Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 363926 times)

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Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1920 on: July 30, 2013, 09:58:57 pm »
Granted. It's a sociopath, just like every other cat.

I wish my pets were sentient.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline Ghoti

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1921 on: July 30, 2013, 10:03:47 pm »
Granted. It's a sociopath, just like every other cat.

I wish my pets were sentient.
Granted. They take over the world, uplift all the other animals, and subjugate all humans. 
Long Live The Queen.

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Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1922 on: July 30, 2013, 10:08:00 pm »
Granted. It's a sociopath, just like every other cat.

I wish my pets were sentient.
Granted. They take over the world, uplift all the other animals, and subjugate all humans.
Wow. I can't imagine them figuring out their own tails, let alone that. They're dumb. As for you, you forgot your wish.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline Ghoti

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1923 on: July 30, 2013, 10:18:47 pm »
Granted. It's a sociopath, just like every other cat.

I wish my pets were sentient.
Granted. They take over the world, uplift all the other animals, and subjugate all humans.
Wow. I can't imagine them figuring out their own tails, let alone that. They're dumb. As for you, you forgot your wish.
I wish you hadn't pointed that out.  :P
Long Live The Queen.

Burn fire! Hellfire! Now Anita, its your turn! Choose GamerGate, or your pyre!
Be mine or you will buuurn!!

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1924 on: July 30, 2013, 10:31:59 pm »
Granted. It's a sociopath, just like every other cat.

I wish my pets were sentient.
Granted. They take over the world, uplift all the other animals, and subjugate all humans.
Wow. I can't imagine them figuring out their own tails, let alone that. They're dumb. As for you, you forgot your wish.
I wish you hadn't pointed that out.  :P
Granted. You're retconned from reality.

I wish for the ability to change my body fat and body weight at will.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline Ghoti

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1925 on: July 30, 2013, 10:44:59 pm »
Granted. It's a sociopath, just like every other cat.

I wish my pets were sentient.
Granted. They take over the world, uplift all the other animals, and subjugate all humans.
Wow. I can't imagine them figuring out their own tails, let alone that. They're dumb. As for you, you forgot your wish.
I wish you hadn't pointed that out.  :P
Granted. You're retconned from reality.

I wish for the ability to change my body fat and body weight at will.
Granted. Regardless of your body fat/weight, you're hideous.
I wish I could fly under my own power.
Long Live The Queen.

Burn fire! Hellfire! Now Anita, its your turn! Choose GamerGate, or your pyre!
Be mine or you will buuurn!!

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1926 on: July 30, 2013, 11:41:15 pm »
Granted, but you are completely unable to land any slower than terminal velocity.

I wish people would actually mature as they grew older.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Leafy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1927 on: July 30, 2013, 11:45:45 pm »
Granted, but everyone dies on their 18th birthday.

I wish my rabbit wouldn't chew anymore cords.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1928 on: July 30, 2013, 11:47:00 pm »
Granted, but you are completely unable to land any slower than terminal velocity.

I wish people would actually mature as they grew older.
Granted. They become horribly uptight, boring, and conservative, because that's what happens when you mature. As a result, rock stars don't last very long, either.

I wish people would stay less mature and more fun.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline Ghoti

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1929 on: July 31, 2013, 12:11:23 am »
Granted, but you are completely unable to land any slower than terminal velocity.

I wish people would actually mature as they grew older.
Granted. They become horribly uptight, boring, and conservative, because that's what happens when you mature. As a result, rock stars don't last very long, either.

I wish people would stay less mature and more fun.
Granted. They all turn into Clone!Pinkie Pie-esque FUN FUN FUN WHERE IS THE FUN MOAR FUN FUN FUN!!! dipshits.

I wish I could be nocturnal with no repercussions.
Long Live The Queen.

Burn fire! Hellfire! Now Anita, its your turn! Choose GamerGate, or your pyre!
Be mine or you will buuurn!!

Offline Leafy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1930 on: July 31, 2013, 07:31:10 pm »
Granted, but it's always sunny where you are.

I wish I could swim in really cold water.

Offline Ghoti

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1931 on: July 31, 2013, 08:04:41 pm »
Granted, but it's always sunny where you are.

I wish I could swim in really cold water.
Granted. You melt in hot water.

I wish my sister's STUPID FREAKING CAT would stop puking on everything I love.
Long Live The Queen.

Burn fire! Hellfire! Now Anita, its your turn! Choose GamerGate, or your pyre!
Be mine or you will buuurn!!

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1932 on: July 31, 2013, 08:20:28 pm »
Granted. Now it has diahrea on it.

I wish for a winged horse that can actually fly.
http://www.gofundme.com/kw5o78
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http://imgur.com/user/RUSirius1/submitted
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Ghoti

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1933 on: July 31, 2013, 08:58:25 pm »
Granted. It flies away and befriends your worst enemy.

I wish that every time I open my wallet to pay for something, I have exactly the amount of money I need.
Long Live The Queen.

Burn fire! Hellfire! Now Anita, its your turn! Choose GamerGate, or your pyre!
Be mine or you will buuurn!!

Offline Valerius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1934 on: July 31, 2013, 10:29:53 pm »
Granted. It's only ever in pennies though. Shitloads of pennies. It can fit them all because it's magic.

I wish demand for beef, steak, and other cow products, globally, wasn't nearly as high as it is right now.