I have a better one that I saw going around the net a few years back, supposedly from a church.
* This was handed out to parents by a church *
Is Your Child a Goth? Presented by St. Mary’s Church
Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that
young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer,
and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan’s temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child.
1. -Frequently wears black clothing.
2. -Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
3. -Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish.
4. -Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.
5.-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
6. -Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
7. -Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
8. -Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
9. -Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
10. -Takes drugs.
11. -Drinks alcohol.
12. -Is suicidal and/or depressed.
13. -Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
14. -Complains of boredom.
15. -Sleeps too excessively or too little.
16. -Is excessively awake during the night.
17. -Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
18. -Spends large amounts of time alone.
19. -Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
20. -Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
21. -Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
22. -Misbehaves at school.
23. -Misbehaves at home.
24. -Eats excessively or too little
25. -Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
26. -Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
27. -Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
28. -Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
29. -Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
30. -Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
31. -Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
32. -Expresses an interest in sex.
33. -Masturbates.
34. -Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
35. -Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
36. -Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: “I’m so gothic, I’m dead”, “woe is me”, “I’m a goth”.
37. -Claims to be a goth.
If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
~St. Mary’s Catholic Church
I added numbers to it so I can easily run down the list as I answer each one.
1. Yep, I wear black clothing.
2. If I could find some in my size I would totally wear band shirts.
3. I'm a guy, so I don't wear make-up, but I would consider doing to dress up for a concert, festival, or to fuck with fundies.
4. Ugh, it's stainless steel actually, but I'm sure my pentacle necklace from GI Jewelry counts. I'd love to have more pentacles, occult symbols, ect. jewelry, but I've not got around to buying it.
5. I can't say I particularly want a tattoo or piercing, but I do think some are cool and laugh at bad ones posted online.
6. Of course, I even have the mentioned artist Marilyn Manson on my Iphone's MP3 player, but it's his cover of Rammstein's song "Sonne".
7. *Looks around forum at all our odd, eccentric members. Also notes his being a brony* Oh that's a
hell fucking yeah!
8. I have no "positive" interest in the former three and I'm not really interested in all the normal sports. I do like paintball, airsoft, and some other things that aren't normally the first thing that comes to mind when one thinks of sports.
9. If zombies and skull emblems count, only the old school kind of vampires, yes, yes, and yes, respectively.
10. No.
11. No.
12. Depressed but I take medication and normally feel fine.
13. If burns and missing hair from a flame thrower prototype experiment counts, yeah. (See: Zippo and can of butane. Yes the kind I want to make is legal, it's a butane lighter on steroids, essentially.)
14. I'm bored at times but I don't normally complain, I just whip out my Iphone and play either Nazi Zombies or Robot Unicorn Attack 2.
15. I sleep odd hours and sometime take mid-day naps, yes.
16. Yep, I'm pretty nocturnal.
17. I don't think the amount of privacy I prefer is unusual. I mean seriously, do they expect me to leave the bathroom door open when taking a piss?
18. Yes and no. I don't spend all my time with my parents, but they're busy most of the day, my little brother is usually just playing on the computer. I don't hang out with other people in person except for weekends usually because my friends don't live very close to me. I do play on Xbox Live with my friends and I go to this sites chat some times. I not usually alone other than in the sense that there isn't someone in the room physically.
19. If I'm doing something that's hard I might ask people to be quiet for a minute, but my house is usually not very loud to begin with.
20. Of course me and my friends hang out alone. We all got our driver's licenses in the last couple years and we've all just recently graduated high school and have turned 18. That said we don't do most of the normal stupid teen stuff. In fact when one of my friend's stoner friends asked if we could take his car somewhere so he could smoke his weed the rest of gave him a "Hell no!". We went to a cigar shop but that's about it. We
do do things like build flamethrowers and mess with fireworks, but I do that at home and my parents just tell us not to hurt ourselves.
21. Yes if the teacher doesn't know what they are talking about, yes, yes, and maybe depending on the circumstances, respectively.
22. Not usually, grabbed a guy by the collar and slammed him in to a wall once and threatened to do worse to him, but that was after he had grabbed my crotch. I also once told a the star football player, who was being an arrogant jackass and hated me, to go fuck himself loudly in the middle of class. I was sent to the principal, who didn't have any real problem with what I did and only made me come in 10 minutes early for detention the next day.
23. Nope, no reason to.
24. Yep, like most guys my age.
25. First, dafuq? Second, You mean Count
Chocula, and I don't think they've made that in years. Three, no I don't.
26. Funny story, once, after my friend had nicked his finger with his pocket knife or something and was sucking the blood off it I made the comment that it'd be kind of cool if they made a blood flavored drink. He and another guy who were there both agreed that it'd be pretty cool, and it could totally sell because of the vampire craze Twilight started.
27. *Clicks back to page from looking at Pornhub.com* What's that now?
28. I think the least violent game I regularly play currently is Minecraft, and that still involves slashing zombies.
29. I spend almost all the time I have when I'm at my house either on the computer or on my xbox, because there's not much else to do around here.
30. Violent headbanging usually gives me a headache, but I do often nod my head to the beat of the music. Fun Fact: The "Devil Horns" hand sign came from Ronnie James Dio's very catholic mother, who said it had something to do with warding off evil back in the middle ages or something.
31. I don't dance at all really, so no. I dislike the concept that dry humping is dancing.
32. Is that really a question that needs to be asked?
33. Again, do you really need to ask that or is it rhetorical?
34. I'm neither of those, but I'm sure being a brony is close enough for these people.
35. Yes, no, yes, yes, yes, no, no, to each religion mentioned respectively. I'm interpreting "pursue" as "learn about", not necessarily following said religion. Also philosophy isn't a religion, and I'm surprised the didn't include atheism and "evolutionism" in there.
36. There are several patches I've found online that are either atheism or occult in nature that I would love to have.
37. Nope, I don't.
Now to tally it up. There are 19 hard yeses*, and a further 8 maybes** for a total of 27 out of 37. They said if 5 or more apply then the devil is inside me. What do I win?
* 1, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 12, 15, 16, 20, 21, 24, 27, 28, 29, 30, 32, 33, 35
**2, 3, 13, 14, 18, 22, 26, 36
