Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 363418 times)

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Offline Zygarde

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #840 on: July 28, 2012, 07:36:46 pm »
Granted now you have a banana shoved far up your rectum.

I wish I had a boyfriend.

Saturn500

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #841 on: July 28, 2012, 07:49:04 pm »
Granted, but he was castrated by Femitheist Divine, and he can't afford a strap-on dick or anything like that, so in order to simulate sex, he has to shove a banana up your rectum.

I wish Doug Wilson would have a run-in with an army of velociraptors.

Offline ironbite

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #842 on: July 28, 2012, 08:27:15 pm »
Granted.  Me and my chibi-clones then go out and destroy the world

Ironbite-I wish I hadn't destroyed the world.

Saturn500

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #843 on: July 28, 2012, 08:59:52 pm »
Granted. You and your chibi-clones are instead slain by a red-haired swordsman.

(Ys Fanboyism has ranked up to "ALRIGHT! WE GET IT! THE YS FRANCHISE MAKES YOUR DICK ROCK HARD! NOW PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT IT FOR TWO SECONDS!")

I wish Niam's mother's boyfriend Marcos would sleep with the fishes.

Offline Deus ex Populo

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #844 on: July 28, 2012, 09:38:40 pm »
Marcos turns out to be an amphibian merely disguised as a human and needs to stay in water for at least 8 hours to keep his skin moist. To keep up his disguise among us, he only goes into the water at night--thus literally sleeping with the fishes. As it turns out, he's part of an advance scouting/infiltration force for a race of sapient amphibians that wish to exterminate humanity and remake the world in their image. You try to warn others of their plot, but everyone who listens to you mocks you for being a conspiracy nut.

In the end, their plot succeeds. The Earth is flooded* and most of humanity is killed; the rest are enslaved in the mines that now cover the remaining land mass, never to see the light of day again.

* Part of their plan involves warming the earth to the point where all surface ice melts, expanding the current bodies of water to a more comfortable size. To this end they have infiltrated energy and media companies to pump greenhouse gasses into the atmosphere spread global-warming denialism.

_____

I wish for alien intervention to free humans from the above scenario, but without them enslaving us for a second time.
« Last Edit: July 28, 2012, 09:40:23 pm by Deus ex Populo »
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Saturn500

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #845 on: July 28, 2012, 10:04:28 pm »
Granted. Da Orkz decide that the amphibians would make good opponents. Soon after the Orks win, they start reproducing...
(Hey, you didn't say freeing us would be their goal, or if they would even care, now, did ya?)

I wish for world peace.

Offline Delirium

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #846 on: July 28, 2012, 11:49:00 pm »
Everyone on earth promptly dies. Yay, now we have world peace!

I wish for a three-way with Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleston.

Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #847 on: July 29, 2012, 12:08:10 am »
Granted. Turns out they both have vaginas.

I wish I had better eyesight.

Offline N. De Plume

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #848 on: July 29, 2012, 10:26:50 am »
Granted. Now you see everythying even that which drives you mad.

I wish the International Olympic Committee weren’t a bunch of Intellectual Property Fascists.
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Saturn500

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #849 on: July 29, 2012, 09:39:32 pm »
Granted, they become literal fascists.

I wish Doug Phillips would kick the bucket.

Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #850 on: July 29, 2012, 09:59:05 pm »
Granted. He kicks it in your general direction. You end up in hospital for bucket-to-the-head related injuries.

I wish it weren't so cold.

Offline Veras

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #851 on: July 29, 2012, 10:18:00 pm »
Granted.  The entire planet bursts into flames.

I wish it weren't so hot.
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Offline rookie

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #852 on: July 29, 2012, 10:56:27 pm »
Granted.  The entire planet bursts into flames.

I wish it weren't so hot.

Holy shit, you people are hard to please. Fine. The world is now a perfect somewhere in the middle. So all desert dwelling animals along with polar bears and penguins are extinct.

I wish there was something worth watching on TV tonight.
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Saturn500

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #853 on: July 29, 2012, 11:06:27 pm »
Granted. I hope you like Everybody Loves Hypnotoad!

I wish Shirley Phelps would "ride the Perma-Pine".

Offline tygerarmy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #854 on: July 30, 2012, 09:29:05 pm »
Grants, Fred Phelps and the rest of the Phelps clan take turns riding you.

I wish marijuana was legal everywhere.
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