I'm trying to finish my thesis this week. I've been working on it for years, and it's due at the end of August. I've collected all of the data, and I just need to run the model and write up the results. To do this, I need access to SPSS, which is (theoretically) available for free for a 2 week trial period, which is plenty of time.
Here are the steps that I've gone through to try to get it, and why each one has failed.
1. Tried to download it on Chrome (need Java, Chrome and Java don't work)
2. Tried to download it on Firefox (Firefox is fucked up and laggy)
3. Tried to fix Firefox (updates and solutions didn't work)
4. Tried to download SPSS on IE (Java is out of date)
5. Updated Java, tried to download SPSS again on IE (Java is out of date)
6. Switched back to Firefox, even though it took 20 minutes to fill out their 12 question download form (Java is disabled)
7. Enabled Java, successfully downloaded after spending another 20 minutes on the stupid form
8. Attempted to install three times, failed every time without explanation
9. Got pissed off, gave up... came back a few hours later, attempted another install, and it worked for no reason
10. Joyously opened SPSS and attempted to copy my data into an SPSS dataset. (failed due to error with license)
11. Checked license, it's valid
12. Checked SPSS troubleshooting, found and implemented solution (twice, because the first time it didn't even pretend to work).
13. Opened SPSS again, failed due to error with license.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! Seriously, I just need it to run a couple of simple crosstabs and one goddamn regression. I am now in the process of uninstalling SPSS 18, for which I had a paid subscription in 2011, hoping that its presence on my computer is somehow interfering with SPSS 23, which I should be able to freely use for two weeks. Obviously, that's not going to work, because there's no reason that it should, and nothing in this process has worked correctly even when there's no reason that it shouldn't.
My wife suggested that I buy it, but since I'm not technically enrolled in any courses, I can't get the $150 year long subscription, I would have to pay $2500 for a year of the cheapest version. This price is particularly steep considering that the evidence seems to indicate that I won't be able to open it anyway.
YAY!!!!