626
  • Gender: Male
  • Whatever doesn't kill you is gonna leave a scar
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1895 on: July 22, 2013, 04:23:44 pm »
Granted. The first thing you do is sign your name so no one else can steal it.

I wish for a perfect cyborg arm with artificial nerves I can feel through and enhanced strength.
Granted. Someone shoots you for it.

I wish I knew a gay robot.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline guizonde

  • anglican occitan
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1593
  • capslock is the devil
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1896 on: July 25, 2013, 10:17:43 am »
granted, it failed the turing test.

i wish moderates could actually shut up wingnuts
@ guizonde: I think I like the way you think.
Warning: Biohazardously Awesome


0_o 0_0 ¯\(º_o)/¯

Offline Veras

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1097
  • Gender: Male
  • I aim to misbehave
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1897 on: July 25, 2013, 11:04:18 am »
Granted, but because the wish applies retroactively, it creates a paradoxical loop.

Because moderates can shut up wingnuts, there are no good fundie quotes.
Because there are no good fundie quotes, there is no fstdt.
Because there is no fstdt, you were unable to make this wish.
Because you were unable to make this wish, moderates cannot shut wingnuts up.
Because moderates cannot shut wingnuts up, there are lots of good fundie quotes.
Because there are lots of good fundie quotes, fstdt exists.
Because fstdt exists, you are able to wish that moderates could shut wingnuts up.
(click to show/hide)

You've destroyed the universe.  Thanks, asshole.

I wish that my wife and I could spend more time together.
RIP Tony Benn (1925 - 2014)

"There is no moral difference between a stealth bomber and a suicide bomber. Both kill innocent people for political reasons."

“If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people.”

"I'm not frightened about death. I don't know why, but I just feel that at a certain moment your switch is switched off, and that's it. And you can't do anything about it."

Offline Sigmaleph

  • Ungodlike
  • Administrator
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 3615
    • sigmaleph on tumblr
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1898 on: July 25, 2013, 04:17:59 pm »
Granted. You are now two heads in one body.

I wish to know everything there is to know about complex analysis.
Σא

Offline R. U. Sirius

  • He Who Must Be Smooched By Cute FSTDT Forumgirls
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2896
  • Gender: Male
  • Just look at me. Who could distrust this face?
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1899 on: July 25, 2013, 04:30:25 pm »
Granted. The main thing you know is that it's too complex for you to figure out.

I wish for all of my sex fantasies to come true with no negative consequences for anyone.
http://www.gofundme.com/kw5o78
My GoFundMe campaign. Donations are greatly appreciated.

http://imgur.com/user/RUSirius1/submitted
My Imgur account. Upvotes always appreciated

If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline MadmanJohnson

  • Wrath of Primus
  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 298
  • Able to creep out Deimos.
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1900 on: July 25, 2013, 07:38:11 pm »
Granted....except you are now a robosexual.

I wish someone would set Yahtzee on fire,kick him repeatedly and shoot him in the face.
Before you die an agonizing, chainsaw-related death, you're gonna hear about the Hate Plague!
I'm accusing you of being stupid.
I dare to be stupid.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

  • Directing Scenes for Celebritarian Needs
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2626
  • Gender: Male
  • Whatever doesn't kill you is gonna leave a scar
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1901 on: July 26, 2013, 10:52:47 pm »
Granted....except you are now a robosexual.

I wish someone would set Yahtzee on fire,kick him repeatedly and shoot him in the face.
Granted. That someone is arrested, though.

I wish someone would destroy the entire Escapist website.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline anti-nonsense

  • Nerdalicious Canadian
  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 333
  • Gender: Female
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1902 on: July 27, 2013, 04:40:41 am »
Granted, only they accidentally destroy the entire internet along with it.

I wish I could get a date with somebody awesome.
From international relations to religious rivalries, from marriage to athlete's foot, whatever the problem a fundy's first solution is usually violence.

Offline R. U. Sirius

  • He Who Must Be Smooched By Cute FSTDT Forumgirls
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2896
  • Gender: Male
  • Just look at me. Who could distrust this face?
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1903 on: July 27, 2013, 04:42:18 am »
Granted, but you're run over by a semi on your way to the date.

I wish to be a licensed, successful scuba-diving instructor.
http://www.gofundme.com/kw5o78
My GoFundMe campaign. Donations are greatly appreciated.

http://imgur.com/user/RUSirius1/submitted
My Imgur account. Upvotes always appreciated

If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

  • Directing Scenes for Celebritarian Needs
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2626
  • Gender: Male
  • Whatever doesn't kill you is gonna leave a scar
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1904 on: July 27, 2013, 12:27:02 pm »
Granted, but you're run over by a semi on your way to the date.

I wish to be a licensed, successful scuba-diving instructor.
Granted. However, all the oceans are stolen by aliens.

I wish for red lightbulbs.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.