Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 363573 times)

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Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #570 on: April 05, 2012, 05:27:34 am »
Granted, you get the rights to My Little Pony and through some quirk of copyright law, the aforementioned rights cannot be sold or even given to others, thus causing the show to be immediately discontinued and those attempting to watch previous episodes or even talk about them are immediately arrested and put to death. Incidentally, my own wish was just granted. Corruption-free, no less.

I wish for a chicken and cheese burger.

Offline e13

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #571 on: April 05, 2012, 06:28:49 pm »
Granted. You choke on it and die.

I wish I wasn't so vindictive.

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QueenofHearts

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #572 on: April 05, 2012, 06:32:14 pm »
Granted you're so nice you let people walk all over you

I wish Germans were funnier people

Offline Her3tiK

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #573 on: April 05, 2012, 09:21:02 pm »
Granted you're so nice you let people walk all over you

I wish Germans were funnier people
Granted. Hitler filled concentration camps with un-funny people instead of Jews (not that I know of many funny Jews, come to think of it), in an attempt to create a master race of comedians. His manuscripts say he did it, quite literally for the lulz.

I wish someone would commit a heinous act for the lulz, just so that phrase wound up in history books.
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Ego: +5

There are a number of ways, though my favourite is simply to take them by surprise. They're just walking down the street, minding their own business when suddenly, WHACK! Penis to the face.

Offline Meshakhad

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #574 on: April 06, 2012, 03:34:34 pm »
Granted. As a result, the term "for the lulz" becomes associated with the most heinous evil.

I wish I had won the Mega Millions jackpot.
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Offline tygerarmy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #575 on: April 06, 2012, 05:01:38 pm »
Granted, so you did as did everybody else who wished they did, in the end you get $50.

I wish for more Arizona Iced Tea
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Offline Deus ex Populo

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #576 on: April 11, 2012, 08:46:41 pm »
Every body of water on Earth is replaced with Arizona iced tea, driving the vast majority of aquatic organisms to extinction. The rest of Earth's biosphere collapses with it, and you are killed and eaten by your closest friend.

I wish to become a successful political activist.
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Offline Undecided

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #577 on: April 12, 2012, 04:02:30 am »
Granted. The Koch brothers kidnap you and plant a chip in your head to control you. Against your will, you are now the most successful conservative American demagogue ever known and are to become personally responsible for destroying the liberal and radical strains of political thought. As a result, global warming and ever more virulent financial crises ravage the world, eventually leading to humankind's post-nuclear holocaust twilight period. The guilt of being the unwilling vehicle of our civilization's destruction rends your psyche to shreds, and you die fractured and alone.

I wish the people I cared about were more stable.
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Offline N. De Plume

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #578 on: April 12, 2012, 07:25:08 am »
Granted. You absorb all their instabilities and now must bear them all yourself.

I wish I had a 60-inch plasma screen TV.
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Offline Deus ex Populo

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #579 on: April 12, 2012, 11:39:59 am »
You give birth to a 60-inch plasma-screen TV, with all of the associated complications. You end up dying in the process.

I wish for safe, reliable and affordable interplanetary travel within the decade.
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Offline Her3tiK

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #580 on: April 12, 2012, 03:27:53 pm »
You die two days before the maiden voyage.

I wish my roommate would take better care of his cat.
Her3tik, you have groupies.
Ego: +5

There are a number of ways, though my favourite is simply to take them by surprise. They're just walking down the street, minding their own business when suddenly, WHACK! Penis to the face.

Offline e13

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #581 on: April 12, 2012, 05:15:25 pm »
You die two days before the maiden voyage.

I wish my roommate would take better care of his cat.
Granted. He gives the cat to you.

I wish I'd stop losing things.

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Offline Deus ex Populo

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #582 on: April 12, 2012, 05:58:06 pm »
You stop losing things. In fact, you are absolutely incapable of losing anything. This includes things you actually want to lose, like bad memories or habits. You can't even die, since you stop losing your life as well. You are doomed to walk the earth forever, gradually accumulating the physical and emotional baggage of immortality but unable to do anything about it. You are reduced to a crippled wreck, barely mustering (but not losing) the will to even live, but still firmly connected to reality (since you can't lose your sanity, either). Eventually, you are kidnapped and used by a criminal as a human shield. When that criminal is finally caught by police, you are taken in with him to be experimented on for the rest of eternity.

I wish for awesome music that won't kill anyone upon hearing it, and with no legal repercussions for the ownership thereof.
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Offline e13

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #583 on: April 13, 2012, 12:36:09 pm »
You stop losing things. In fact, you are absolutely incapable of losing anything. This includes things you actually want to lose, like bad memories or habits. You can't even die, since you stop losing your life as well. You are doomed to walk the earth forever, gradually accumulating the physical and emotional baggage of immortality but unable to do anything about it. You are reduced to a crippled wreck, barely mustering (but not losing) the will to even live, but still firmly connected to reality (since you can't lose your sanity, either). Eventually, you are kidnapped and used by a criminal as a human shield. When that criminal is finally caught by police, you are taken in with him to be experimented on for the rest of eternity.

I wish for awesome music that won't kill anyone upon hearing it, and with no legal repercussions for the ownership thereof.
Granted. It's so awesome you can never stop talking about it to anyone. Ever!

I wish I received more insanely awesome corrupted wishes like the one I just received from Deus.

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Offline Jack Bauer

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #584 on: April 17, 2012, 07:17:35 am »
Granted. The wishes are so insanely awesome and the experience of corrupting them is so overwhelmingly, well, overwhelming, that you are, er, overwhelmed.

I wish for chewing gum that never loses its flavour.
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