Ah, the good old, if you think sex is great, there's no such thing as rape line of 'thinking'. (yanno - cutting to the crux and crucially and spectacularly missing THE key element that actually makes sex great)
Jermaine S. (sockpuppet Esquire?) Come on down and pick up your never had (and never going to have) a relationship award!
(If you like decorating Christmas trees, you must love lynchings...)